


Confessions

by kangzeulgi



Category: BLACKPINK (Band)
Genre: Angst, Chaelisa - Freeform, F/F, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-02
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2019-06-20 18:12:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15540066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kangzeulgi/pseuds/kangzeulgi
Summary: Park Chaeyoung is at church every Sunday with a big secret and a lot of feelings. Lalisa Manoban is out and proud with a big secret and a lot of feelings.





	1. Chapter 1

The last thing Lisa wanted was to get dragged out of her bed at 6 am to go to a place she certainly didn't feel accepted for being who she was. Her mother and stepfather haven't even bothered mentioning going to church, that is until she came out of the closet. 

Of course Lisa didn't regret it. She had spent her whole life, roughly 21 years to be exact, hiding who she was because she didn't even know being gay was a possibility. She grew up under the impression that she was to end up with a man and pop out a few kids, and she never understood why kissing boys under the bleachers of her old high school basketball court just didn't give her the fireworks and butterflies all of her friends talked about. She was just slightly irritated that her parents insisted on going to church a week after she announced her sexuality over the dinner table, but of course "it had nothing to do with each other."

Lisa sighed as she pulled her sheets off of her, rubbing her eyes and slowly making her way towards her bathroom. Maybe slightly irritated was an understatement. 

When Lisa heard a knock on her bathroom door, she had to curb the urge to take the comb she was running through her long blonde hair and throw it.

"Lalisa? Are you okay?" Came a muffled voice. She breathed a sigh of relief, opening the door quickly.

"Seulgi-ah..." She sighed, taking her best friend in a hug. Seulgi gave her a tight squeeze, rubbing her back gently. She didn't expect her to be here at such early hours of the morning. Hell, the sun hadn't even risen yet, but she appreciated it more than anything. "I'm okay, just a little angry." She pulled back and Seulgi scrunched her nose.

"Your breath stinks."

That earned a push from Lisa, who dramatically grabbed her toothbrush and made a show of putting toothpaste on the end of it.

"I hope you're fully aware you're an asshole." Lisa mumbled through her foam filled mouth, looking back at the mirror to focus on brushing her teeth.

Seulgi laughed and Lisa smiled at the sound, shaking her head softly.

Seulgi and Lisa had been friends since they were toddlers, after Lisa's parents moved them to South Korea from Thailand. Lisa's mother set them up on playdates, feeling relaxed because Seulgi's parents were probably the nicest people on Earth and it was easy for her not to worry too much about her daughter's whereabouts when she was right next door. Seulgi and Lisa knew each other like the back of their hands, to the point where Seulgi told Lisa that Lisa was gay before Lisa told Seulgi. Seulgi was fairly popular in high school, her grades never falling below an A and her skills in dance attracting both boys and girls from all directions. Lisa may have been a bit jealous, but that never stopped Seulgi from protecting her against her fellow classmates that bothered Lisa for being a foreigner (and the gay rumors that floated around even though Lisa really tried her best to like Jeon Jungkook that one time).

"Are you sure you don't want me to come with you today?" Seulgi asked once Lisa put her toothbrush away, making her way back in her bedroom to search through her closet for something "church appropriate," as her mother said.

"Yeah, don't worry about it. My parents already think we're dating now anyway. Probably wouldn't be the brightest idea to take my "girlfriend" to my first Sunday at church." Lisa grabbed a pair of mom jeans, a yellow shirt, and a belt.

Seulgi made an audible gagging noise, which caused Lisa to smack her with the end of her belt.

"Yah, Lisa! What? You  _don't_ think it's gross that your parents think we're a thing?"

"It's pretty disgusting, actually." Lisa pulled off her pajamas and changed into her clothes, tucking her shirt in and securing her pants around her waist with her belt. She reached down and picked up her yellow checkered vans, slipping them on her feet.

"I'm gonna go home now, okay? I just wanted to come over and check on you to make sure you're alright." Seulgi squeezed Lisa's shoulder and Lisa put a hand over Seulgi's.

"Thank you, Seul. I'll text you if anything happens." Seulgi's hand dropped and Lisa's followed afterwards, giving Seulgi's fingers one last squeeze before she opened her bedroom door and made her way downstairs, her best friend following closely behind her. She brought her into a hug once they reached the front door, mumbling quiet "I love you's" so her mother, who was sitting at the kitchen table, looking at them over the rim of her glasses, wouldn't accuse Lisa of secretly dating her next door neighbor. Again.

Once Seulgi closed the door behind her, Lisa's mother cleared her throat.

"What was that about?" She asked, taking a small sip of her coffee. 

"What was what about? She came over to make sure I wasn't freaking out that you're dragging me to church for the first time in my life just because I told you I liked girls." Lisa winced at her tone of voice, realizing how rude it came across. She knew she was to respect her elders, no matter the situation. This had to be an exception, though.

"Lalisa," Lisa's stepfather's voice boomed from the top of the stairs as he made his way down, fixing the collar on his button-up shirt. "Lose the attitude with your mother. She is just trying to help you."

"Yes, sir." Lisa clenched her jaw, grabbing an apple from the bowl of fruit presented in front of her and taking a rather angry bite of it.

The rest of breakfast was quiet and awkward, Lisa refusing the pancakes her mother made because she was afraid she might just throw it up from the amount of anxiety flowing through her veins going to church was creating. Lisa's stepfather tried to get her to change her outfit a handful of times, deeming it "inappropriate" for church. Lisa wasn't sure whether it really wasn't her best Sunday outfit or it was the fact she kinda looked a bit gay. She assumed it was the second.

After it was apparent Lisa wasn't going to change her outfit, her stepfather gave up and they left the house, Lisa sticking earphones in her ears as soon as her foot hit her front porch. She looked up at her neighbor's second floor window, her expression lightening up a bit when she saw Seulgi giving her a thumbs up, which she returned with a wide smile.

"Lets go, Lisa." She heard her mother speak, followed by the closing of a car door. She sighed, giving Seulgi one last look before she climbed in the back seat, turning her music up to full volume so she wouldn't be bothered by her, what she assumed, homophobic parents.

It felt like the longest drive of Lisa's life. Longer than any 4 hour road-trip she took with Seulgi and her parents before she dropped the gay bomb and longer than any date with Jeon Jungkook she suffered through to please her parents and the people around her. Anxiety bubbled in her stomach once she saw the church, swallowing an audible gulp of air as her parents found a parking spot nice and close.

Lisa wasn't even sure if she believed in God, so why the hell did she feel like she was going to burst into flames the moment she stepped into the admittedly beautiful building in front of her? Was it internalized homophobia? Or the memory of the look on her mother's face and the way her stepfather stood up whenever she announced she was gay as they were passing around kimchi?

She finally found the courage to get out of the car and took a deep breath, watching as families of several different sizes made their way through the front doors. She blinked a few times, trying to figure out if this was really happening, if her parents were really dragging her into a Roman Catholic church at 7:30 am.

They were, she decided, as they hurried her into the building, her stepfather in front of her and her mother behind her as if they expected her to bolt to the closest exit. The service was supposed to start in roughly 30 minutes, so her family took a seat in the middle of the seemingly endless isles. Lisa looked around, taking note of the colored glass and Jesus himself hanging from a cross on the far end of the church. She saw several microphones and a small section for the church's choir. If she wasn't so terrified, maybe she'd take pictures. It was one of her favorite hobbies, besides dancing and writing. 

She was broken out of her thoughts when a man and a woman began introducing themselves to her parents. 

"...And this is our daughter, Lalisa." She heard her mom say and she offered the kindest smile she could, wondering if they would kick her out if they knew why she was there.

"It is so nice to see fresh faces here. We usually don't get new people here unless they have recently moved. Are you new to Seoul?" The woman asked, looking at Lisa and smiling softly. Her eyes were kind. Lisa thought maybe she wouldn't kick her out.

"No, we are not. We've just been struggling..." Lisa's mother paused and it took every fiber of Lisa's being to not scoff. "We've been struggling with finding the right church."

"Ah, I see. Well, you have a beautiful daughter, the both of you. You'll have to meet ours soon. Her name is Jisoo, and I have a feeling Lisa would get along with her very well." Jisoo's mother nodded towards Lisa and gave a knowing smile, causing Lisa to knit her eyebrows for a quick second before she cleared her throat and nodded.

Huh, maybe she did look gay today. Maybe Jisoo is gay too. Maybe. 

The couple eventually walked away, looking for their daughter, Lisa assumed. 

Lisa watched her mother pick up a copy of the music they sing every service and skim through it, her stepfather leaning over and peeking at it over her shoulder as well. Lisa decided to find somewhere else for her eyes, somewhere that didn't involve lyrics about what sent you to hell and what didn't.

The men and women who were apart of the church choir began sitting themselves down in their small section. Lisa saw the couple from earlier approach a girl with black hair and cupid shaped lips, each giving her a kiss on the cheek. 

_Must be Jisoo._ She thought.

Jisoo had the same kind eyes as her mother, standing up and bowing to every adult coming by to say hello to her. Lisa couldn't help but smile. Maybe she'd introduce herself to Jisoo after church. Only if she didn't feel like running. Maybe.

"Hello everyone." Jisoo's father smiled from the podium, the noise of his voice causing everyone that was standing to take their seats and everyone that was talking to silence their voices. "Welcome to St. Ann's Catholic Church." Lisa's eyebrows raised a bit. Jisoo's parents ran the church? She must've missed that part when she was thinking of things she would rather be doing than being here. She felt a bit disappointed. Wouldn't it be unlikely for the priest's daughter to be a lesbian?

Lisa sighed and prepared herself for the longest hour of her life.

As Jisoo's dad continued talking, mostly reciting Bible verses, Lisa felt her eyes droop. They kept the church cold, and Lisa loved sleeping in the cold. It was like he was reading her a bed time story about how some big fantasy man created Heaven and Earth. It was like the stories her mother used to read her about dragons and unicorns back home in Thailand.

Lisa's head snapped up when she heard singing. She saw none other than Jisoo, whose eyes were closed and eyebrows were furrowed so she could focus on sounding like she knew what she was doing.

_"Let us build a house where prophets speak,_

_and words are strong and true,_

_where all God’s children dare to seek to dream God’s reign anew._

_Here the cross shall stand as witness and as symbol of God’s grace;_

_here as one we claim the faith of Jesus._

_All are welcome,_

_all are welcome,_

_all are welcome in this place."_

If Lisa was being completely honest with herself, she was speechless. Jisoo's voice was something she had never heard before. Every single note was stable. It was like she had been doing this for years, and she probably had.

She decided if there was one thing she had to enjoy about church, it was the music. It seemed as if everyone around her was enjoying it too. All eyes were locked on Jisoo, including her parents.

Once Jisoo stopped singing, Lisa frowned a bit and watched her walk to the section reserved for the church choir. Then, a girl with long and light pink hair stood, smiling at Jisoo and giving her a thumbs up as she slid past her.

"Holy shit.." Lisa mumbled under her breath. Her mother shot a glare at her and she dipped her head down apologetically, a small smile forming on her lips at the irony.  _Holy shit._

_"Let us build a house where love is found in water, wine and wheat:_

_a banquet hall on holy ground where peace and justice meet._

_Here the love of God, through Jesus, is revealed in time and space;_

_as we share in Christ the feast that frees us._

_All are welcome,_

_all are welcome,_

_all are welcome in this place."_

If Lisa's parents had really taken her to church to cure her homosexuality, it sure as hell wasn't working.

On the plus side, maybe Lisa was beginning to believe in angels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is my first fic so please be patient with me. i'm also not religious so if i get anything pertaining to christianity wrong, i'm sorry. as this goes on, i'm planning to make the chapters much longer. i'm just getting used to writing on archive. thank you SO much for reading :) also chaelisa is the best ship in blackpink


	2. Chapter 2

Lisa found it odd that she didn't want mass to end. She wasn't very open to the idea of church itself, but the way Jisoo, the girl with lips to match the color of her hair, and the rest of the choir carried themselves made her a bit curious.

She had to admit, music in all forms was beautiful. While the choir was singing, the others in mass joined along, quiet enough to not drown out the people that spent hours practicing. Quiet enough to not drown out the soloists. Some people had their eyes closed, their bodies swaying back and forth, some holding hands with the people next to them. Lisa loved the unity, but it didn't take long for Lisa to remember the Bible didn't. One look at her parents reminded her of the hatred she had witnessed and come into close contact with all throughout high school and at home this past week.

"That was fun, wasn't it? You liked it, didn't you?" Lisa knew her mother meant for that to be a question, but it sounded more like a statement. It sounded like she was trying to convince herself her daughter was beginning to see the light, and it wouldn't be long before she brought a man home, expressing how silly it was for her to think she was something like a lesbian. Lisa's parents watched her intently, waiting for her answer. Lisa's gaze flickered between them a couple of times. Now was the time for them to say they're joking. That it was time to go home. That they'd never drag her into a church by her wrist again.

That never happened, of course.

"Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom." She mumbled under her breath, brushing past her parents quickly. She could hear them call her name a couple times, but with her better judgement, she decided to act like the chatter within the church kept her from hearing them.

Once she found the bathroom, she rushed to the counter, gripping the edges of it and looking at herself in the mirror. She let out a shaky breath, her knuckles beginning to turn white from holding onto the granite so tightly. 

Why couldn't her parents just be accepting? Why couldn't they be like Seulgi's parents? Sure, it took Seulgi's father awhile to get used to the fact Seulgi was gay, but he adjusted to it eventually and he sure as hell never dragged her to a church in an attempt to purify her. Seulgi's mother didn't look at her differently for a second, the first question she asked not, "Are you sure this isn't a phase?" but instead, "Do you have a girlfriend?" To be normalized in your home in a country that already was ashamed of you must be so beautiful. To have a safe space where you know you aren't judged must be  _so beautiful_.

In this moment, Lisa was angry at Seulgi.

She knew she shouldn't be. She knew it wasn't Seulgi's fault her parents were literally perfect. She knew it wasn't her fault that she could bring home a girlfriend without there being an awkward silence over the dinner table and a, "Pack your bags." 

But God, she was angry.

"Are you okay?" Lisa jumped at the soft voice, one of her hands releasing the countertop and pressing against her chest.

"Jesus Christ!" Lisa paused, looking at the other girl through the mirror.  _Jisoo. The girl whose parents ran the church._ "Oh, sorry?"

Maybe using the Lord's name in vain would get her kicked out. That was really being hopeful, though. 

"No, no. It's fine. But really, are you okay?" Jisoo put a hand over the one that was still gripping the edge and Lisa's hold on it softened a bit.

"Um, yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Lisa removed her hand from under Jisoo's, using both to straighten out her shirt.

"You're Lisa, right? My parents told me about you before church started." Jisoo offered a kind smile, stepping back a little to give Lisa space.

Lisa nodded and let out a big breath, leaning back on the counter slowly.

"I'm Jisoo." She offered a hand and Lisa shook it lightly, bowing her head and shaking it slightly to get out of whatever "I'm pissed my parents are homophobic and the church daughter is standing right in front of me and I can't tell if her mother was trying to tell me she's gay or she's super homophobic in reality too" funk she was in.

"Ah, I'm sorry, Jisoo. I'm just having a very weird day today. I promise I'm not usually like this." Jisoo squeezed her hand in response to Lisa's confession, rubbing the pad of her thumb over her soft skin slowly.

"You're okay, I promise. You don't have to leave here until you've calmed down. The church is always open during the day, so you won't be rushed." Lisa smiled at her gratefully, squeezing Jisoo's hand in return once more before letting it go.

Jisoo was so good at comforting. Lisa wondered if a lot of people struggling with their parents accepting their sexuality came close to a breakdown in the bathroom and Jisoo was always there.

"Thank you, really. It means a lot. I should probably get going, though. My parents are waiting for me outside." Lisa turned to exit, but paused when she felt thin fingers wrap around her wrist.

"Let them wait." Jisoo let go when it was clear Lisa wasn't going to leave. "Listen... I know the whole idea of church is scary when you haven't been before, which I'm assuming that's what's happening, but I hope you return, Lisa. If anything, the choir is the most accepting out of everyone. Everyone's close in age so we get along really well. Do you sing?"

Lisa's eyes widened slightly and she shook her head.  _She did, but Jisoo didn't need to know that._

"No, I'm tone deaf."

_No, she wasn't._

"We don't have as many members as we'd like. All we have is me, Irene, Woozi, Seungkwan, Yeri, Joy, Wendy, Wonwoo, and Rosé. The church has great acoustics, but we'd appreciate a larger sound. Irene and Yeri are altos, me, Joy, Wendy, and Rosé are sopranos, Woozi and Seungkwan are tenors, and Wonwoo is a bass. Wonwoo has a loud and distinctive voice, so we aren't necessarily worried about adding more basses, but with all the sopranos, it'd be nice to have more of an alto presence." Lisa nodded as Jisoo spoke, really trying her hardest to not run out of the door. Jisoo trying to convince her to join a church choir seemed more tolerable than listening to her parents say absolutely anything so she decided to stay put.

She couldn't help but try and put a name to the face of the girl with pink hair.

"I appreciate it, I do. I just don't think it's my thing."

_It was her thing._

"Are you sure? We'd love to have you, Lisa."

"Yes, I'm sure."

_No, she wasn't._

"Okay, well... Here, just in case you change your mind." Jisoo pulled out her phone and handed it to Lisa, who hesitantly took it and opened up the contacts application. She typed in her number, saving it under ' _Lalisa M_.'

"Lalisa? Is that your full name? It doesn't sound Korean. I've been meaning to ask you where you're from." Jisoo asked once Lisa handed her phone back and Lisa nodded.

"Yes, it is. I'm from Thailand. I moved here a very long time ago, though. Better opportunities and whatnot." Lisa waved her hand dismissively.

"Ah, I understand. You know, maybe if you hung out with everyone, you'd reconsider." Jisoo suggested and Lisa raised her eyebrows slightly. The raven haired girl smiled widely, taking Lisa's facial expression as a look of consideration. "Come on, Lisa! It'd be so fun. If you wanna bring someone to make you more comfortable, you can."

Maybe if Seulgi was there, it wouldn't be half bad. If she were to get put in an uncomfortable situation, at least she'd have her best friend there to defend her and pull her out.

"Okay, fine." Jisoo squealed at Lisa's response and rushed towards her, taking her in a hug. Lisa laughed, returning it tightly. "This is  _not_ a yes to the choir, Jisoo. Don't get too excited."

She decided she liked Jisoo. Maybe.

"I don't even care! It's rare someone tolerable comes strolling through the church for the first time. Usually first timers are super judgmental because they've seen better, or something like that." Jisoo pulled back from Lisa, holding her by her arms, her grip almost as tight as her hug, but equally relaxing. "I'm gonna let you get back to your parents now, okay? Whenever I figure out plans with everyone else, I'll text you."

Lisa nodded. She would never admit it to herself, but she never wanted someone to mean something they said so badly until Jisoo promised her plans.

"I'll be seeing you." Lisa offered one final wave, turning around and exiting the bathroom.

She found her parents immediately, who were looking at her expectantly.

She sighed, making her way over to them, the joy she had from speaking to Jisoo ultimately vanishing.

"What took you so long?" Lisa's stepfather asked, turning so everyone would follow him out the door.

"I met Jisoo. She talked to me about joining the choir and hanging out with everyone." She played with her fingers and looked down at her feet as she walked.

"You should do it, Lisa. It'd give you something to be proud of."

Lisa bit her tongue. There were many things she was already proud of, but she nodded anyway.

"I'll think about it."

Lisa plugged her earphones in as soon as she got in the car and leaned her head against the window.

She didn't expect her parents to act like this, at least not to this extent. Her stepfather practically raised her alongside her mother. He was the closest thing to a father Lisa had ever had. Well, before Lisa came out. Ever since she was little, they had dinner together every night. Her stepfather being a professional chef eliminated the need to go out and eat or order something in. The dinner table was always one of Lisa's favorite spots, not only for the food, but for the lively evenings with her family. The laughter, the smiles, and the love was something she could never recreate. Now, it was silent, and sometimes, Lisa would walk downstairs to her parents eating without her, and it broke her heart.

But there was nothing she could do about it, at least not now.

Lisa sighed and closed her eyes, focusing on the gentle beats coming from the speakers of her earphones.

" _All of this is no coincidence_

_just, just, by my feeling._

_The whole world is different from yesterday_

_just, just with your joy._

_When you called me,_

_I became your flower_

_as if we were waiting._

_We bloom until we ache._

_Maybe it's the providence of the universe,_

_it just had to be that._

_You know, I know._

_You are me, I am you._

_As much as my heart flutters,_

_I am worried._

_Destiny is jealous of us._

_Just like you, I am so scared._

_When you see me, when you touch me._ "

Lisa hummed quietly along to the music, only stopping when her phone buzzed in her lap. She opened her eyes, her eyebrows furrowing at the unknown number on her screen.

_1 new message from: Unknown Number_

_you're in luck! everyone wants to get together tomorrow evening for dinner and karaoke. are you in? :)_

She saved Jisoo's contact and unplugged one of her ears, speaking up for the first time the entire car ride.

"I'm gonna go to Jisoo's tomorrow to hang out with everyone. Seulgi is probably coming with." When she received a single nod from her stepfather, she sighed and plugged her earphone back in, returning her attention back to her phone to respond to Jisoo.

_1 new message to: Jisoo_

_sounds good :) i'm bringing my friend, seulgi. you'll love her_

When the car pulled up to a stop outside her house, she quickly got out.

"I'll be home in a little while." She made her way to Seulgi's, hoping to her lucky stars her parents wouldn't yell at her to turn around and come inside.

Luckily enough, she heard the slam of her front door before she even had the chance to knock on Seulgi's. There was no doubt she'd be forced into a conversation about church when she got home, but it could wait. Seulgi knowing about her eventful morning couldn't.

She knocked twice before Seulgi's brother opened the door.

"Hey, bud." Lisa smiled, ruffling the top of his head.

"Hi, Lisa. Seulgi is in her room." Seulgi's brother stepped to the side, flattening his hair out, earning a laugh from Lisa.

Lisa made her way upstairs quickly, her feet barely making any noise as they hit the ground. She opened Seulgi's door, a small squeal coming from Seulgi's lips.

" _Jesus,_ Lisa. Can you either knock or gain some weight so I can hear you coming?" Seulgi closed her laptop, sitting up straight. "How was church?"

"It was interesting. I mean, it wasn't bad, I guess. It was pretty inside and I met this girl named Jisoo, who was super nice. She invited the both of us to hang out tomorrow and I said we would." Lisa looked at Seulgi, giving her a hesitant smile. "You don't really have a choice, so."

"Please, Lisa. You think I'd let you get trapped in a room full of Jesus freaks by yourself?" Seulgi rolled her eyes and Lisa pushed her playfully.

" _Hey_! Be nice. I don't think they're bad. Jisoo isn't at least. She told me everyone in the choir was young and open-minded."

"We'll have to see for ourselves, but don't worry, I'll protect you."

Lisa snorted.

"What?" Seulgi raised her voice, Lisa laughing in response.

"You're not intimidating whatsoever."

"Oh, shut up." Lisa opened her mouth to respond but was cut off by her phone buzzing in her lap.

Again.

Again.

And again.

"Are you gonna pick it up or are you just gonna keep staring at it like it's gonna answer itself?" Seulgi looked from Lisa to her phone, gesturing one of her hands towards it in attempt to get the other girl to hurry up.

"It's Jisoo." Lisa accepted the FaceTime call, staring at the word 'connecting...' flash across her screen. Seulgi scooted up next to her and leaned her head on her shoulder.

" _Hi Lisa! Joy! Come here._ " Jisoo's voice rang throughout the room. Lisa raised her eyebrows in question, Seulgi trying to get a better view of the phone screen as a girl with long black hair sat herself on top of Jisoo.

"Hi Jisoo. This is Seulgi, by the way." She pointed towards the head leaning on her shoulder, the owner of it giving a polite wave towards the camera.

" _A_ _h, hi Seulgi! I assume I'll be seeing you tomorrow?_ " Jisoo asked and Seulgi nodded, Jisoo clapping afterwards. " _Yay! Ugh,_ _Joy, get off me. You're heavy._ " Jisoo groaned, pushing Joy off, who seemed offended by Jisoo's choice of words.

" _Yah, Jichu! You don't have to be rude!_ " Joy pouted, finally turning her attention towards Jisoo's phone.

"Jichu?" Lisa laughed, putting one arm around Seulgi's shoulders and leaning her head against the other girl's.

" _See, Lisa is nice to her friend. Something you apparently can't do._ " Joy teased, picking up the phone from whatever it was propped up against and bringing it closer to her face. " _I'm Joy. Jichu is a nickname we all call her, given to her by Rosé. I'm gonna be there tomorrow but Jisoo had to get me to meet you beforehand because I came over to pick up new sheet music. Completely unnecessary, but whatever. I'm super excited to meet you! I hear it's a possibility you could be making the altos a little louder?_ "

"You what?" Seulgi asked, turning towards Lisa with wide eyes.

"I never said yes! Jisoo just wants me to."

" _I didn't want to either, but here I am._ " Joy flashed her new song towards the camera, both Lisa and Seulgi looking back at the screen. Joy's eyes flickered offscreen and she pulled her arm back slightly, pulling Jisoo in the view.

" _I think my parents just got home, so I'm gonna go. I'll text you my address in the morning, Lisa!_ " Jisoo and Joy waved, Lisa and Seulgi mirroring them.

All four said goodbye and Jisoo hung up, Lisa dropping her phone on Seulgi's comforter afterwards.

"She was pretty." Seulgi said and Lisa scoffed.

"Who? Jisoo?"

"Well, yeah. Obviously. But Joy was like... Pretty."

"Goodbye."

Seulgi laughed and shook her head.

"Don't worry. I won't be interested in any straight church girls."

Lisa stood from Seulgi's bed, giving her a pointed look.

"Right, okay. My parents probably want me home, but if I need you, I'll yell through the window or something." Lisa leaned down to give Seulgi a quick hug, taking a deep breath before she walked out.

She really hoped her parents would drop it. She hoped that she could just be friends with Jisoo, maybe Joy, and maybe the rest of them without having to return to that church. Jisoo was so nice, she really was, but Lisa couldn't help but wonder if that was enough to keep a place like church tolerable. She never imagined it was before.

Lisa opened her front door quietly, sneaking in as slow as possible in hopes of avoiding conversation with her parents.

Of course it didn't work. Luck wasn't in Lisa's favor lately.

"Lisa?" She heard her mom's voice.

Lisa really hated the fact annoyance and anger crept through her veins when she saw her mother's face. She used to be her best friend. She was the one who was home all the time, her stepfather gone most days to cook for big shot Korean idols. Lisa used to tell her everything and she didn't have to worry about her mom looking at her like she was insane. Like she was disgusting. She missed when she'd come home from school to a brand new scrapbook on her bed. That was one of her mother's most precious hobbies.

"Yes?" She walked into the kitchen and her mother turned towards her.

"I'm sorry." Lisa froze.

"Okay."

"I'm doing this because I love you."

"Okay."

"I just want the girl I raised to come back, you know?" Lisa closed her eyes. "You've changed so much."

"Okay. Are we done now?" Lisa spoke through her teeth.

She was not weak. She was not going to cry in front of a woman who claimed to love her but won't respect her for who she was.

"Lisa..." She began but Lisa raised one hand up. It was getting so difficult to respect someone who didn't return it.

"I'm proud of who I am. I'm proud of having someone like Seulgi in my life and I'm proud of the work I do everyday to keep myself happy. I'm proud of having the courage to be honest with you after feeling suffocated for years. There's nothing else to it." Lisa cleared her throat and shuffled her way out of the kitchen, choosing to ignore her name being called for her own good.

When Lisa reached her room, she shut the door behind her and fell back on her bed, staring up at the ceiling. Her hands intertwined over her stomach and her eyes shut momentarily.

She wondered if she'd see the girl with pink hair tomorrow.

She sure hoped so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know if this is because i haven't written on archive before but getting 40 hits in 3 hours and supportive comments and bookmarks and kudos makes me so happy. i'm so glad you guys are enjoying it. please don't hesitate to leave recommendations to make my writing better or make the story itself better :) and yes, lisa has an ignorance to christianity, specifically catholicism, so please don't be offended by the generalizations she makes early on in the story if you are religious. it is a part of her character (also credits to karla for helping me write this chapter and making corrections to my last one) (also again. i strongly recommend you listen to intro: serendipity by bts. it's the song i quoted towards the end of the chapter. i don't really stan boy groups but that song is kpop excellence)


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, Lisa was terrified.

Somehow, she had let the fact she was going to be around more than enough church goers, including the family who ran it, while she was excruciatingly homosexual, slip her mind.

It really began to settle in when Jisoo fulfilled her promise of texting Lisa her address, reminding her to be there at 7:30.

"It's gonna be fine, Lisa. You know the younger generation is much better with acceptance. Who said you had to say anything about your sexuality, anyway? I don't plan on announcing mine to anyone." Seulgi's voice echoed from the bathroom. Mid-panic, Lisa decided to run over to Seulgi's house while Seulgi was conveniently in the shower.

"What if they start talking about gay people? Or anyone from the LGBT community? Are we just supposed to sit there? In the closet?" Lisa sat on the edge of Seulgi's bed, deciding to give her legs a rest from all the pacing she had been doing.

"Of course not, Lisa. But I really doubt that will happen. You told me Jisoo told you they were all cool." Seulgi shut the shower off and Lisa heard a quiet shuffle for towels. Seulgi opened the bathroom door, one towel wrapped around her body and the other wrapped around her wet hair.

As she was shuffling through her drawers for decent clothing, Lisa groaned dramatically, throwing herself back against the bed.

"Okay, but what if-"

"Shut up."

Lisa grabbed one of Seulgi's pillows and threw it in her general direction, Seulgi squealing in response.

"You really wanna knock this towel off of me?" Seulgi asked, picking the pillow off the ground and tossing it back on the bed.

"No, I really don't." Lisa sighed and sat up. "I'm just nervous, Seul."

Seulgi walked over to her bed and sat beside Lisa, giving her knee a light squeeze.

"Do you remember when we were 10 and we snuck outside my room way past our bedtime to lay on the grass in the backyard? It was almost 2 am, and my parents didn't want us out that late because they didn't want the neighbors to hear us screaming and file a complaint? Then my mom came outside because she heard us laughing and you would've gotten in trouble if I hadn't told her I told you I'd make you walk back home if you didn't come with me?" Seulgi smiled as she spoke and Lisa nodded slowly. "I told you when we got back to my room and my mom took my coloring pencils away that I'd always have your back. This isn't as simple as laying down outside, but that doesn't change the fact I'm still gonna be there."

Lisa placed her hand over Seulgi's and let out a long breath.

"Thank you." Lisa didn't need to say anything else, Seulgi standing and going back to rummaging through her drawers for proper clothes.

Lisa let herself think about tonight while Seulgi got dressed. Seulgi helped her relax, but nerves still bubbled in her stomach whenever she thought about meeting everyone. If any of them had a half decent gaydar, she was royally screwed. She was sure she didn't belong in a church, or at least she thought she was, but maybe she belonged in a choir. Maybe she belonged in a place where music was made with no strings attached. Maybe she belonged in that mix of altos, sopranos, basses, and tenors. Then again, maybe she didn't.

"Jisoo has been nothing but friendly towards you. What makes you think that'll stop the moment you step into her house?" Lisa looked up at Seulgi, who was pulling a yellow tank top over her head.

"You're right."

"I know. Plus, that Joy girl seemed really nice too. Her and Jisoo are funny together. Usually homophobes are uptight and boring. And old." Seulgi walked back in her bathroom to get a comb and began getting the tangles out of her wet hair.

"Okay, Seulgi. I get it, you're never wrong."

"Please, I know." Seulgi joined Lisa on the bed once she finished with everything. "We're riding together, right?"

"Duh, you're driving though."

"You think I'm even considering letting you drive when you're nanoseconds away from having a nervous breakdown? Absolutely not." Lisa laughed, her shoulders relaxing further until there was no longer any tension. "Now go home and get ready. You came here without even brushing your teeth. It's gross."

" _It's gross_." Lisa repeated, standing up and making her way towards the door. "I'll be back at 7:15."

Seulgi nodded and fell back against her bed, grabbing her laptop and resting it against her lap.

"Please shower."

* * *

Lisa literally felt like she was going to throw up.

Seulgi found it humorous and Lisa really wanted to hit her.

"Do I really have to go through this conversation with you again?" Seulgi put the car in drive and glanced at the screen on her car console, the directions to Jisoo's house sounding quietly through the speakers.

"Are you seriously not nervous? At all?" Lisa asked, leaning her head back against the seat.

"I mean, I guess? Not for the reasons you are, though. It's always a little nerve-wracking showing up to someone's house you've never met before." Seulgi looked down and noticed they were 10 minutes away. "If anything, I'm excited. You should be too, Lisa." Seulgi paused for a moment, unsure if she should continue. Lisa turned to look at her, slightly confused at her sudden silence. "All we have is each other, Lisa. I had friends in high-school but I never bothered to hang out with them outside of school. I had one girlfriend, but she was older and left before things even began to get serious. I have never trusted anyone like I trust you and I never will, but don't you think we should at least try? It would be nice for it to be more than us sometimes, you know?"

Lisa kept silent for a few minutes, her eyes never leaving Seulgi.

"You're freaking me out." Seulgi spoke up again, turning on Jisoo's street.

"You're right." Lisa looked away, spotting a house with around five cars parked out front. "Let's do this."

Seulgi smiled and parked the car, reaching over and squeezing Lisa's shoulder once before getting out.

Lisa took a deep breath and followed Seulgi to the front door. She squeezed in between the tightly packed cars and took a good look at Jisoo's house.

Jisoo's parents had to have had a well paying job, besides the church of course. From the outside, the house was beautiful, and the two girls that yet to have knocked couldn't even imagine how it looked on the inside.

Lisa raised her hand and knocked twice, Seulgi looking at her impressed.

"Wow, look at you making progress!" Lisa pushed her playfully and rolled her eyes in response.

The door suddenly opened and Lisa looked up to meet Jisoo's kind eyes. Again. Jisoo smiled widely and pulled Lisa in for a hug, doing the same to Seulgi soon after.

"Lisa! Seulgi! Come in! We're all setting up for karaoke in the living room. My parents are at the church right now helping with a food drive so don't be afraid to sing as loud as you want." Jisoo stepped to the side and Lisa and Seulgi walked in, seven pairs of eyes turning towards them as their feet hit the hardwood floor.

Who Lisa recognized as Joy walked towards them, giving them a kind greeting and expressing how great it was to finally meet them.

And damn, she was tall.

"Please, come meet everyone! Rosé just went to Jisoo's room to look for an extra microphone but should be down any second now." Lisa and Seulgi removed their shoes, leaving them at the door and making their way towards everyone else.

They all bowed their heads in greeting as quick and simple introductions were made, everyone ready to begin karaoke. Lisa really tried her hardest not to be intimidated because apparently Jisoo couldn't live without having painfully attractive friends.

It wasn't working.

As it became clear Lisa was getting a bit nervous, Seulgi reached over and squeezed her hand. She let go a couple seconds after, just holding on long enough to reassure Lisa that Seulgi was there with her and wasn't going anywhere.

Lisa smiled and turned her attention back to the crowd of people in front of her who were now all spread around on Jisoo's long and curved couch, which apparently reclined, Lisa noticed as Irene and Wendy got comfortable, Irene's head leaning on Wendy's shoulder. Lisa met Jisoo's gaze as she looked between her and Seulgi curiously, snapping out of it quickly when audible footsteps made their way down the stairs.

"Ah, sorry Jisoo. I couldn't find this to save my life." Lisa turned when she heard a light and airy laugh.

 _Holy shit_.

Of course it was the girl with the pink hair. Lisa noticed she didn't get introduced to her a few minutes ago and she expected her to show up eventually, but  _God_ , a short warning would've been nice.

It was silent for a few seconds, Lisa too busy staring at who she assumed was Rosé to really say anything.

She ignored the voice in the back of her head that was telling her Rosé was staring too.

Seulgi broke the silence, all too familiar with Lisa's freeze-up mode when she saw a pretty girl.

"Hi, I'm Seulgi. It's so nice to meet you. This is Lisa." Lisa blinked a few times and cleared her throat, bowing her head apologetically as she mumbled her greetings.

 _Holy shit_.

"I'm Rosé. It's so nice to meet you both. Jisoo was telling me about you, Lisa. I saw you briefly when you went to church yesterday, but it's so nice to actually.. See you, you know. You too, Seulgi. Joy-unnie told me how pretty you were on the way here." Rosé talked a lot.

Lisa decided she didn't mind.

"Yah, Chaeyoung! Come on, we have to start soon and we won't get anywhere with your rambling!" Joy butted in and Lisa laughed, Rosé turning to stick her tongue out at the raven-haired girl.

"Okay, guys. Drinks are in the kitchen. Please help yourselves. Let's get singing, yeah?" Jisoo took the extra microphone from Rosé and plugged it into her, rather large, speaker. Everyone lounged on the couch sat up straighter, Wendy and Irene whispering one last thing to themselves before putting the recliner back down and straightening themselves up. Joy plopped down between Yeri and Woozi, Yeri groaning due to the fact half of Joy's body landed on her thigh.

"I say the newcomers sing first, yeah? A duet?" Wonwoo suggested and Lisa's eyes widened a little bit, Seulgi having the complete opposite reaction beside her and nodding excitedly. 

"Lisa and I have been obsessing over a song recently.." Seulgi trailed off and plugged her phone in to the karaoke system, the television in front of them all reflecting her phone screen. 

Lisa took a deep breath and grabbed both of the microphones, handing one to Seulgi once she finally found a karaoke version of the song she was looking for.

She figured she might as well do it without protest. Nothing was more nerve-wracking than doing something vulnerable like singing in front of a bunch of strangers, and well, Jisoo. It was a hell of a way to break the ice, she had to admit.

"Careful guys, don't do too good or Jisoo will rope you in the choir and you won't even have a chance to argue." Joy warned them both and Jisoo eyed her playfully.

"Joy wasn't that good and I still let her in. So." All of them laughed, including Lisa, who covered her mouth with her hand to try and suppress it. It ended up coming out more like a snort and everyone laughed louder.

"Lisa! You're supposed to be on  _my_ side!" Joy crossed her arms and leaned back against the leather couch cushions, a small pout on her face. 

"She's not nice enough for that." Seulgi wrapped one of her arms around Lisa's shoulders and Lisa pushed her off almost immediately, scrunching up her face in disgust.

"Joy, Jisoo, stop arguing and let them sing! I wanna hear!" Rosé whined and Lisa had to press her lips together to not break out in a smile.

 _Thinking some straight church girl is cute. Classic, Lisa._ She thought to herself, curbing the urge to shake her head at herself.

Seulgi pressed play on her phone and they both closed her eyes once the background vocals filled the room, humming along quietly so they could get the pitch correct.

Lisa inhaled a deep breath and started off the song.

" _You don't even know what to say._

_I'll just continue to blink._

_You were so sweet._

_Sweet time with you and me._ "

Then Seulgi.

" _It's awkward right now,_

_we weren't even drunk._

_Baby baby, baby baby._ "

They continued to alternate through the first verse and the pre-chorus, opening their eyes once the chorus came and singing together, Lisa taking the lower register while Seulgi occupied the higher notes.

" _And you,_

_I'm your girl._

_You,_ _I don't understand._

_Don't always be ambiguous,_

_bing bing bing bing bing._ "

Lisa loosened up a bit, mirroring the arm movements with the arm that wasn't holding the microphone, causing Seulgi to laugh and join her.

" _You_ _,_ _I'm your girl._

 _You,_ _I don't understand._

 _No, no, no, don't tease me._ "

Seulgi dropped her microphone from her mouth, signaling Lisa to take the next part, which Lisa gracefully did.

She was much more confident in soft-rapping than singing anyway.

" _I don't really know._

_What is this meaningless thing?_

_I want the real one,_

_if you change your mind._ "

Lisa almost forgot she was in a room with nine people she had either met once or never before. Singing with Seulgi, or just being with Seulgi at all, had always been her safe space and as each second passed, her confidence grew. As they continued to alternate parts and come back together for the chorus, they did a little bit more dancing, circling each other and breaking notes to giggle.

Once they finished, Lisa blushed deeply as the entire room clapped and cheered while she set the microphone down.

"You guys are so good! Seulgi, I personally was planning to just snag Lisa but after hearing you, I'm afraid I'm gonna have to convince you to join as well." Jisoo stood, continuing to clap. "I mean it. That was amazing. If you're trying to get me to back off, Lisa, it's not working."

Both Lisa and Seulgi thanked Jisoo continuously, moving towards her long couch and taking a seat. Lisa squished between Wonwoo and Rosé.

She really tried her hardest to ignore the fact that she was so close to Rosé she could smell her flowery perfume. 

When she turned her head to say something to Lisa, it became even harder.

"Do you and Seulgi dance? I know you were messing around up there but it was clear you kinda knew what you were doing. You were really good, by the way." Rosé smiled at her and Lisa thanked her lucky stars she was sitting down because if she wasn't she might've collapsed right then and there.

Lisa ducked her head shyly and nodded.

"Thank you, Rosé. We do. We go to dance class as often as we can. Do you dance?"

Lisa was surprised she was breathing. Her face was  _so_ close to Rosé's.

"Eh, I don't think I'm very good at it." Rosé laughed quietly, her gaze leaving Lisa for a quick moment to make sure Jisoo wasn't waiting for them to finish their conversation so the next person could sing. 

"Hey, I bet you're amazing." 

It was Rosé's turn to look away shyly and Lisa smiled, turning her attention to Jisoo, who was walking towards Rosé and offering her a microphone.

Rosé gave Lisa one last look before standing and taking it, Lisa's gaze dropping to her lap.

Lisa pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and shook her head. 

 _Nope_.

She looked to her right to find Seulgi looking at her, her eyebrows raised slightly.

Lisa mouthed,  _Later_ , and turned her attention to Jisoo and Rosé, who were humming softly to the beat of the song.

Lisa recognized it as a song in English, causing her to sit up straighter to pay closer attention.

" _2 am and I'm still breathing,_

_staring at my thoughts floating up to the ceiling._

_I'm swimming in everything you said._

_I'm thinking 'bout jumping in instead._

_I've got you skinny-dipping deep inside my head_."

Everyone was silent. There was a reason Jisoo and Rosé received the solos during mass. Their voices were intoxicating. Jisoo's lower register and Rosé's higher one was something incomparable to anything else, and they knew it too. Whenever they melted together, like they did then, it was impossible to do anything else but  _listen_.

Once Rosé took over on her own, Lisa couldn't look anywhere else.

" _It's in the way you see._

_You know what I need._

_It's in the way that you're holding me,_

_bringing me close._

_You know that I won't let go._

_You've got me on repeat,_

_you've got me in a dream._

_I let my worries go as soon as you come through the door,_

_thinking 'bout what it'd be like to be yours._ " 

Lisa's lips parted as she listened.

When Jisoo came in to take the next part, Lisa blinked slowly a few times and snapped out of it, clearing her throat as quietly as she could and forcing herself to look at Jisoo.

 _Absolutely not_.

Jisoo and Rosé came together again before they split off for the following verses.

They finished after a few more minutes, everyone cheering just as they did with Lisa and Seulgi. Rosé made her way back to her seat next to Lisa while Jisoo scrolled through her phone for a few seconds.

"Okay, guys. We have time for a couple more songs before the food gets here. I hope everyone's fine with take-out. Sound good?" Jisoo asked, everyone responding by giving nods of approval.

Woozi and Seungkwan got up to sing next.

Then Yeri. Lisa was very impressed to find out she wrote and composed her own music.

Lisa felt her phone buzz in her back pocket and she reached behind her, careful not to bump into either of the people next to her, and almost scoffed when she saw it was a message from Seulgi.

_i can't believe you were teasing me about thinking joy was pretty when you literally will not stop making googly eyes at rosé_

Lisa rolled her eyes and looked at Seulgi, who covered her mouth with the palm of her hand to conceal the laugh that was threatening to come from her lips.

_3 new messages to: seulgi_

_no one is making googly eyes fuck off_

_you've been flirting with joy ever since we got here_

_and i'm not you i don't have a thing for straight girls... stupid_

Lisa saw Seulgi roll her eyes in return and shake her head.

_3 new messages from: seulgi_

_i'm flirting with joy? you guys were literally sitting over there blushing about god knows what_

_you're stupid_

_stupid_

Lisa put her phone back and turned to Seulgi, mouthing 3 words to her once she returned her gaze.

" _I hate you_."

Seulgi laughed quietly and blew a kiss at Lisa, who made sure to dodge it, then mouthed something back.

" _No, you don't._ "

Lisa quietly mocked what she said, looking away once a few knocks sounded at the door.

Rosé got up from beside her, offering to help Jisoo with the food, which Jisoo gratefully accepted.

Lisa used the opportunity to stand and walk over to Seulgi, who used one of Lisa's long arms to pull herself to her feet.

"You're annoying, you're aware of that, right?" Lisa asked, stepping to the side to let Wonwoo and Woozi through, who walked into Jisoo's kitchen and began grabbing plates for everyone.

Seulgi shrugged.

"If you hadn't had made googly eyes, there would be no reason for me to be annoying." Lisa pushed Seulgi's shoulder, causing her to almost fall back on the couch, right onto the cuddling mess that was Irene and Wendy.

Seulgi apologized quickly and Lisa laughed, mumbling a small apology as well.

Everyone rose from their spots once Jisoo and Rosé brought in the food, sitting on the floor where the plates were arranged in a circle. Jisoo and Rosé put the food in the middle in evenly spaced lines, far apart enough so that everyone could reach from wherever they were sitting. 

As everyone loaded their plates, conversation followed conversation. Lisa talked about where she was from, how she met Seulgi, what her parents did (besides sending her to church for being gay). Yeri talked about her music. Seulgi talked about her dancing. She learned Wendy and Irene had known each other for 10 years and that Wendy immigrated to Seoul from Canada. Wonwoo, Woozi, and Seungkwan used to be in a band before joining the church choir, deciding to call it off after there wasn't any time left for it anymore. Rosé was from Australia, and she proudly spoke in English to show her accent. Jisoo basically made the choir, which didn't surprise Lisa in the slightest. She seemed determined and creative. She believed that if Jisoo wanted it, she certainly got it.

After eating, everyone returned to the couches to continue talking. It seemed so  _natural_ to Lisa. Everyone around her genuinely seemed happy to be there, including Lisa, which felt so good to her considering everything that had happened in the last week or so.

"Excuse me, guys. I'm gonna get some air." Lisa stood and grabbed an unopened water bottle from the table in front of her. She made her way out the front door and closed it behind her, sitting down on the stairs leading up to Jisoo's front porch.

It wasn't a minute before she heard the door open again and footsteps approach her from behind. She looked up to see Jisoo and smiled softly, patting the spot next to her.

"You okay?" She asked once she sat down, resting her arms on her knees.

"Yeah, definitely. Everyone's so nice." Lisa meant it. She really did.

"Then what's bothering you?" Lisa froze a bit, looking over to meet Jisoo's eyes.

Lisa really didn't want to ruin this. She didn't want to ruin this night, especially not her friendship with Jisoo or her potential friendships with everyone else back inside.

"You know, it's okay if you really don't want to join the choir. You don't have to." Jisoo placed a hand on Lisa's bouncing knee.

"It's not that, um, I don't want to join it.." Lisa paused for a moment, her gaze faltering. "There's just a thing that I.. I don't know."

Lisa was so proud of who she was, so why the hell were the words she was trying to say stuck to the roof of her mouth?

"You can trust me, Lisa."

Lisa really hoped she could.

"My parents and I didn't come to the church because we were having a troublesome time finding a church. They, um..." Lisa paused for a moment and cleared her throat. "They took me there because I came out to them... I came out to them as gay."

Jisoo's silence scared the absolute shit out of Lisa. She was almost sure she was about to get thrown out.

"Did you think no one was going to accept you? Is that it?" Lisa nodded slowly at Jisoo's question, still avoiding eye contact.

Lisa looked at her again when Jisoo began laughing, not sure whether to be offended or confused.

"Lisa, you're too oblivious for your own good." Jisoo said in between laughs, Lisa tilting her head to the side in confusion. "Irene and Wendy are literally dating. They've been dating for 5 years." Lisa almost choked.

She had to be joking.

"Joy didn't wanna join for the same reason you don't, I'm assuming. She didn't want to be judged by a bunch of church kids." Jisoo paused for a moment, allowing Lisa to take in the fact that she was worried about homophobia when clearly half the fucking choir was gay. "And, um.. My girlfriend was supposed to come tonight." She admitted shyly and it took every bone in Lisa's body to not lose her shit.

"Your girlfriend?" Lisa asked quietly.

"Yeah." Jisoo nodded, smiling to herself. "We've only been together a couple of months. Her name's Jennie. She was gonna come but she got really sick last minute. My dad doesn't know, but my mom does. She's accepting. We're not exactly sure about my father."

"Oh my God." Lisa buried her head in her hands and began laughing. As each second passed, it got louder and more intense.

"Lisa.." Jisoo began and Lisa put one of her hands up, signaling her to stay quiet.

" _Jisoo._ I was on the edge of an anxiety attack all day because I literally thought you were gonna kick me out if you found out I was gay." Lisa said once she caught her breath from laughing so much.

"Definitely not." Jisoo laughed quietly and leaned her head on Lisa's shoulder. "So... Are you and Seulgi dating?"

Lisa snorted.

"Oh my God, Jisoo. No. Absolutely not. We've just been friends for a very long time."

"Oh, well that's good."

Lisa looked at the top of Jisoo's head and Jisoo looked up at her at the sudden movement.

"What do you mean?"

"You were looking at Rosé funny."

Lisa stood up suddenly, red tinting her cheeks.

"You and Seulgi are insane." She responded, taking a quick drink of her water.

"I'm just glad you weren't emotionally cheating or something." Jisoo stood up as well and walked towards her front door. She paused with her hand on the doorknob. "I do have to warn you though. Rosé... She's straight."

Lisa wasn't disappointed. She wasn't. She already knew this.

"I told you, Jisoo. Insane."

Jisoo raised her eyebrows and opened the door, the sound of chatter much louder than before. Lisa followed Jisoo back in and took a moment to look around.

Wendy and Irene were listening to Seungkwan tell a story about his childhood and Lisa smiled at the sight of the couple's pinkies overlapping each other's. Joy and Seulgi were seated on the couch talking, their legs curled up under them and their heads resting against one of their arms. Yeri and Woozi were watching something on Yeri's phone, which Woozi seemed very interested in. Wonwoo stood close by them, listening in. Rosé was lightly strumming a guitar she dug out of somewhere, her pink hair falling over her face as she studied the strings. Her lips were pursed in concentration, and Lisa could tell when she strummed incorrectly. Rosé's lips would part in a frustrated sigh before pressing back together again.

"Looking at her funny." Jisoo whispered in Lisa's ear and Lisa jumped, putting one hand over her quickly beating heart.

"Insane."

Lisa looked away from Jisoo and back to Rosé, who conveniently looked up at the same time, the two making eye contact.

Rosé's lips parted again and she gave Lisa a small wave, which Lisa returned with a soft smile.

Jisoo prodded her side gently and Lisa slapped her hand away, earning a laugh from the older girl.

"Hey, Jisoo?"

"Hm?"

"Give me until tomorrow to decide if I'm joining or not, yeah?"

Jisoo smiled widely and nodded, pulling Lisa in for a quick hug.

"Of course."

Lisa couldn't help but peek at Rosé one last time while Jisoo wasn't looking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone :) sorry for the late update, i've been busy. if anyone would like to put a video to lisa staring at rosé while she's singing, here you go https://twitter.com/lsloops/status/1015934217979432960 (someone mentioned they wanted my chapters to be longer so i worked to make this chapter longer and its about the same length as 1 and 2 combined wmskxkx i cant believe this)


	4. Chapter 4

Once Lisa and Jisoo parted, Lisa hesitantly made her way towards Rosé, who was the only one alone in the room, Jisoo now making simple conversation with Joy and Seulgi.

"What are you playing?" She asked quietly, hoping to not disturb her. She seemed so focused and serene, as if her and the guitar were the only ones in the room.

Rosé's strumming paused again and she looked up, her lips forming a small pout.

"I'm supposed to be playing an acoustic guitar version of this one song by EDEN, but it's not going very well." She laughed quietly and Lisa sat down on the couch next to her, giving her enough space so that the neck of the guitar wouldn't hit her. "It's easy for the first half of the song, but then it's not."

"Ah, you like EDEN? I love his music!" Lisa turned her body towards Rosé and pulled her legs up so they were folded underneath her. Rosé did the same, appearing excited that someone had a mutual love for an artist she clearly adored.

"Really? I honestly haven't met many people who have even heard of him. Jisoo listens to him, but pretty much because I forced her to at one point. I think she passed it on to Irene, though." Rosé hugged the guitar close to her chest, her chin resting on the material, and looked at Lisa.

It made Lisa a little nervous.

"What song were you trying to play? Maybe I can help." Lisa's gaze flickered from the guitar to Rosé, whose cheeks were a bit plumper than usual due to her position.

"It's called 'love; not wrong.' Have you heard of it?"

Lisa's eyebrows raised slightly, half surprised and half excited. Of course she had heard of it. It was one of her favorite songs.

"That's my favorite song off of that album!" Lisa smiled widely and Rosé squealed, clapping her hands together.

"Okay, so you know that part that kind of sounds like an electric guitar? I'm trying to duplicate it on my own with this guitar."

"Ah." Lisa said quietly as Rosé moved her guitar so she was holding it like normal again.

Lisa opened her mouth to speak again but was quickly interrupted by Jisoo, who had separated from Joy and Seulgi and took the opportunity to tease Rosé.

"This is a party, Rosie. You can refrain from stealing my guitar for once." She grabbed the arm of the guitar and pulled it away from the other girl, who let out a huff of annoyance.

"You're irritating, you know that right?" Jisoo laughed in response and pushed Rosé playfully, walking upstairs to get rid of the guitar.

"How long have you known Jisoo?" Lisa asked, tilting her head to the side curiously.

"When I was about 14, my parents and I moved here from Australia and Jisoo was the first person I met. She was the president of her class and I was two years below her so she was super intimidating but she made me belong almost instantly..." Rosé paused, a soft smile on her lips. "My Korean was a bit broken, since I only spoke it at home back in Australia, but that never stopped her from talking to me and helping me speak it. Then, she invited me to her church and my parents were really happy I had found a friend so quickly, so they came with me and we've never missed a service since. I'm 21 now, so it's been a long time."

Lisa nodded as she spoke, smiling at Jisoo's kindness. She was happy to know she had always been that way. She had always had a kind and accepting heart.

Although she didn't want to admit it quite yet, choosing whether or not to join the church choir was becoming easier and easier.

"Can I tell you something?" Lisa asked and Rosé's eyebrows furrowed together slightly, nodding softly. "I think I'm gonna join the choir. I don't go to church often..." She pressed her lips together. "Or at all, really. But everyone is so nice, especially Jisoo, and what you just told me confirmed that she can make anyone feel safe in an uncomfortable and new situation, and I'd really like to be around people like that."

Rosé smiled widely and pulled Lisa in for a tight hug. Lisa swore she felt her heart drop and she sincerely hoped her body language didn't reflect the surprise she felt upon being pulled against the pink haired girl's torso. 

"You really should, Lisa. I haven't really said anything about it because I didn't want to pressure you, but Jisoo really likes you. When she told us she invited you to join, some of us were a little apprehensive because we're such a tight group... Everyone would do anything for each other and we weren't sure the type of person you were so we wanted to meet you first, hence tonight. Jisoo told us you belonged before you even got here." Rosé looked at her and smiled reassuringly, Lisa looking at her lap shyly.

"I'll think about it, Rosé. I really will." She returned her gaze to the girl in front of her. 

"Good. And in case you were wondering, I think everyone else really likes you too." The smile never left Rosé's lips and Lisa thought she might pass out.

Lisa felt her cheeks heat up, and she wasn't sure if it was because of what Rosé said or the intensity of her gaze.

Either way, she was embarrassed.

When Rosé excused herself to the kitchen, Lisa leaned back on the soft couch cushions. She closed her eyes and let out a soft breath.

She felt the cushion next to her sink and she opened her eyes, expecting Rosé, but instead seeing her best friend.

"Having fun?" Seulgi asked and Lisa leaned her head on her shoulder, nodding against the material of her shirt.

"Duh, just getting a little sleepy. What about you? _How's Joy_? _"_ Seulgi didn't miss the teasing tone that laced Lisa's last question and pushed her off of her body, giving her a playful glare.

"I don't know, Lisa. How's Rosé?" Lisa rolled her eyes, returning the glare Seulgi gave her moments before.

"I'm great." Lisa looked up to see said-girl glancing between her and Seulgi. She cleared her throat, almost uncomfortably, and returned to her seat beside Lisa, her nimble fingers wrapped around a glass of water.

Lisa's head almost shot off of Seulgi's shoulder, sitting up straight. 

She felt an uncomfortable feeling bubble within her stomach. Rosé wasn't mad, was she? After Jisoo assured Lisa everyone here was accepting, she couldn't have been an exception, right?

Rosé knew how it felt to be an outsider. She knew how it felt to be placed somewhere where she didn't feel like she belonged with a bunch of people around her that knew nothing about her, but still had the free will to judge her. 

So there was  _no_ way seeing Lisa cuddled up to Seulgi made her feel sick. There was no way Rosé, someone who hadn't missed church in 7 years, didn't accept gay people.

Lisa shook her head.

She was overreacting. 

Jisoo was gay. Rosé's best friend was gay. So were a plethora of other people in the room.

She decided to brush it to the side. It was stupid. Just because her parents looked at her and Seulgi funny didn't mean everyone else did.

It was fine.

"You okay?" Seulgi whispered to her and Lisa nodded.

"I'm fine."

Seulgi gave Lisa's hand a gentle squeeze and stood up, making her way to another small group of people, this time being Wendy and Irene.

Lisa guessed it made sense that people thought her and Seulgi were a thing. Her parents, Jisoo, and Seulgi's parents for a month or so after Seulgi came out, and maybe Rosé, thinking they were dating made some sort of sense. They never went a week without staying over at the other's house. Seulgi was extremely overprotective of Lisa during school when the rumors began to float around. Lisa was naturally touchy and Seulgi wasn't, but she let it happen with Lisa since they had known each other for so long. They had been attached at the hip since Lisa moved from Thailand, so it wasn't  _that_ crazy that people assumed they were together.

But they weren't, and they both couldn't see themselves doing so. They never took part in the rite of passage there seemed to be for childhood best friends to date just to see if anything was there. The idea of dating made them both uncomfortable. Even if it didn't, Lisa assumed the idea of losing each other would defeat any want for something more.

And there was the fact that the idea of dating each other not only made them uncomfortable- it literally made them gag.

A few people began filing out, deciding it was getting too late and they were getting too tired.

"I should probably get going." Rosé stood and placed her empty glass on the table in front of her, wiping her hands clean of condensation from the glass on her jeans. "It was really nice to meet you, Lisa. Jisoo wasn't wrong about you, and I hope I see you soon."

"You will." Rosé smiled at her response and gave a small wave, making her way over to Jisoo to say goodbye.

Lisa then found Seulgi, who was saying her goodbyes with Joy, which involved the exchange of numbers, and she really tried her best not to let out an laugh.

"Don't even say it." Seulgi mumbled under her breath and Lisa let out the laugh she had been suppressing, walking out of Jisoo's front door shoulder against shoulder.

Lisa and Seulgi were careful not to stand in front of someone else's parting car as they made their way to their own.

"Okay... So I know you told me not to say it, but.." Lisa began once they got in the car and Seulgi groaned, hitting her head on the steering wheel in front of her. "Aw, does Seul have a crush?" She teased, reaching over and giving one of Seulgi's plump cheeks a squeeze.

"No, stupid." She swatted Lisa's hand away. "I told you, I'm not going after some church girl."

"Well..." Lisa mumbled, remembering her conversation with Jisoo on her porch.

Seulgi peeked over one of her arms, her head still on the steering wheel.

"What?"

"I don't know if it's my place to tell..." Lisa began and Seulgi sat up straight, looking at her expectantly.

"I'm not moving this car until you tell me."

"I was talking to Jisoo for awhile tonight and she kind of insinuated that Joy wasn't straight. I mean, I don't think I was reading it wrong... I told her I was gay and she assumed that was why I was so hesitant about everything and she told me that Joy was the same way. I guess that's why I'm getting such a kick out of making fun of you." Lisa looked over to Seulgi once she finished talking, surprised to see her speechless.

"Oh, well." Seulgi cleared her throat and put the car in drive. "That's cool."

Lisa snorted.

"You're such a dork."

" _Shut up_ , Lisa." Seulgi's cheeks turned bright red and Lisa cooed, jutting her bottom lip out.

"Little Seulgi does have a crush, huh?"

"Do you really wanna walk home? Because it sounds like you do." Seulgi sneered and Lisa laughed again.

She thought it was cute that Seulgi was getting flustered. She obviously found Joy attractive, just as everyone else did, and the flirting Lisa assumed she had been doing at Jisoo's house seemed harmless. That is, until she realized Joy wasn't straight and it was possibly a bigger deal than she thought it was.

"Seulgi and Joy sitting in a tr-"

Lisa squealed when the palm of Seulgi's hand made contact with her bare arm.

"You are the most annoying person on this planet." Seulgi said as Lisa sat next to her, rubbing the stinging spot on her upper arm.

"But it's  _cute_ , Seulgi. You haven't bothered with anyone since Sunmi and that was literally forever ago."

"Lisa, Joy and I have known each other for approximately, at most, barely, five minutes. It is not that serious- not Sunmi level." Seulgi began driving, keeping her eyes on the road, and Lisa almost felt bad.

"I'm just messing with you, Seul. You get this look on your face when someone messes with you and it's really funny. You can't blame me." Seulgi's face softened up and she turned to Lisa once they pulled up to a red light, a mischievous smile gracing her lips, and Lisa was confused.

"In that case, how's Rosé?" Seulgi raised her eyebrows slightly and Lisa rolled her eyes.

"She's fine and straight, weirdo. This is about you and Joy, who again, is not straight, by the way, getting cozy on Jisoo's couch."

"Getting cozy..." Seulgi repeated, scoffing and continuing to drive as the light turned green. " _Ugh_ , Lisa. I feel like punching you right now, really."

"But you love me."

"But I love you, loser."

They both gave each other a soft smile, Seulgi's eyes turning to the road ahead of her for the remainder of the drive. Lisa tapped her fingers against her leg to the beat of the music, watching the city lights twinkle as she enveloped herself in her thoughts.

Being with Jisoo and all of her friends with Seulgi by her side truly couldn't have gone better. Everyone welcomed her with open arms, a few quite literally, and listened to her when she spoke, which she didn't receive quite often. Apart from Seulgi, of course. 

She wanted the decision of joining the choir to be easy, but as she thought about it more away from the atmosphere filled with the people of the choir, it appeared to be more complex. She liked the people and she liked the idea of music bringing everyone together, no matter the mindset of their beliefs, but what if it was to all go wrong? What if Jisoo's father found out she was gay and banned her from the church? What if she ended up not living up to everyone's standards like they thought she did from the few hours they spent together? What if she wasn't good enough, just as she hadn't been for her parents?

It was stupid. Lisa knew it.

But it was so much more than choir. It was opening her heart to beliefs she might not agree with. It was opening her heart to the one thing her parents dragged her into. She didn't want to give her parents the satisfaction of knowing she was actually going through with something they forced upon her. She didn't want them to win.

But Jisoo, Irene, Wendy, Yeri, Joy, Seungkwan, Woozi, Wonwoo, and Rosé made Lisa want to give her parents the victory. Maybe she could take her parents boasting about how they felt like Lisa was finally making the right decisions and how it was all credited to them. Maybe.

"Are you staying the night?" Seulgi asked once they pulled up to her house, snapping Lisa out of her thoughts.

"Yeah. My parents would probably get mad at me for making noise and getting into the house this late at night anyway." She opened the door and got out, stretching her arms over her head and yawning quietly.

Seulgi got out as well and wrapped her arm around Lisa's shoulders as they walked up to her front door, rubbing her eyes with her free hand.

"Who knew I'd be so tired after a few hours of actually having plans for once?" Seulgi laughed quietly and let them in, closing and locking the door behind them.

"Hi, girls. Have fun?" Both Seulgi and Lisa visibly jumped at the sound of Seulgi's father's voice. He was sitting at the kitchen table, having a late night drink with his glasses resting on the bridge of his nose and a paperback novel in his hand.

"Yes, sir." Lisa smiled and walked over, giving him a hug.

More often than not, he had always appeared to Lisa as another father figure, especially for the past week, as he had shown his unwavering support.

"Goodnight, Dad. I'll see you in the morning." Seulgi gave him a hug as well, giving him a kiss on the side of the head afterwards.

"Night, Seul. Night, Manoban." He returned his attention to the book in front of him and the two girls made their way upstairs.

Once they reached Seulgi's room, Seulgi tossed Lisa an oversized shirt and the both of them began getting ready for bed, washing their faces and tying their hair up to avoid it getting tangled overnight.

"So, what did you and Jisoo talk about again?" Seulgi asked curiously while her and Lisa brushed their teeth side by side.

"Well, I went outside and she followed me out to make sure I was okay. She told me I could trust her so I did, even though I was scared shitless, and I told her I was gay and she told me she was too. Then she mentioned the Joy thing. Then she told me Wendy and Irene had been dating forever, which made sense. They never let go of each other, so I should've picked it up anyway. My gaydar is just garbage lately." Lisa mumbled through her toothbrush and looked over to Seulgi when it appeared she hadn't responded for a couple seconds. "What?"

"So you're telling me that you freaked out over nothing." Seulgi began and Lisa narrowed her eyes at her, quite positive she knew exactly where this was going. "You're telling me that you were overreacting and that I was right."

Yep.

"Seulgi, shut up. That's not the point."

"Say it."

"What? Say what?"

"That I was right."

"No, Seulgi. You're ridiculous."

"Apparently not, considering I was right. Say it."

"No."

"Right now, Lisa. I have to hear it."

Lisa paused for a moment and took the toothbrush out of her mouth, leaning down to wash her mouth out with water. When she came back up, she sighed.

"You were right..." She mumbled under her breath and then an excited, and very overdramatic, Seulgi cheered.

"This is why you have to listen to me, Lisa. You were worried about being judged for being gay but we quite literally went to a big gay party. I called it." Seulgi turned her bathroom light off and Lisa followed her into her bedroom.

"First of all, you didn't call anyone being gay. You just figured out Joy was gay, thanks to me." She walked over to Seulgi's bed and curled up beneath the blankets. "Second of all, not everyone there was gay."

Seulgi laughed and crawled into bed next to Lisa, lying on her back and looking up at the ceiling.

"Give credit where it's due, Lalisa."

" _Give credit where it's due, Lalisa_." Lisa mocked her in a childish tone, turning so she was on her side and curling her legs up towards the upper half of her body.

Seulgi turned her bedside lamp off, the only thing illuminating the room being the small nightlight Seulgi bought a few years ago to ease Lisa's fear of the dark, which she  _swears_ she no longer has.

"Goodnight, Lisa. Love you." Seulgi reached over blindly and gave Lisa's arm a soft squeeze.

"Love you too, Seul." She mumbled quietly, exhaustion taking over her body before she could say anything else.

* * *

Lisa woke up to her phone buzzing the next morning, groaning as she lazily grabbed it from the corner of the bed. 

" _Where are you at_ _?_ " She heard her mother's voice sound through the speakers and she sat up, her eyes still barely open.

"Seulgi's. I didn't want to wake you guys up. I got back late."

" _You need to text me and let me know of your whereabouts. I don't like waking up and not knowing where you are_."

Lisa almost scoffed. She was sure her mom would have rather heard that she was at Jisoo's house with the crosses dawning the walls and the church leading parents in the next bedroom over.

"Okay, sorry. I was just really tired. Seulgi and I wiped out as soon as we got to her house. If I'm not at home, it's pretty safe to assume I'm at Seulgi's." She felt the bed shift and she looked over to Seulgi, whose eyes were swollen from sleep and sensitive to the light coming from her windows. Lisa watched as she shuffled for her glasses, laughing quietly.

" _Be home later_." With that, Lisa's mother hung up and she dropped the phone on her lap.

"Good morning, sunshine." She stood up and stretched, Seulgi sitting across from her and squinting as she adjusted to her specs.

"Good morning." She grumbled and stood up, searching for a pair of shorts to slip on so she could go downstairs and get breakfast. "What time is it?"

Lisa opened her phone again, slightly confused at the Snapchat notifications she received a couple minutes before her mother called her.

_Snapchat (3):_

_k1mjisoo added you!_

_parkchae97 added you!_

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

"Who is.." She mumbled to herself, opening the notifications and adding Jisoo and whoever  _parkchae97_ was.

She opened the picture she received and almost gasped when she recognized the face as Rosé, who had typed a message over the picture she had sent reading, ' _jisoo mentioned jennie to you, right? they want to hang out w u tomorrow. jisoo thinks it's important u meet her_ '

"Lisa?" Seulgi waved her hand in front of her face.

"Huh? What?"

"The time is.."

"Oh. 10:34."

She double-tapped on Rosé's name and snapped a quick picture of the top half of her face.

_Snapchat to parkchae97!_

_[Image attached] yeah, she did. and omg sure i'd love to. park chae, huh?_

"Seriously? We must have been tired." Seulgi threw a pair of shorts towards Lisa, who put her phone down and slipped them over her bare legs.

Lisa picked her phone back up once it buzzed again, quickly opening the response from Rosé.

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_[Image attached] haha yeah :) my birth name is park chaeyoung. i hope u don't think it's weird i added u. jisoo found your snapchat through contacts and sent it to the choir groupchat but i don't think anyone else is up yet_

Lisa laughed quietly and Seulgi looked over to her, raising her eyebrows.

She took another picture of herself, this time of her full face.

_Snapchat to parkchae97!_

_[Image attached] it's not! is jennie feeling better?_

"Who are you talking to?" Seulgi asked, inching closer to Lisa, who instinctively pulled her phone to her chest.

"Um, Rosé?" She backed up slowly.

"I know you're not telling me you're talking to Rosé as if you didn't tease me relentlessly last night for getting Joy's number." She deadpanned.

"Oh, shut up. She added me this morning, along with Jisoo. I didn't even know who it was at first." Lisa walked towards the door, opening it and making a gesture to encourage Seulgi to leave the room with her.

Seulgi's parents and brother were seated downstairs, sitting on the living room couch and giving the two girls greetings as they made their way into the kitchen.

They both poured a bowl of cereal, and as they sat, Lisa opened her phone up again.

_Snapchat (2):_

_Snapchat from k1mjisoo!_

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

She opened Jisoo's first, laughing over her Lucky Charms at the unflattering angle Jisoo purposely sent of herself.

_[Image attached] i'm at a church meeting so that's why i'm trying to hide my phone but i'm so excited you get to meet jennie!!!!_

She reversed the camera so it was facing Seulgi, who gave a thumbs up with her spoon dangling from her mouth, and took a picture, quickly captioning it, ' _me too omg. is it just gonna be us 3 or is everyone else coming too?_ '

She then opened the Snapchat from Rosé, who had sent a picture of her and an unfamiliar face squished together.

_[Image attached] yeah, she said it was just a 24 bug or something. this is her by the way. me, her, and jisoo were supposed to get early lunch but jisoo's parents dragged her to an emergency church meeting so it's just us. she says HI LISA_

Of course Jennie was pretty. Jisoo couldn't have anyone around unless they could qualify for modeling. She also seemed a bit intimidating, her features perfectly chiseled and from what she could see, her outfit was put perfectly together. It was clear she put pride into her appearance, the Gucci t-shirt she was wearing emphasized that.

Lisa turned to the front camera and positioned her hand, that was formed in a peace sign, over her right eye.

"You're being dumb. Just take a picture of your forehead and go." Seulgi spoke through her cereal, which happened to be a common occurrence, so Lisa wasn't even grossed out over the marshmallow falling out of her mouth.

"Shut up, grumpy."

She then added text to her picture, captioning it, ' _tell her i say HI JENNIE_!!!!'

Once Lisa finished her cereal, she washed the bowl out carefully, making sure to not make a mess of the Kang family's sink. Seulgi followed behind her shortly after and Lisa leaned back on the kitchen counter, almost waiting for a response from Jisoo or Rosé.

When it buzzed, she was more than happy to answer.

_1 Snapchat from k1mjisoo!_

_[Image attached] just me, jennie, rosé, and you_

Lisa became noticeably nervous upon the realization that Seulgi wouldn't be there. If she asked, she was sure Jisoo would not hesitate to invite her, but Lisa didn't want to bother her about it.

"You okay?" Seulgi asked, a concerned expression on her features because of Lisa's tense body language.

"Yeah... It's just... Jisoo invited me to hang out with her, her girlfriend, and Rosé, so I'm a little nervous."

"You'll be fine, dummy. Jisoo and Rosé already like you. They both want you in the choir, along with everyone else we met. If a large group of people like you, I'm sure Jisoo's girlfriend will too."

 _The choir_.

Lisa almost forgot she told Jisoo last night that she would give her an answer by today.

"Oh god." Lisa groaned, dropping her head against the palm of one of her hands.

"What now?"

"I told Jisoo I'd let her know if I was joining her choir or not by today... And we're messaging right now so she's probably expecting it soon." She sighed quietly and looked at her phone, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Lisa... I know you think you don't know and that this is the hardest decision you've had to make in awhile, but you know. You know exactly what you want to do. You've known it since last night." Seulgi placed a hand on Lisa's arm and Lisa looked up in response, her bottom lip still between her teeth.

Lisa nodded slowly, hesitantly double-tapping on Jisoo's name to reply. She released her bottom lip, taking a quick picture of herself and typing in silence.

_Snapchat to k1mjisoo!_

_[Image attached] i'm in :) to hanging out with you guys and to joining the choir_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HI EVERYONE! i'm sorry for such a late update. school just started but from now on i'll try and do a weekly or biweekly update. thank you for your patience and support (and woo to chaelisa for actually having a conversation) (also this may be a little short but i really wanted to give you guys an update)


	5. Chapter 5

Lisa wasn't surprised when she received a FaceTime call from Jisoo 10 minutes later.

If she was being honest, she really couldn't understand what the hell Jisoo was saying between her talking so fast and the chatter from everyone in the church.

"Jisoo.  _Jisoo_. Slow down." Lisa laughed quietly, pulling her phone back so Seulgi could get in the frame.

" _Lisa! Are you serious? You're not messing with me, are you? You're really gonna join? Please tell me you aren't joking with me._ " Jisoo had gotten in her car by now, her phone propped up against her dashboard.

"I'm serious." Lisa offered a soft smile once she heard Jisoo squeal.

" _Holy shit. Oh my God. Hi, Seulgi. Oh my God._   _I didn't think you were gonna join!_ " Jisoo seemed to shuffle around quickly, opening every compartment in her car for some kind of information about the choir, Lisa assumed. " _Okay, so. We have hour and a half long rehearsals on Monday, Wednesday, and Thursday nights. If you're lost on the music, you can definitely text anyone or come over to get help. Usually, after a week of rehearsals, we have it down so we spend the rehearsal time just hanging out. Wow, okay. I'll give you the schedule when I see you tomorrow. I'm gonna go meet up with Rosie and Jennie and tell them the good news. Bye, Lisa. Thank you so much._ " 

Lisa didn't even have time to respond before Jisoo hung up. She blinked a few times, admittedly a little stunned.

"Well... She's excited." Seulgi snorted and stood up.

"Now I'm nervous again." Lisa groaned and buried her head in her hands.

"Shut up. You'll be fine. Do you need to go home soon?" Lisa looked up at Seulgi through the cracks of her hands and sighed.

"Yeah, probably. I've been avoiding talking to my parents about literally anything since they took me to church." Lisa stood from the table and began to clean up after herself.

"I'll wash your clothes and take them over to your house later tonight." Seulgi gave her a small side hug, rubbing her waist gently. "Text me if you need anything, yeah?"

Lisa nodded and left the kitchen, thanking Seulgi's parents for allowing her to stay over, in which they happily responded with, "Anytime, Lisa."

She walked out of the front door and practically dragged her feet next-door. 

Lisa really tried her hardest to sneak through the front door quietly, even going to the lengths of taking twenty seconds to slowly shut the door.

Of course it didn't work, because her parents were in the kitchen eating a large breakfast without her.

"Lalisa?" Her step-father called out and Lisa mumbled a small curse under her breath.

"Yes, sir?" She stepped into the kitchen, uncomfortably straightening out the oversized shirt on her torso.

"How was the get together with everyone from church?" He asked, pushing his circular glasses further up his nose.

"It was okay..." She trailed off, looking literally anywhere else but the older man in front of her.

"Are you joining the choir? I really hope you told them you were. Your mother really wants you to." Lisa made short eye contact with her mother and swallowed silently.

She knew she had to tell them. If she didn't, she'd have to find an excuse for her whereabouts three days out of the week for rehearsals and on Sundays for the services she would participate in. 

"Um, yeah. I told Jisoo this morning I was going to."

And that was the first time in over a week she even saw the smallest glimpse of a smile directed towards her from her parents.

Usually, parents being proud of their child's decisions should warm that child's heart, but all Lisa felt was anger.

She knew she needed to be calm.

She knew she needed to take a few deep breaths.

She knew it.

So she quickly excused herself and ran to her room, closing the door behind her a little too roughly, and she knew she'd be yelled at for it later on.

She fell back on her bed and intertwined her fingers over her stomach as she watched her chest move up and down in response to her heavy breathing.

Lisa somewhat felt as if she was overreacting. Maybe she should have been happy that her parents were finally proud of one decision.

But she wasn't and she didn't think she ever would be.

* * *

Lisa found herself locked away in her room for the rest of the day, occasionally talking to Seulgi through the window and stress-cleaning until she was too exhausted to continue.

She had neglected to touch her phone all day, preferring to focus on something else that wouldn't cause her stress.

When she noticed she had missed several phone-calls from both Jisoo and Rosé, she wished she would've at least left her sound on.

She hesitantly dialed Jisoo back, pulling her phone up to her ear.

" _Lisa!_ " She heard Jisoo's voice call to her excitedly and she raised her eyebrows curiously. " _Where have you been? I almost gave your number to Jennie to see if she could get ahold of you too!_ "

Lisa laughed in response and laid down on her bed, her arms propping her upper torso up.

"I've been cleaning my room. What's up?" 

" _Okay, so, I know we said we would hang out tomorrow, but an American style restaurant just opened right down the street from the church and Rosé and Jennie wanna go. I thought you might want to, too? I only noticed it opened this morning when I was leaving the church so this is really out of the blue. Sorry._   _My parents know the owners and they got us reservations on the private rooftop area. I thought it'd be a good, kind of quiet area for you to get to know Jennie._ " Lisa could hear the hopefulness in Jisoo's voice and it made her lips curve into a smile.

It was really nice to have someone put effort into pursuing a friendship with her. She wasn't used to it. The only time someone tried to include her in their group was when Jeon Jungkook would bring her along to hang out with his obnoxiously loud group of friends.

The fact that they were all boys was the first thing that was unsettling to her.

No wonder she didn't like it. She probably should've known by then.

" _Lisa?_ " Jisoo repeated and Lisa mentally cursed herself.

"Oh, shit. Sorry, Jisoo. Of course I'll go. It's okay if I tag along, right?" She stood from her bed and opened her closet, quickly shuffling through it for something to wear.

" _Duh, Lisa. Do you need me to pick you up?_ " 

"Um.." Lisa paused for a moment, deciding on a floral dress. "Is that okay? I'm not sure where it is and I'm rusty on where the church is so I'm not even sure if I'd get that far."

" _Of course it is, dummy. Is an hour enough time for you to get ready?_ "

"Yeah. I'll text you my address, okay?" Lisa laid her dress down on her bed and returned to her closet, bending down to look at her collection of shoes.

" _Ugh, I'm so excited! I'll see you then._ " Jisoo hung upand Lisa sat her phone down in response to the three beeps.

She bit her bottom lip, her eyes flickering between a pair of cream-colored heels and white flats.

She enjoyed making her legs look longer, but she also enjoyed not having aching feet.

It's not like she had anyone to impress.

She just wanted to feel good about herself, that's all.

That's all it was, she decided, when she grabbed the two inch heels.

Nothing else, really.

She picked her phone back up off of the floor and texted Jisoo her address, as promised. 

She then spent the next hour getting ready, a large portion of it being spent trying to get her eyeliner to look decent.

Lisa was putting in earrings when a honk sounded outside, followed by the  _ding_ of her text tone.

She took a deep breath and gathered a purse, checking herself in the mirror one last time before exiting the confinement of her room.

She walked downstairs to see her mother looking through the window, obviously put off by someone besides Seulgi showing up at her house.

"Who are you going out with?" She asked and turned towards her daughter, clearly surprised at the fact Lisa was dressed nicely.

"Jisoo and Rosé." She shifted uncomfortably under her mother's gaze. "Um, and Jennie, Jisoo's... friend."

"Well, you look pretty. I'm glad you're going out with them. I'm sure they're good influences on you." Her mom moved away from the window. Lisa assumed that was her giving her permission to leave and she nodded.

"Thanks. I'll be back soon." Lisa walked out quickly, giving Jisoo a wide smile once she shut the door behind her.

She climbed in the passenger seat and looked behind her.

Jisoo must have noticed her confused facial expression and spoke up before Lisa even had the opportunity to ask.

"Rosé and Jennie are meeting us there. They've been friends for longer than I've known Jennie. Rosé actually introduced us." Jisoo pulled out of Lisa's driveway and Lisa nodded in understanding. "Are you nervous?"

"Well, a little." Lisa laughed softly, her right leg bouncing up and down quickly.

"Aw, Lisa. Don't be. Rosé already likes you. She talked to me about you almost the entire time when we were together this morning. Jennie, admittedly, looks a little intimidating, but she's so sweet. She'll like you. I know it. If she doesn't, I might just have to break up with her." Jisoo teased, gently nudging Lisa's side.

Lisa visibly relaxed and then blinked a few times. She appeared to register the first part of what Jisoo said and ducked her head, a light blush breaking out on her cheeks.

_Nope._

They got there faster than Lisa thought they would.

It made sense, she had to admit. A car ride with anyone else besides her parents was bound to not drag on.

"Ready?" Jisoo asked, pulling her keys out of the ignition.

Lisa nodded and released an anxious breath.

"Ready." She smiled and opened the door, stepping out and adjusting the length of her dress.

"Also, you look great. Putting me to shame, I see." Jisoo walked up beside Lisa and wrapped an arm around her shoulder.

Lisa snorted in response and shook her head.

"Please, Jisoo. You're a freaking supermodel." They walked through the wide doors, Jisoo still holding onto Lisa.

"Just wait until you see my girlfriend." She whispered in her ear and Lisa jutted her bottom lip out.

If Jisoo was this friendly and open to complete strangers and her friends, Lisa couldn't even imagine how well she treated her significant other.

"Ah, Jisoo. Your friends are already upstairs. It's so great to see you." A girl, slightly older than Jisoo and Lisa, greeted them both, shaking their hands.

"You too, Taeyeon-ssi." Jisoo gave the older woman's hand one last squeeze before leading Lisa past her and up the stairs, which Lisa assumed was to the balcony.

"She looks like Irene." Lisa spoke after thinking for a moment, her hand brushing over the rail attached to the stairs.

"Right? If they were out in public and I didn't know them, I'd assume they were sisters." Jisoo pushed open the door at the top of the stairs and Lisa took a deep breath.

She really didn't need to, considering she gasped as soon as she saw the sight in front of her. The top floor was completely lit up, string lights, but a more elegant version, connected throughout the open area. There were tarps on top of the tables, most likely to shield anything unwanted from falling down. Lisa believed the most beautiful part to be the view of Seoul. Downtown was a fair ways away, so large buildings weren't obstructing her sight, but they could still be seen in all of their glory. The smaller buildings closer to the restaurant were lit up, and she thought she could see the church from where she was standing.

"Damn..." She mumbled under her breath, slowly walking behind Jisoo, who had apparently spotted who they were sharing the evening with.

"Jisoo! Lisa!" Lisa recognized the voice as no other than Rosé and snapped her head up, finding her quickly and making her way towards her.

She couldn't help but notice that her hair seemed more blonde than pink now.

She liked it more than she wanted to admit.

"Lisa," Jisoo began, grabbing the girl with the slightly familiar face by the hand and pulling her closer. "This is Jennie."

Lisa bowed politely and Jennie did the same, both girls exchanging shy "hello's" and "nice to meet you's."

All four of them sat down along the rectangular table, Jennie and Jisoo on one side while Lisa and Rosé were on the other.

"You look really pretty." Lisa heard from beside her and she turned her head to look at Rosé.

She then took a few seconds to observe what Rosé was wearing- a short, white, off the shoulder dress- and Lisa almost swore she could've passed out right then and there.

"So do you." She finally spoke, looking away from Rosé to Jisoo, who was eyeing her curiously.

"Rosé, I forgot to ask you earlier.." Jisoo looked at the other girl instead and Rosé's head popped up. "How's Chanyeol?"

Lisa's eyebrows furrowed together slightly.

It's not like she cared, anyway.

"Um.. I don't know. He's sweet and all, but it's just not really working out, you know?"

Rosé didn't seem bothered by it and it made Lisa feel better. She wouldn't want Rosé to feel upset.

"Ah, Chaeyoung... I thought you said you really liked him."

Lisa shifted uncomfortably.

She knew Jisoo didn't mean anything by it, but she couldn't help but think that the timing between Jisoo looking at Lisa like she had caught her doing something she shouldn't have been and asking Rosé about whoever  _Chanyeol_ was happened to be a little odd.

"Something just came up. Don't worry though. What about my favorite couple? How are you guys?" Rosé leaned forward against her table, looking between the two girls in front of her.

In response to Jennie and Jisoo blushing, Lisa couldn't help but admire them both.

From just sitting there, their hands overlapped underneath the table and their shoulders touching, Lisa could tell that the amount of chemistry between them was undeniable. As cliché as it sounded, they seemed to gravitate towards each other. She had a hard time believing Jennie was intimidating considering she couldn't stop smiling whenever she was around Jisoo.

"We're, uh, really good." Jisoo answered and looked to Jennie, offering a warm smile. "Really good."

Before there was an opportunity to say anything else, the waitress, who Lisa recognized as Taeyeon, came to take their drinks and food.

Everyone chose water to drink, but then chose four different meals, planning to line them up in the middle of the table and share.

While they were waiting for their food, conversations about just about everything broke out. Jennie's friendship with Rosé. Jennie's parents. Jisoo and Jennie's relationship. Lisa's, well, Seulgi.

They got the feeling they were all gonna be there for awhile, so when Jisoo ordered a bottle of red wine once their food came to the table, no one dared to object.

Their conversations became increasingly funnier, for whatever reason, and they didn't even mind when the four other tables on the top floor kept looking at them whenever they occasionally broke into a loud fit of giggles.

The story of Jisoo falling in front of her high school crush really was funny, though.

Lisa tried her hardest to pretend that it was just fear bubbling in her stomach when she almost spilled red wine on the white tablecloth and Rosé giggled and placed a hand on her bare arm.

"Be careful, Lisa." Rosé warned. "This is probably, like, super expensive."

"It's a thin, white cloth, Rosie. It can't be that expensive." Lisa laughed and Rosé did the same, her head falling against Lisa's shoulder.

Rosé was touchy after a few glasses of wine, Lisa decided.

They were not drunk by any means. All four of them had enough sense to not get completely stupid in public, but it felt good to be a two hundred feet up with Seoul in the distance with a minimal buzz coursing through their veins.

The plates were stacked up in the middle of the table, which Jisoo made a point to do because "Taeyeon works too hard to have to do extra work around here."

"You know, Lisa. I have a friend.." Jisoo trailed off and Lisa raised her eyebrows. "She's single and since you're not dating Seulgi.."

"You're not dating Seulgi?" Rosé tilted her head in confusion.

"No. We're just best friends." Lisa answered Rosé first, turning back to Jisoo afterwards. "Where are you going with this?"

"She's just.. incredibly single. Incredibly." Jisoo pointed at Lisa. "And as I have noticed, so are you."

Lisa rolled her eyes playfully, shaking her head and taking a quick sip of the sweet alcohol in front of her.

"Come on, Lisa! She's super attractive! You're super attractive! She dances, too!" Jisoo continued and Lisa narrowed her eyes at her.

"Kim Jisoo, you are tipsy and I am tipsy so I will refrain from answering you for the moment." Lisa pushed her glass to the middle of the table and stood from her chair, settling on walking towards the glass railing. She leaned over it, looking across the city lights. The three other girls joined her, and she was soon sandwiched in between Rosé and Jennie.

"Pretty, isn't it?" Rosé mumbled under her breath.

Lisa looked from the mixture of tall and short buildings to the girl next to her, whose gaze didn't break from where it was previously.

"Yeah.." Lisa blinked a few times. "Beautiful."

"Are you guys ready to go? I don't think any of us should drive but since we're downtown, we could walk around until we found something else to do." Jisoo suggested and everyone nodded, including Jennie, who latched onto her girlfriend's arm tightly.

As much to everyone's dismay, Jisoo dropped money on the table neatly and led everyone out. Lisa noticed Rosé stuck behind for a few seconds to drop enough money for a tip, though.

Once they were out of the restaurant and onto the sidewalk, they all ended up directly next to each other, arms locked together and steps in sync.

"Thank you guys for inviting me." Lisa looked at all three of them and they quickly smiled at her.

"Duh, Lisa. We better still be hanging out tomorrow." Jennie peeked her head out from the other end of the line and Lisa responded by nodding, giving her a thumbs up with her free arm.

"Wouldn't miss it for the world."

The four of them continued walking, occasionally humming along to a song playing in a passing car. 

Rosé would occasionally part her lips to switch from humming to singing and Lisa was transfixed.

Anyone could see Rosé was beautiful, and with her attached to Lisa's arm, Lisa couldn't think about anything else. 

Lisa didn't know her at all. She didn't know her favorite color, her favorite food, what she normally does on the weekends besides go to church on Sundays.

She didn't know her.

And she didn't understand why she felt like she  _needed_ to know her.

From the time she saw her walk up the few steps towards the church stage, she needed to get to know her.

It was all too complicated to think about.

But,  _God_ , she was so beautiful, and,  _God_ , it made it so complicated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone :) i hope you had a nice weekend. i know this is short but i had to get something to you guys


	6. Chapter 6

After walking side by side for a little while longer, the four of them came across a children’s park, and they decided that until they were one hundred percent sober, they would swing, slide, and climb.

Lisa immediately parted from Rosé’s arm and ran to the swing, jumping on the hard rubber and beginning to kick her legs. 

Jisoo and Jennie went off elsewhere. Lisa assumed they were beneath the slides and Rosé didn’t want to bother them, so she settled on getting on the swing beside Lisa. 

"Are you gonna talk to Jisoo’s friend?" Rosé began kicking her legs back and forth slowly, Lisa looking at her confused. "The, uh, single one."

Lisa mouthed ‘oh’ and looked upwards, studying the constellations that were barely visible because of the city lights. 

"I’m not looking for anything right now, really."

"Oh, okay. The girl she’s talking about... She just got out of a relationship anyway. I don’t want you to be a rebound or anything." Rosé swung a little higher and Lisa turned her head to look at her.

"Thank you for letting me know." Lisa smiled softly, admiring how Rosé’s facial features seemed to look even better than usual under the moonlight.

"I didn’t know you were gay." Rosé paused for a moment. "I mean, I thought you were dating Seulgi, but I didn’t  _know_ , you know?"

Lisa scrunched her nose up.

"A lot of people think I’m dating Seulgi, which is beyond weird, but whatever. But, yeah, I’m gay. I, uh.." Lisa had already confided in Jisoo about the reason behind coming to the church, explaining her silence, but if she wanted to know Rosé, she assumed she had to allow Rosé to know her. "That’s the reason why I came to the church in the first place. I came out to my parents and they dragged me to church."

Lisa was surprised when Rosé dug her feet in the wood chips beneath the swing and locked eyes with her. 

She was even more surprised when she reached out and grasped her hand. 

"I’m sorry, Lisa. That’s so unfair." Lisa’s heart skipped a beat when the pad of Rosé’s thumb brushed against the top of her hand. 

"It’s okay." Lisa looked from their hands to her face and swallowed inaudibly.

Lisa decided Rosé wasn’t making this easy.

"Everything okay?" Both girls heard Jisoo’s voice and immediately retracted their hands, jumping slightly at the sudden interruption. 

"Yeah." Rosé smiled at Jisoo.

"Jennie is super close to falling asleep and, personally, I'd rather not carry her all the way back to the restaurant, so do you guys mind if we get going?" Jisoo's gaze shifted towards her girlfriend, whose eyes admittedly looked slightly glazed over.

"I'm getting tired, too." Lisa hopped off of the swing and stretched her arms, letting out a quiet noise at the feeling of her muscles releasing the tension that had been building up all night.

The four girls walked side by side in silence, Jennie and Jisoo's arms intertwined while Lisa and Rosé kept to themselves.

It was odd getting along with people she barely knew so easily.

Lisa was normally shy, only breaking out of her shell after a minimum of a few months of knowing someone. She was her truest self around Seulgi, who wasn't even here tonight to push her along, yet she still managed to laugh her loudest. She didn't even think about her problems with her family once, aside from the short conversation with Rosé about it.

"Penny for your thoughts?" She felt a soft hand nudge her upper arm. She looked to her side to find Jisoo looking at her, concerned.

"I was just thinking about how much fun I had tonight." Lisa offered a soft smile and Jisoo jutted her bottom lip forward in return.

"Aw, Lisa. You're too cute." Jisoo used her free arm to reach up and squeeze Lisa's plump cheeks, earning a small shove from the younger girl.

"Shut up..." Lisa mumbled, rubbing the place where the other girl squeezed slowly.

As they fell into another round of comfortable silence, Lisa fell behind as the sidewalk became more narrow. She stayed closely behind, mostly focusing on the tall buildings and city lights around her instead of whatever was going on in front of her. She brought out the small camera she managed to fit into her purse, snapping pictures as the small group of girls got closer to the restaurant. She turned her camera lens towards Jisoo, Rosé, and Jennie, whose hands somehow wandered to each other's and became interlocked, and soon heard the small  _click_ of her camera.

Rosé turned her head in response.

"Oh my gosh, Lisa, can I see that?" Rosé let go of Jisoo's hand and retreated back to Lisa, who offered her camera hesitantly. "Don't worry, I won't break it." She placed her hands on the camera carefully, a few of her nimble fingers interlacing over Lisa's.

Lisa nodded, pulling her hands away and letting Rosé take it.

Lisa watched as the other girl looked through the lens, aiming the camera at her.

Lisa brought a hand over her face as she heard the all too familiar  _click_. 

"Yah, Lisa! Let me take a picture of you." Rosé held the camera with one hand and took Lisa's hand off of her face with the other. The latter groaned, allowing her hand to be pushed back down to her side.

"Fine, but this is a candid." Lisa put her hands to her side and straightened up, looking forward and refusing to acknowledge the camera.

" _This is a candid_.." Rosé repeated, bringing the camera back up to her face. She snapped a few and Lisa noticed her level of focus was very intense, the tip of her tongue sticking out between her lips as she tried to capture Lisa's most prominent features.

"Are you done?" Lisa mumbled, trying not to part her lips too much in case Rosé was still taking pictures.

"Yeah." She paused for a moment. "Is there anyway I can see these?"

Lisa nodded and pulled her phone out, pressing her lips together as she swiped through her applications.

"There's an app I downloaded that's connected to the camera." She pulled it up and placed her phone close enough to the camera where it would connect and download the pictures onto her screen. "It should be coming through in.. Okay, there."

She handed her phone to Rosé, who took it gratefully.

"Woah, Lisa... I didn't know you were this good." Rosé scrolled through all of Lisa's pictures, the younger girl ducking her head shyly. "Seriously, where do you even find places like these?"

"Um, I don't know. I kinda just walk around until something is interesting enough for me." Lisa reached up and rubbed the back of her neck as Rosé scrolled back up to the pictures she took.

"The lighting really... It makes your cheekbones look killer." Rosé zoomed in on Lisa's face. "Why haven't you let anyone take pictures of you? Why not Seulgi?"

"I, um, I don't know. I guess I never really thought about it."

"You should think about it. You're so pretty, Lisa." Rosé linked one of her arms with Lisa's, giving her a small squeeze, in which Lisa scrunched her nose up in response.

Both Lisa and Rosé squealed as they came close to running into the couple in front of them. 

"We're here, so..." Jisoo cleared her throat. "Lisa, I'm taking you home, right?"

"If that's okay with you, yeah, of course." Lisa let go of Rosé's arm, taking her camera back as it was offered.

"Send me your pictures, Lisa. Even the ones I took of you so I can brag about my newfound love for photography." Rosé teased and Lisa laughed in response, nodding to herself.

"Yes ma'am." Lisa heard the jingle of Jisoo's keys and took that as her cue to say goodbye. She gave Jennie a hug, smiling widely as the other reciprocated tightly. 

"Thank you for coming. I'm so glad Jisoo found you. She loves you." Jennie whispered in her ear, only making Lisa's smile spread to her eyes.

Once she separated from Jisoo, she turned to see Rosé with her arms wide open.

"You're not leaving without saying goodbye to me, Lalisa." Lisa shook her head and stepped forward in response, wrapping her arms around Rosé's extremely petite figure. She was afraid she might break her. 

Lisa almost shivered when she felt Rosé's breath on her neck.

"Lisa?" She opened her eyes to see Jisoo looking from the parked car to her and let go of Rosé.

"Bye, guys." She waved one last time at Jennie and Rosé, lingering her gaze on the latter as she loaded herself in Jisoo's passenger seat.

It was quiet for the first minute or so as Jisoo began driving back to Lisa's house. Anxiety bubbled in her stomach and she could almost predict what was about to come out of Jisoo's mouth.

"I've known Rosé forever, you know?"

She tapped her hands on the steering wheel.

"I helped her with her Korean. She introduced me to the love of my life, so I owe something to her. I don't know what it is, but I owe it."

The soft sounds of music flowing through her car speakers became dull compared to what she was saying.

"I brought her into the choir and gave her a bigger spotlight than me because she was just  _that_ good. She deserved that. I know she did. I know her."

Jisoo's fingers became still.

"I've introduced her to all of her boyfriends because she's too shy to initiate a conversation herself."

She turned to look at Lisa as they approached a red light.

"But I can't help but wonder if the reason she has trouble talking to boys in the first place is not because of her shyness."

Lisa swallowed.

"Because it doesn't make sense."

"What doesn't?" Lisa finally spoke.

"Why she gravitates towards you the way she does."

Lisa tilted her head slightly.

"It doesn't make sense why she'd break off things with Chanyeol the minute you stepped into that church. I knew it was over before I asked tonight, truthfully. I just wanted to see if she'd be honest with me."

"Jisoo... I'm sorry. I don't understand where you're going with this." Lisa mumbled as the light ahead of them turned green and Jisoo began driving again.

"She's my best friend. She's what Seulgi is to you to me."

Jisoo paused.

"So imagine my surprise when I start to wonder why she's been lying to me for all the years I've known her about her sexuality when I've been gay this whole time, too."

Lisa started choking on her spit.

"Jisoo, what? You can't just assume that she's been lying to you. She..." Lisa tried to find her words. "She's just like that. You know that. She's touchy. She just hasn't found the right guy."

"Hm..." Jisoo pulled up in Lisa's driveway.

"Jisoo." Lisa placed a hand over hers and looked at her.

Jisoo turned her head and locked eyes with her.

"You know what? It's probably just the alcohol talking. I shouldn't be discussing something like this with you about Chaeyoung when you don't even know her." Jisoo pressed her lips together and unlocked the car doors.

Lisa blinked a few times.

"I should probably go inside." She opened the passenger door. "Thank you for inviting me, Jisoo. I had a lot of fun. I'll see you tomorrow?"

Jisoo gave her a tight smile and nodded, squeezing her hand once before releasing it.

Lisa pulled her purse over her shoulder and exited her car, releasing a deep and slow breath once the car door was closed.

She looked between her house and Seulgi's, playing with her fingers as she decided which porch she should go up to.

It was no surprise when her pathway shifted left and she walked up to Seulgi's front door.

She knocked a few times before Seulgi opened the door, her hair messy and... Blonde.

"Seulgi, what the fuck?" 

"You woke me up. What do you want?" Seulgi rubbed her eyes and tucked a piece of her freshly blonde hair behind her ear.

Lisa pushed past her and went inside the living room, settling on laying down on Seulgi's large leather couch.

"Are you okay?" Seulgi closed the door behind her and made her way over to the couch Lisa was sitting on, lifting her legs and sitting, placing Lisa's long limbs over her lap.

"Jisoo said something weird tonight." Lisa laid her hands on her stomach and intertwined her fingers with one another.

"Jisoo? What'd she say?"

"She just..." Lisa thought for a moment. "She went on this speech about how Rosé was her best friend."

Seulgi nodded, her eyes much more alert now.

"And then she insinuated she might be gay."

The room was filled with silence.

"We already knew Jisoo was gay..? How is that weird?"

Lisa grabbed a couch pillow from behind her head and threw it at Seulgi's face.

"No, stupid. She said that about Rosé."

"Oh, okay." Seulgi furrowed her eyebrows together. "Okay..."

"I know."

"Why would she say that?" Seulgi questioned, sitting up straighter and eyeing Lisa carefully.

"She, um... She acted like it had something to do with me."

Silence, again.

"I  _knew_ it!" Seulgi stood up from her seat and pointed her finger straight at Lisa, whose eyes were wide. "You destroyed a straight girl's straightness!"

"Seul-"

"Lalisa Manoban, I am so proud of you."

"Kang S-"

"No, listen. I thought my gaydar was off, I really did. I thought the googly eyes she made at you was something I was just seeing. My pure imagination, but-"

" _Seulgi_!"

Silence.

"It's not like that. Jisoo was kinda tipsy. By the time she realized what she said, she regretted it. Rosé and I aren't like that. She dates guys and I'm fine with that. I have no interest in her." Lisa sat up.

"Okay..." Seulgi pursed her lips together, looking across the couch at her best friend, who then stood up.

"I'm gonna head home. I didn't tell my parents I was stopping by before I did. They're probably wondering where I am."

Seulgi nodded, eyeing Lisa cautiously.

"Goodnight, I'll text you if I need anything." Lisa shuffled out the door, hugging her arms close to herself as she made her way back to her house in the cold weather.

Once she stepped inside, she wasn't surprised to find her mother sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her, one lamp on to illuminate the crossword puzzle she was attempting to solve.

"Evening, Lalisa. How did your meal go?" She put her pen down and looked up at her daughter.

"Good. I'm just really tired, so I'm gonna go to bed if that's okay with you." Lisa shut the door quietly behind her, securing each lock one by one.

"Of course. I'll see you in the morning." Her mother's eyes focused back on the paper in front of her and Lisa didn't respond, instead running up the stairs, lightly enough to not wake her step-father, and closed herself in her room.

Lisa sat at the edge of her bed and looked at her lap, blinking slowly as she allowed herself to think.

She was quickly snapped out of it once her phone buzzed inside of her purse.

She pulled it out and looked at the screen, a bit surprised at the name on her screen.

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_[image attached] send me the pictures!!!_

Lisa checked the time.

1:30 in the morning. She expected Rosé to be asleep by this time.

But she did what was asked of her and sent pictures she had taken in the past and the ones Rosé took tonight.

_parkchae97 is typing..._

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_wow... thank u so much._

_parkchae97 is typing..._

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_these are so good, seriously. i'm making the ones with the flowers my lockscreen_

Lisa's cheeks darkened slightly and she laid back on her bed. 

She snapped a picture of her with her thumb up and sent it directly to her.

Rosé opened it quickly and while she was replying, Lisa took the time to get up and change into an over-sized t-shirt.

Once she reached her bed again, she turned off all the lights in her room except for a small, blue LED light and opened Rosé's response.

_[image attached] do you care if i post the ones of you on my instagram? i really do like them_

Lisa smiled and double tapped to respond. 

_Snapchat to parkchae97!_

_[image attached] sure, i don't care :) follow me while you're at it tho @lalalalisa_m_

A few seconds later, she received a new follower on Instagram, along with a new tagged picture.

_Instagram (2):_

_[lalalalisa_m] @roses_are_rosie followed you!_

_[lalalalisa_m] @roses_are_rosie tagged you in a post!_

Lisa quickly followed back, clicking on her profile as soon as possible.

She opened what she was tagged in, looking at them closely for the first time.

She did look good, she had to admit.

Her eyes shifted down to the caption and she scrunched her nose up slightly.

_thank u, miss manoban, for letting me steal your camera to capture your beauty [camera emoji] [red heart emoji]_

Jisoo was the first one to like it and Lisa shifted uncomfortably in her bed, remembering their odd and stiff conversation from earlier.

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_[image attached] have you talked to jisoo since you got home?_

Lisa cleared her throat.

_Snapchat to parkchae97!_

_[image attached] no, sorry_

Lisa closed Snapchat and opened her messages, hovering over Jisoo's contact name with her thumb.

She clicked it and quickly typed a message. 

_how are you doing?_

As soon as she sent it, her phone buzzed yet again.

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_[image attached] dang :( i texted her and she hasn't responded so i assumed she fell asleep but she liked my post_

Lisa almost let out a noise at the picture Rosé sent. Her bottom lip was jutted out in a pout and it was clear she had just taken off all of her makeup.

_Jisoo: Message (1)_

Lisa closed Snapchat before responding to Rosé and opened Jisoo's text.

_can you just forget what i said in the car? i don't want her to find out and get mad i said something like that. she's always been vocal about her sexuality..._

Lisa's fingers moved across the keyboard as she tried to figure out a response.

_yeah, of course. it's natural to question other ppl's business, especially if they're your best friend and u feel as if something is changing_

_don't worry about it_

_okay?_

_it's not your fault_

The typing bubble appeared for a few seconds before dropping again, and Lisa decided to leave it alone and exit out of her messages.

_Snapchat to parkchae97!_

_[image attached] she's not answering me either. maybe she forgot to text you before she went to sleep?_

Lisa felt a little bad for lying, but it wasn't the end of the world.

Jisoo, Jennie, Rosé, and Lisa were all going to be together again tomorrow so it wasn't that big of a deal.

Jisoo just needed her space to think, that's all.

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_[image attached] lalisaaaa... i thought you fell asleep on me and i was sad_

Lisa swallowed audibly at the picture that was on her screen for five seconds.

Rosé must have been in her bathroom, getting ready for bed. Her hair was up in a bun and she had a phone in one hand and a toothbrush in another. Her pajama set was pink and velvet and it almost seemed like it reflected off of her skin, which was glowing.

Lisa turned off her LED light and resulted in sending a picture of a black screen in response.

_Snapchat to parkchae97!_

_[image attached] i'm about to go to sleep :( but don't be sad. it's super late anyway and u should go to bed too_

She pulled the covers over her shoulder and tucked one arm underneath her pillow. 

_Snapchat (3):_

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_kimjennieee added you!_

_Snapchat from kimjennieee!_

Against her better judgement, she opened Jennie's first.

_[image attached] jisoo told me about u guys's conversation before you went home..._

Lisa exited out of the picture to respond but stopped once Jennie began typing again.

_kimjennieee is typing..._

_Snapchat from kimjennieee!_

_you don't have to respond to this in anyway but i've known chaeyoung for awhile too and jisoo is weirdly stressed about this... i just think one of her biggest pet peeve's is being lied to. not that chaeyoung is lying or anything... i think jisoo is upset because if there is a chance she is, jisoo isn't gonna be happy_

Lisa sighed.

_it's really not my business... i don't think it's anyone's. who knows? jisoo just might be overlooking this stuff. if not, rosé can tell her on her own terms. i'm sure it was difficult for jisoo to come to terms with her sexuality at one point too. she's had boyfriends her whole life, right? so why is anyone assuming she could be into girls, especially me? i don't know her. she doesn't know me... i don't really have anything else to say. i think everyone should just stop discussing it as if it's their business._

_i'm not saying that to be rude_

_that sounded rude shit_

_if she is gay she won't keep it a secret forever_

_so let's just leave it alone_

Lisa groaned.

She got the notification that Jennie took a screenshot of what she said and assumed she was sending it to Jisoo.

_Jisoo: Message (4)_

_ur right_

_sorry... we really shouldn't be talking about this._

_:/_

_anyway.. love you lalisa i'll see you tomorrow, yeah? i hope i didn't make you uncomfortable with this conversation. i didn't mean to accuse you of being the reason behind all of this. sleep tight <3_

Lisa let out a sigh of relief and opened the Snapchat from Rosé.

_[image attached] i'm going to sleep!!! see you tomorrow lisa_

She smiled and shook her head, setting her phone down and burying her face in her pillow.

What a night.

And what a day she was expecting tomorrow to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um, hi?


	7. Chapter 7

Lisa woke up to her phone obnoxiously buzzing in her ear and she was about to  _scream_.

She lazily clicked the green button and held the phone up to her ear.

" _Lalisa Manoban_!" Jisoo's voice shouted through the phone. Lisa winced and ran her tongue over her slightly chapped lips.

"Mhm?" She sat up, running a hand through her hair.

" _Wanna come over? Bring Seulgi if you want. Joy is here and I know they're like... Flirting, or whatever._ " Lisa laughed quietly and pulled her phone back to check the time.

"Oh, shit. It's late." She stood up from her bed and made her way to her window, pulling open the blinds to see if Seulgi was in her room. "Um, as soon as I find her, I'll let you know, but she'll most likely come. Is it just you and Joy there?"

"Rosé and Jennie are here too. They came over because of the plans we had with you today and Joy showed up so we're just kind of making it a group thing. I don't think anyone else is coming, though."

Lisa noticed Seulgi walking through her room and began trying to get her attention, waving her free arm back and forth, until she looked up.

" _What_?" Seulgi mouthed and Lisa opened her window, waiting for the other girl to do the same.

Once she did, she held her hand over her microphone to refrain from yelling in Jisoo's ear.

"Wanna come to Jisoo's with me?"

"I'm tired, maybe n-"

"Joy is there."

"I'm waiting on you. Hurry up and get dressed."

Lisa snorted and pulled her hand away from her microphone.

"Sorry, Jisoo. We'll be there in a little bit." Lisa paused for a moment and cleared her throat. "Have you talked to Rosé?"

It was quiet for a moment before Lisa heard shuffling on the other end of the phone.

" _No, not about that. I'm just gonna take your advice and let that just be. If she's hiding something like that, she'll tell me eventually._ " Jisoo spoke in a hushed voice. Lisa assumed Rosé was close by. " _I'll just stop trying to set her up with guys._ "

Lisa laughed and shook her head.

"What? No more Chanyeols?"

Jisoo laughed in response.

" _No more Chanyeols._ "

"I'm gonna go get ready now. I'm glad you're feeling better about this. You sounded stressed yesterday."

Lisa heard Jisoo hum quietly before a door opened.

" _Why are you locked in the bathroom on the phone?_ " Lisa overheard a familiar voice, followed by a soft giggle.

" _Because I'm having an affair and I didn't want you or Jennie finding out._ " Jisoo deadpanned and Lisa cringed.

" _Oh, shut up. Who is it?_ " Lisa assumed Rosé grabbed the phone from the noise she heard and raised her eyebrows curiously. " _Oh! It's Lisa! Hi, Lalisa._ "

"Hi, Rosé." Lisa smiled and began rummaging through her closet for an outfit.

" _Are you coming over? You better be._ " Lisa grabbed a shirt and a pair of jeans and threw them in the direction of her bed.

"I sure am. I'm bringing Seulgi for Joy's sake." She wandered into her bathroom next, placing her phone on the counter and putting it on speaker so she could wash her face more easily.

As the water ran and she reached for her moisturizer, Rosé spoke again.

" _Aw, good. Jisoo and I will let you go so you can actually get ready._   _Bye, Lisa. See you soon._ "

Her phone beeped three times, signalling her that they had hung up. She washed her face quickly, practically running back and forth from her bedroom to her bathroom to get ready fast enough.

Once she was ready, she grabbed a small backpack and threw it over her shoulders, holding her thumbs beneath the straps.

Lisa really hoped her parents weren't downstairs so she wouldn't have to explain where she was going, but when it came to luck and her parents, they didn't really coexist.

"Where are you going?" Her stepfather looked up at her from the kitchen. He was preparing lunch and Lisa almost felt bad for leaving.

"I told Jisoo I would hang out with her yesterday. She called me to wake me up and told me to come over." She slowly inched toward the door, looking from her mother to her stepfather, who both seemed to be debating on letting her go.

"Be back later." Her stepfather cleared his throat and returned to his attention to the cutting board in front of him.

Lisa nodded and opened the door, jogging over to Seulgi's as soon as it was shut.

Before she had the opportunity to knock, Seulgi had already stepped out, and Lisa backtracked to Seulgi's car.

"Ready?" Lisa asked before opening the passenger door.

"As always." Seulgi hopped in next and started the car, going over the directions to Jisoo's out loud before she began driving.

They were halfway there before Seulgi hesitantly called Lisa's name.

"Lisa?" She turned towards her. "You can tell me if you have a crush on Rosé, you know? It's not like she's a mean person or anything."

Lisa nodded, her eyes, for the most part, locked on her lap.

"You tell me everything. I tell you everything. That's how this works..." Seulgi continued. "You don't have to hide something from me just because you don't think it'll work out in your favor."

Lisa remained silent.

She wasn't stupid.

She was fully aware of what was happening to her. She couldn't just ignore the sweat building up on her palms every time she saw Rosé.

She wasn't stupid.

But she wasn't smart enough to face any of that, so while Seulgi kept driving, her lips remained shut.

She knew Seulgi wasn't stupid either and understood that her silence told more than any response she could ever have.

Once they arrived, Lisa shuffled out of the car, grabbing her backpack and making her way towards Jisoo's front door.

She stopped in her tracks when she felt nimble fingertips surround her wrist.

"Lalisa. I mean it." Seulgi looked at her knowingly and Lisa shifted, uncomfortable beneath her gaze.

She simply nodded again, pulling her wrist away from Seulgi's grip and knocking twice on the door.

"Hey!" Lisa locked eyes with Joy, who quickly turned her attention to the girl beside her and smiled widely. "Hi, Seulgi."

"Sooyoung, quit blocking the door and let them in." A small pair of eyes appeared above Joy's shoulder, the owner of those standing on the tip of their toes to see over the abnormally tall girl.

Joy moved to the side, but not before she rolled her eyes, and Lisa recognized the eye's of Jisoo, who pulled them in quickly.

"Don't stand out there forever. It's too cold."

The door shut behind them, and Lisa found herself looking for the girl she was harboring some kind of feelings for.

Not that she'd ever admit that out loud. 

"Rosé is in the kitchen." Joy looked at Lisa while she spoke, Lisa pressing her lips together in return.

_Did Seulgi talk about her suspicions with Joy?_

"Jennie is helping her." Jisoo continued, walking closer to Lisa and wrapping an arm around her shoulder, leading her into the familiar living area with the large couch.

Joy and Seulgi followed close behind, Joy sprawling her body out across the majority of one side of the couch.

"Joy, take your shoes off, stupid." Jisoo scolded her, earning a laugh from Joy in return, who did what she was told and placed them neatly on the floor.

Seulgi lifted Joy's legs up and sat down, placing them across her thighs once she did so.

"Aw," Lisa teased and scrunched her nose up. "How cute."

Seulgi glared at her.

Jisoo grabbed the remote from the glass table in front of them and opened up Hulu, humming quietly as she took a seat on the adjacent side of the couch from Joy and Seulgi. 

Lisa sat next to her, her attention on the television as Jisoo flipped through.

"What are we watching?" Lisa looked up from the TV to see Rosé carrying an abundance of sodas, water, and juices.

She quickly stood to help her, taking at least half of them and putting them on the table.

"Thanks." Rosé looked up at Lisa from her position and gave her a soft smile.

Jennie, who was behind Rosé with her hands empty, cleared her throat.

"Yeah, um, no problem." Lisa looked away shyly.

"I'm glad someone around here is willing to help." Rosé paused while Jennie took Lisa's seat beside Jisoo. "Unlike  _you_."

Jennie responded by rubbing her thumb and pointer finger against one another.

"What is that?"

"It's me playing my tiny violin for your tiny problems."

Rosé rolled her eyes playfully and slapped Jennie's bare knee.

"Scoot over."

"No."

"What do you mean ' _No_?' This is a huge couch."

"I'm about to lay down." Jennie did as she said, mirroring Joy's position, her legs across Jisoo's lap.

"You absolutely suck, you know?" Rosé settled for a larger chair, leaving Lisa to stand there awkwardly, fiddling with her fingers.

"Yah, Lisa. I can't see the screen." Seulgi gave Lisa's bottom a pat, encouraging her to move over.

"Shoot, sorry Lisa. Come sit with me. This chair's big enough for the both of us." Rosé scooted to one side of the chair as much as she could and looked at her, seemingly waiting.

Lisa avoided eye contact with Seulgi, because she could literally  _feel_ her gaze burning in her back, and walked over to the large chair, settling in beside Rosé.

"What do you guys wanna watch? It's December, cold outside, and looks like it could be 7 p.m. because of the clouds, so... Christmas movie?"

The rest of the girls agreed and Jisoo chose 'Home Alone,' which Lisa had never seen before and Rosé called her uncultured for it.

Jisoo got up for a second, closing the blinds and turning of the lights, in which Lisa looked at her curiously for.

"Hey, we gotta have the full experience if you're watching it for the first time."

The movie started and all six girls remained quiet.

Lisa could hear her heartbeat in her ears.

This chair truly would have had enough room for any two people, but Rosé's hips were wider than the average person which made it extremely difficult for Lisa to focus.

Rosé had never been so close to her, and admittedly, it was a bit stressful.

With Jisoo speculations about Rosé's sexuality and Seulgi's speculations about Lisa's feelings, and God knows what Joy and Jennie think about it all, she really would rather have sat somewhere else.

But she remained calm and kept her eyes on the screen in front of her.

"You know our, well your, first rehearsal with the choir is soon. Are you excited?" Rosé whispered in Lisa's ear.

"I am, actually. I'm a bit nervous, but..." Lisa shrugged, keeping her voice low so she wouldn't disturb the two pairs on the couch.

"You're gonna do great." Rosé placed a hand over Lisa's and squeezed it softly.

Lisa looked from their hands to Rosé, who was  _way_ too close to her.

"You think?" Lisa spoke under her breath, her hand tensing slightly under the other girl's.

"I do."

Rosé's hand remained where it was.

Lisa's heartbeat became even louder, to the point where the movie was dull in comparison.

Lisa could've sworn Rosé briefly looked at her lips, but she convinced herself it was too dark to tell and she was too straight to even think about something like that.

 _She's straight_.

The thought played over and over in Lisa's head before she turned away.

She was relieved to finally be able to hear the movie again.

And she tried to tell herself she was relieved when the warmth of Rosé's hand disappeared.

An hour later, Lisa's eyes began to droop, and she was almost asleep until firm knocking made her head jolt up.

She looked over to Jisoo, whose eyebrows were knitted together in confusion.

She moved Jennie's feet and paused the movie, running over to the door to relieve whoever it was of the cold.

"Jisoo!" An unfamiliar face walked inside, giving themselves a hug to shield from the cold. "You weren't answering your phone and I live two seconds away so I decided to walk here."

The girl paused.

"Shit, sorry. Am I interrupting something?" She looked between the plethora of girls sat in chairs and couches.

"No, no. It's okay. We're just watching a movie. Is everything okay?" Jisoo shut the door.

"Oh, yeah. I was just wondering..." She sighed quietly. "Momoring keeps trying to contact me and she... I don't know. She listens to you. Could you-"

She stopped talking when she heard the  _ding_ of her text tone.

"See? Could you just tell her to give me some space?"

The unfamiliar girl rocked back and forth on her heels and Lisa looked at Rosé, who seemed to not have any sort of expression on her face.

"I can try, but Momo is quite persistent."

The other girl sighed and nodded, then her eyes nodded and she bowed apologetically towards the others in the room.

"I'm so sorry. I'm Dahyun." She studied the room to see if she saw familiar faces. "Hi, Joy. Hi, Rosé. You're Jennie, right?"

Jennie nodded and stood up, offering her hand towards Dahyun.

"And you're..? I'm sorry, I haven't seen you before."

Lisa blinked a few times once she realized the stranger's attention was now on her.

"I'm Lisa." She stood up and bowed slightly, giving the girl across from her a polite smile.

"Oh, Lisa! Jisoo has told me about you." Lisa looked at Jisoo curiously, who was clearly hiding a laugh.

"She has, huh?" 

"This is Dahyun, Lisa. The one recently single that I told you about.." Jisoo trailed off.

Lisa stood there for a few seconds before making the connection.

"Oh! Hi!" Lisa grabbed her hands sheepishly and shook them, bowing her bed repeatedly.

Dahyun responded with a quiet laugh, returning the handshakes.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Lisa." Their hands dropped before Dahyun spoke again. "I'm afraid I'm interrupting and I hate that, so I'll be on my way. But, here."

Dahyun handed Lisa her phone, which Lisa took hesitantly.

She looked at Rosé, whose expression remained the same, this time her eyes on Lisa.

Lisa tilted her head before quickly returning her attention to the phone in front of her. She typed in her number and handed the phone back shyly.

"Sorry for barging in, Jisoo. Text me and let me know if you talk to Momo. You don't have to, of course, but, yeah." Dahyun shoved her phone in her back pocket and waved goodbye, looking at Lisa one last time before exiting Jisoo's house.

Jisoo gave Lisa a teasing nudge before she returned to her spot on the couch, Lisa shaking her head and doing the same, except next to Rosé, whose gaze wouldn't let up.

The movie began playing again and Lisa crossed one leg over the other, leaning back on the cushion behind her.

When Lisa's phone buzzed twice in her lap, she picked it up.

_Message (3):_

_Message from seulgi (2)_

_Message from Unknown Number (1)_

Lisa opened Seulgi's first and pressed her lips together at what it revealed.

_rosé looked pissed_

_are you sure there's nothing to tell?_

Lisa looked up at Seulgi, who was too immersed in the movie to pay attention to her.

_1 new message to: seulgi_

_don't look too deep into it. positive._

She then opened the text from the unknown number, who she assumed was Dahyun.

_hi, lisa :) it's dahyun. just wanted to text you so you had my number saved_

Rosé tensed beside her and Lisa looked at her curiously.

What Rosé did next reminded her of what she did in grade school, which was act extremely interested in the ceiling when the teacher caught her looking at another student's test.

"You okay?" Lisa whispered and Rosé looked at her. 

Rosé smiled and nodded reassuringly, the look she had on her face wiped off with what Lisa was used to- her smiling.

Lisa looked at her phone again and typed a reply to Dahyun, saving her contact soon after.

_hiii_

She then locked it, placing it back on her lap.

"Just be careful. Momo and Dahyun dated for almost two years. Momo is trying to fix things, as you saw, and Dahyun has always been very forgiving." Rosé said quietly, running her tongue over her lips slowly.

"Um, okay. I really doubt anything will happen. Just Jisoo being Jisoo, so don't worry about it." Lisa paused. "You know, I've been in the closet all of my life because a part of me was afraid I couldn't relate to anyone... But all I'm seeing is gay couples, so next time I feel alone, I probably shouldn't."

Rosé giggled and nodded.

"You're right. Pretty much the only people I know that aren't gay are some of the guys in the choir and my family members."

Lisa hesitated before saying the next thing.

"And that doesn't bother you?"

Rosé looked at her.

"Of course not. I lived in Australia for a portion of my life and I met gay people growing up very often... It wasn't universally accepted but it's better there than it is in South Korea, so... And I've visited America a handful of times. America is probably one of the most accepting places on Earth, at least from what I've seen. I've only been to New York, Chicago, and LA."

Lisa felt a sense of relief.

"I was excited when I found out Jisoo was gay..." Rosé continued, a quiet laugh escaping her lips afterwards. "Sounds weird, but it reminded me of home. Before moving here, I heard the horror stories of homophobia, racism, sexism, and other stuff... But, yeah. Not bothered at all."

Lisa felt comfortable.

She wasn't sure if it was because of what Rosé said or the side of her body radiating warmth.

Either way, she was comfortable.

And she, for the first time in awhile, prayed to God nothing would change.


	8. Chapter 8

Soon enough, the movie ended, and Lisa quickly realized that Joy and Seulgi had fallen asleep on the couch. Seulgi's head was back and her mouth was wide open, and if the room wasn't so dark, she'd probably be able to see a bit of drool.

She would have gotten up and bothered her, but Rosé had fallen asleep as well during the last twenty minutes of the movie and somehow, her head found its way onto Lisa's shoulder.

"Lisa? Are you awake?" She heard Jisoo's voice and responded with a quiet ' _Mhm._ '

"It's only like, 1 p.m.. I don't have it in me to sleep in the middle of the day." Lisa took a strand of Rosé's hair and wrapped it around her finger gently, trying her hardest not to wake her up.

"I think she likes you." Jisoo trailed off and Jennie sat up and placed a hand on her knee.

"Jisoo," Jennie's tone was a bit pointed. "Now's not the time. She's literally in the room."

"No, seriously. She's asleep. She can't take a nap shorter than an hour."

Lisa pulled her finger away from Rosé's hair.

"Did you see the way she reacted to Dahyun? I'm not the only one. I can't be." Jisoo continued and Lisa's hands fell to her lap.

She remained silent, mirroring how she acted in the car with Seulgi.

"Lisa?"

"I didn't see it." Lisa shrugged, looking down at the girl beside her, whose chest was rising and falling slowly.

"Jennie?"

Jennie stayed quiet for a few moments.

"Well, I mean..." She bit her bottom lip. "Yeah."

"She's not wrong." A groggy voice butted in and Lisa turned to see Seulgi stretching her arms over her head.

"Kang Seulgi, go back to sleep." Lisa retaliated.

"I told you!" Jisoo's voice raised slightly and Lisa placed a f

inger over her lips, motioning her to be quieter.

"Lisa won't talk to me about it but I'm sure she knows, too."

" _Seulgi_." Lisa hissed, attempting not to speak too loud but really,  _really,_ wishing Seulgi would be quiet.

"What, Lalisa? I'm not lying. I know you trust Jisoo and have spoken about this to her as much as you have me, so just be honest. And try not to freak out."

"I've told you both what I know about it already. It's not our business, and she's literally right here." Lisa looked between the both of them, a pleading expression on her face.

Jisoo nodded and Seulgi chewed on the side of her cheek, both silently agreeing to save it for another day, and Lisa fell back on the chair, relieved.

She must have done it too dramatically, because Rosé's eyes opened slowly.

"Shoot, did I fall asleep?" She lifted her head off of Lisa's shoulder and placed a hand there instead. "Sorry for using you as my personal pillow."

"It's fine. You haven't been asleep for long." Lisa smiled.

She noticed that sleepy Rosé's lips and eyes were a bit more swelled than they were when she was awake. It made her look younger alongside her already plump cheeks.

"Okay, good." She nestled her head back in Lisa's shoulder and Lisa made the mistake of looking up at Jisoo, who made a gesture from Lisa to Rosé, causing Seulgi to snort loudly.

"What?" Rosé spoke, but kept her eyes closed, as she was still sleepy.

"Nothing. Joy just sleeps funny."

"Mhm."

"Come on, loser. Don't go back to sleep. It's too early for that." Jisoo stood up and walked over to the large chair, earning a groan from Rosé who only pulled the hood of the hoodie she was wearing over her head in response.

"Wake up Sooyoung first. I need 30 more seconds." She mumbled, waving her hand to dismiss the other girl.

"Seulgi can wake her up. Come on, Rosie. Don't be a bum." Jisoo poked her cheek and Rosé slapped her hand away.

She sat up straight and pulled her hood down, glaring at Jisoo through her sleepy eyes.

"You're the worst, you know that?" She rubbed her eyes and stood up, stretching both her arms and legs.

"I know, I know." Jisoo teased.

Seulgi gently woke up Joy, who had about the same reaction as Rosé.

"What time is it?" Joy asked, yawning softly and sitting up slowly.

"1:30."

"Oh shit, I have to go." Joy stood up, running a finger through her hair and wincing once it met a few tangles.

"Why? I didn't think you were busy." Jisoo sat on the armrest of the large chair Lisa and Rosé were sat.

"Well..." Joy began. "I don't know. I've lived by myself for years now and between school and looking for a job, I never really had time for an animal, you know? And I saw this dog-"

"Dog?!" Jisoo's eyes widened, but she quickly recovered and laughed to herself. "Jesus, good luck getting Joohyun to ever come over anymore."

"No, no. It's a tiny, cute dog. There's no way she'll be scared of it."

Joy and Jisoo continued their banter, much to Lisa's amusement.

Lisa looked to Rosé, whose hoodie was still pulled over a head, a small grin on her lips as she watched the two in front of her bicker.

"Joy showed it to me. It's super cute. I think I have a picture of it somewhere." Rosé pulled her phone out and scooted closer to Lisa so she could see.

Lisa swallowed quietly.

Truthfully, she was annoyed. 

She was annoyed at everyone for inserting their own statements into how she feels about Rosé. She hated feeling so vulnerable, like she couldn't hide her feelings for anything.

"Lisa?" Rosé prodded quietly and Lisa blinked, momentarily putting her frustrations to the side.

When she looked down, she almost melted.

"Oh my God. That's so cute!" Lisa's bottom lip jutted out and she took the phone from Rosé to get a better look.

Rosé must have went to whatever pet store the dog was at with Joy to see it, because pictured on the screen of her phone was Rosé, holding a small, fluffy puppy close to her upper body.

"Me or the dog?" Rosé teased and Lisa felt her cheeks heat up slightly.

_You, of course._

"Please, you have nothing on that precious thing." 

Lisa prayed her voice didn't shake.

Rosé almost responded, but when Lisa's phone buzzed, her eyes fell to the bright screen and the text she received from Dahyun.

_hi :) sorry my reply is a couple hours late. i was playing a video game and i was pretty into it.. haha_

Lisa's fingers hovered over the keyboard, unsure of what to say. She was almost convinced she could feel Rosé looking at her screen as well.

_1 new message to: dahyun_

_you're fine! what game? i play some too_

"Okay, guys. I'm out. Thank you for inviting me!" Joy waved to everyone, lingering a little longer on Seulgi, who looked slightly disappointed to see the other girl leave.

Everyone said their goodbyes and Lisa tried her hardest to pretend she didn't know Rosé was looking at her phone when it buzzed again.

_2 new messages from: dahyun_

_i've been switching between overwatch and red dead redemption two_

_what do you play on???? maybe we can play together sometime :)_

Rosé cleared her throat and Lisa looked up at her.

Rosé was looking forward at the television, which was on a paused screen.

"You okay?" Lisa asked and Rosé returned her gaze to her.

She nodded and gave a small smile, sighing before burying her head further into Lisa's shoulder.

_Fuck._

_I am so fucking fucked._

Lisa inhaled a slow breath.

Jesus, this wasn't fair.

_1 new message to: dahyun_

_wellll i used to play on ps4, but i switched to pc like four months ago_

Lisa didn't know what to think anymore.

She spent all of her time since she met Rosé denying her feelings to those around her and herself, and it wasn't getting her anywhere.

Rosé was naturally clingy and she often latched onto Lisa, which gave something for her feelings to hang onto.

Lisa thought Rosé was the most beautiful girl she had ever seen. Her long, wavy, strawberry blonde hair fit her face so perfectly.

God, her face.

Lisa swore it resembled the angels above. She had been blessed with a perfect nose, accompanied by her lips that God must have spent hours shaping Himself. She was tiny, her waist probably the smallest she had ever seen, but her cheeks were plump and  _so damn cute_.

Rosé was tall, giving Lisa's long legs a run for their money.

If she had ever doubted the idea of perfection, she was surely wrong, considering 'perfect' was resting her head on her shoulder.

Not to mention her personality.

She was soft, loving, and accepting. She cared about those around her and she genuinely looked out for their well being.

So, Lisa decided, she was in fact fucked.

_1 new message from: dahyun_

_i play on both too, but we should play together on ps4 sometime. like, you could come over and we could do a classic split-screen?_

Lisa felt Rosé tense against her.

_1 new message to: dahyun_

_when?_

Dahyun responded quicker than she anticipated.

_tonight..? :)_

Lisa looked up at Jisoo, who was flicking through Netflix again.

"Hey, Jisoo? Are we doing something tonight?" She asked, looking down at her screen one more time before looking back up at her.

"Um, kind of? But, not really. Why?" Jisoo tilted her head curiously, noting Lisa was exchanging text messages.

"I thought we were all hanging out, Jisoo." Rosé butted in, looking between the two girls in conversation.

"Dahyun invited me over."

"Oh, Lisa, please. We didn't have anything extravagant planned. Go, have fun." Jisoo clapped her hands together excitedly. 

"But, Jisoo.. We were planning that thing." Rosé struggled with her words and Jisoo looked at her, her eyes raised slightly.

"No, we weren't."

Lisa felt slightly uncomfortable, if she was being honest.

She didn't want to read too much into it.

She didn't want to read into it at all.

Rosé sank into the chair and Lisa shifted awkwardly. 

"Is it a date?" Seulgi asked, standing up to walk over to Lisa, who looked at her lap sheepishly.

"Dahyun still has feelings for Momo, Seulgi. So probably not, right?" Rosé answered before Lisa could.

"She can speak for herself, Rosé." Jisoo mumbled under her breath and Rosé's head quickly turned towards her.

She almost looked angry.

Lisa cleared her throat, the tense air around her almost literally making it difficult for her to breathe.

"I don't think so. We don't know each other, so." Lisa responded, looking down at her phone.

_1 new message to: dahyun_

_sure :) what time should i be over?_

"Aw, Lisa! That's the point of dates! To get to know each other!" Jisoo poked her shoulder, smiling widely at what she had done. "That's so cute. I'm glad I introduced you guys to each other."

Rosé remained silent. Lisa heard her let go of a small breath before she smiled.

"Have fun, Lalisa." Rosé gave her knee a small squeeze.

"We should probably get going." Seulgi stood again and stretched, offering her hand out for Lisa to take.

Lisa nodded and took it, pulling herself up to meet Seulgi's height.

She almost thought about how she missed Rosé's warmth, but hey, she had a  _date_ tonight, so that was the last thing she should worry about.

Lisa and Seulgi excused themselves, saying their goodbyes and walking out the door.

Lisa was confused once Seulgi began to hysterically laugh as soon as the door shut behind them.

"Dude!" Seulgi got into the car and waited for Lisa to get in as well to continue. "She likes you, like..  _Like_ like!"

" _Like_ like? Seriously? You're five." Lisa rolled her eyes, hoping she was getting out of the conversation.

"Lisa, I'm serious. She looked so mad. You've got to be kidding me right now. I know you noticed." Seulgi put the car in reverse and pulled out.

Lisa shook her head.

"Why are you so afraid to talk to me?" Seulgi's tone shifted and Lisa looked at her.

"I'm not.." Lisa trailed off.

"Yes, you are." Seulgi began to drive home, her eyes on the road instead of Lisa, which she was thankful for.

Lisa thought for a moment about what to say next. Seulgi was right.

If she felt something for Rosé, she should tell her.

"I do." Lisa spoke quietly and Seulgi looked over to her, confused.

"You do? What do you mean?"

Lisa cleared her throat.

"I like her.." She said even quieter.

"What?"

Lisa rolled her eyes.

"I like her." She said again, just slightly louder.

Seulgi raised her eyebrows.

"Was it that hard to admit?"

Lisa leaned her head against the seat and rolled her eyes again.

"Yes, Seulgi. It is that hard to admit." Lisa pressed her lips together, Seulgi looking at her like she wanted her to go on. 

Lisa paused for a moment before continuing.

"She's painfully beautiful. I look at her and I just... I don't know, Seul. It's frustrating. She's straight. Whether she's struggling with it or hiding it like everyone is assuming, that's what she identifies as. I can't push her boundaries. Our friendship is so easy. I'm not going to complicate it and make it uncomfortable for literally everyone by telling her I have some stupid crush on her. I just joined the choir and just made friends who I think are really good people, okay? You and Joy have the thing that you have and I can't ruin it. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't."

Seulgi nodded as she listened to her and Lisa noticed that she was quite literally biting her tongue.

"Lisa, you are so damn stupid." Seulgi laughed as they approached their shared neighborhood.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not gonna lie and say I've tried to respect your boundaries and leave you alone about all of this, because I haven't. I've bothered you and tried to get it out of you ever since you guys met each other. And it's not just because of you. I don't know what struggles she faces with her sexuality, but are you that oblivious that you refuse to acknowledge how she acts around you? She's constantly holding onto you and flirting with you, I believe. She gets extremely jealous at even the _mention_ of you going on a date. Jesus, like, are you even paying attention to her face and her body language when Dahyun comes up? Lisa, come on." Seulgi put the car in park upon pulling into the driveway.

Lisa nodded.

Despite the drilling that Seulgi was doing to her head, more or less her heart, she still couldn't allow herself to believe Rosé had any interest in her.

Lisa believed she had an average personality, that there was no way someone like Rosé would break past the barriers that confine what could be the real her.

There was no way.

So when Dahyun texted her and told her to be over at 7:00, asking her what her favorite thing was at a Korean take-out place, she responded with Gamjatang and that she'd bring drinks.

* * *

Lisa explained yet again she was on her way out to her parents, who wanted to put up a fight, but figured Lisa spending time with another church girl couldn't hurt.

She grabbed a liter of strawberry soda and lemonade, specially made by her stepfather.

Dahyun would have water, right?

Lisa jumped in her small, yellow car, placing the drinks in the fabric passenger seat.

She took a deep breath and buckled herself in, starting the car.

"Jesus.." She mumbled under her breath and put Dahyun's address into the GPS on her phone.

She was there shortly, as Dahyun's apartment was only five or so minutes away.

She was nervous.

Maybe it was because it was, questionably, a date.

But her mind couldn't help but wander to some far away world where she'd be heading to Rosé's for a date- where Rosé would greet her at the door with a shy smile and bowl of Gamjatang.

It was ridiculous, the way her heart beat thinking of  _something_ with Rosé, but it was impossible.

She was walking up the stairs to the door of Dahyun's apartment, not Rosé's.

So, maybe she should just forget it.

She decided she was really going to try as she was met with Dahyun, a smile on her face and a bowl of Gamjatang in her hand.

"Hi, Lisa. Come in!" Dahyun stepped to the side, allowing her to move to the living room table, where two PS4 controllers were sat, glowing, and open on Overwatch.

"Wow, I love your place." Lisa sat the drinks on the table, looking around her in awe.

Dahyun's apartment was perfectly modern, pastel colors hidden throughout. 

When her eyes landed on a litter box, she almost screamed.

"You have a cat?" She asked excitedly, looking back at Dahyun, who nodded.

"I do. I didn't know if you were allergic or something, so I vacuumed all of the hair off of my couch and locked him in my room." She answered sheepishly and Lisa looked at her couch, which was in fact, hair-free.

"That's sweet, but he's welcome to come in here and chill." Lisa smiled softly and Dahyun nodded again, setting Lisa's soup down and walking up the small set of stairs to her bedroom.

The door opened and Lisa melted when she heard little footsteps against the wooden stairs.

"Hi, baby." She cooed, the cat rubbing its chin against Lisa's hand. She sat down and was quickly joined by the cat. "What's his name?" 

"Yeo." Dahyun joined Lisa on the couch. "I'm terrified of animals, including cats, but he was always calm and gentle. Although he sometimes spooks me because he tries to play with my hair, he's a good cat. He latched onto me from the moment I met him. Someone left him in a box at the street corner. He was taped in and everything... It broke my heart. I had to get someone to come and get him out for me because I was scared to touch him, but yeah.. I love him. He's probably the only animal I'll ever have. Unless I get a fish or something."

Lisa laughed, her hand absentmindedly stroking the cat's head.

"He's adorable." Lisa used her free hand to grab the strawberry soda, popping it open and carefully placing the lid on the glass table.

"Ready?" Dahyun picked up a controller and handed it to Lisa, who gladly took it and turned it on to activate the second player.

Lisa and Dahyun spent the next hour playing multiple matches, quickly taking bites of their food between matches.

"You are kicking my ass!" Dahyun complained, a small groan escaping her lips. "I'm good, but what the hell?! You're making it seem like I suck."

Lisa laughed, the match ending and Dahyun, yet again, losing.

She threw the controller to the side and fell back against the black couch.

"This is humiliating." Dahyun pouted, covering her face with one of her hands.

"Oh, shut up. You did really good!" Lisa grabbed her wrist and pulled it off of her face, her nimble fingers wrapped gently around it.

"You sure?" Dahyun peeked at Lisa.

"Positive." Lisa loosened her grip on Dahyun's wrist. "I mean, it's not my fault I'm a lot better than you."

Dahyun's mouth opened, her face reflecting shock.

"That's mean!" She pushed Lisa's arm playfully.

"No,  _that's_ mean!" Lisa squealed and pushed her back.

"You really want to fight me?" Dahyun puffed up her chest and looked at Lisa, silently challenging her.

"You really want to fight  _me_?" Lisa responded and Dahyun shook her head.

"It's freaking on."

Lisa screamed when Dahyun lunged herself on top of her, trying to pin her down.

"Dahyun! Get off of me!"

Lisa learned that although Dahyun was small, she was strong.

The only way she got her off of her was attempting to fling her off, but Dahyun's grip brought her with her, and soon enough they were on the floor, fighting.

Yeo quickly moved out of the way, Dahyun and Lisa practically rolling all over the apartment floor.

"Got you!" Dahyun exclaimed, breathing heavily and smiling widely as Lisa was pinned beneath her.

Lisa's bangs covered her eyes and she tried her hardest to blow it away with a sharp breath, but ultimately failed.

Dahyun laughed quietly and let go of one of Lisa's arms, using her now free hand to move her bangs out of her eyes.

"Um, sorry." She blushed and looked down, apparently just noticing the position that the both of them were in.

Lisa's chest rose and fell quickly.

"It's.. It's okay." Lisa offered a small smile and Dahyun's gaze returned to her.

Surprisingly, she still stayed put.

Dahyun's eyes fell to Lisa's lips and her heart skipped a beat.

No way she was gonna do it after just being around her for over an hour.

_No damn way._

Apparently Lisa was wrong, because Dahyun's face was getting closer to her.

Admittedly, she was shocked, explaining her lack of movement.

But when she felt the unfamiliar warmth of lips against hers, her eyes widened for a short second, before they shut again and she put her free hand on the back of Dahyun's head.

_Rosé._

_Rosé._

_Rosé._

Lisa's hand tangled in the strawberry blonde strands.

_No._

Lisa's hand tangled in the black strands of Dahyun's hair.

_You are kissing Dahyun._

Dahyun's lips were nice. They were warm and soft, and Lisa could swear she tasted a homemade lip-scrub.

They were nice and so was Dahyun and that's why she felt so damn  _guilty_ that she thought of Rosé. It wasn't fair.

She squeezed her eyes tighter, trying her hardest to convince herself that it was in fact Dahyun she wanted to be kissing.

Dahyun is nice.

Dahyun is an experienced kisser.

So she let it happen.

Lisa's hand found the back of her neck and she pulled her closer, the kiss beginning to deprive them both of air.

Dahyun pulled away and Lisa could feel her breathe against her lips.

"Was that okay?" Dahyun crawled off of her. "I obviously didn't plan for that, I swear. I hope I didn't make you uncomfortable." She began to ramble and Lisa smiled softly.

She had to try.

Dahyun continued going on and Lisa sat up, reaching for her and giving her a short kiss to silence her worries.

"Stop freaking out, Dahyun." Lisa reassured her, giving her shoulder a soft squeeze.

Dahyun nodded in return.

 _This is fine,_ Lisa thought.

Lisa opened her mouth to speak again, but was distracted by her phone buzzing in her pocket.

_parkchae97 is typing..._

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_[Image attached] hey.. how's your evening going? :)_

Pictured on her screen was Rosé, the classic puppy filter attached to her features.

_Shit._


	9. Chapter 9

The next hour or so consisted of the both of them posting a picture of themselves on Snapchat, continuing to play against each other, even branching out to Minecraft at one point, and just a  _tiny_ bit of kissing. 

Neither of them wanted to push it, given they don’t know each other at all and only been around each other for a couple of hours. 

It felt nice to be kissed, so Lisa ignored the gnawing in her chest that longed for it to be a set of plumper, pinker lips, belonging to someone else. 

She ignored it so much, she didn’t think about it as often by the end of their "date."

"Thank you for this." Lisa smiled, standing in the doorway and looking at Dahyun, who had Yeo in one arm. "I had a great time."

"Me too. See you next time?" Dahyun asked cautiously, shifting back and forth on her feet. 

Lisa leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on Dahyun’s cheek. 

_She was trying._

"See you next time."

Once she left, she sat in her car for a moment, her thoughts running wild. 

Dahyun was nice. She was easy to get along with. She did a goofy dance that made Lisa laugh every time she got a win over her in Overwatch. Her cat was a sweetheart. Dahyun made sure there was enough time between every kiss in case Lisa no longer consented and needed to pull away. 

It was easy. 

And even for a little while, it made her forget. 

* * *

Over the next few weeks, Dahyun and Lisa were attached to each other. They seldom let their affection show, only occasionally grasping each other’s hands or doing small things like Dahyun tucking a strand of hair behind Lisa’s hair. They both wanted to avoid being teased. 

Lisa would notice Dahyun burying her head in her phone, like she was hiding something, and she assumed it was texts from Momo. 

She really wished it bothered her. 

Jisoo was extremely happy for herself, even enough to commonly make remarks about how she brought them together and how cute they were. 

Jennie looked at Rosé every time Jisoo said something, like they were sharing a secret and she wanted to make sure it would stay put. 

Seulgi and Joy suggested double dates.

Dahyun agreed.

Rosé didn’t talk much anymore and Lisa hated it more than anything. She genuinely missed her bubbly laugh- the voice that made her cheeks warm anytime it rang throughout the room. She would excuse herself if possible, Jennie sometimes following her.

Lisa wanted to so badly, she really did. 

She just assumed Rosé was tired and busy. After all, she had many solos she had to work on. She must be spending hours working on that. 

It was just a lot of bathroom breaks. 

Lisa was alone in her room for the first time in awhile, the plans with her friends and whatever Dahyun was keeping her busy to the point she was only there to sleep.

It felt good to smell the lavender and fabric softener for more than an hour. 

Her eyes were even closed, taking in how good her head felt against her cold pillow and warm sheets.

Yet, that didn’t last long, her phone buzzing beside her. 

She groaned, picking it up lazily. 

_parkchae97 is typing..._

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

Lisa rushed to unlock it. 

Rosé hadn’t snapped her a lot, claiming it was some sort of social media cleanse. 

_hey... i feel like i’ve been distant lately and i just wanna say that i miss u!_

Lisa smiled. 

_Yes, Rosé, you have._

Lisa took a picture of herself pouting, her eyebrows furrowed together and her bottom lip sticking out.

_i’ve missed you too, dummy. are you good?_

Rosé didn’t take long to reply, almost opening the picture immediately. 

_parkchae97 is typing..._

_yes!!! i’ve just been exhausted, u know? idk. life is crazy sometimes_

Lisa sighed, deciding to not send another picture, but to just type instead. 

_i’m always here for you, rosie. please know that. u can tell me anything_

Lisa could see that Rosé opened that message, but her Bitmoji stayed still like she wasn’t typing. 

_parkchae97 is typing..._

_Snapchat from parkchae97!_

_duh :)_

Throughout the day, Lisa and Rosé exchanged messages, small-talk mostly, and Lisa didn’t necessarily mind, doing some Spring cleaning that was long overdue. 

She considered asking Seulgi over for help, but she didn’t want to bother her and there was a high chance she was with Joy, who probably didn’t want to clean either. 

Light music played from the speaker place on top of her headboard. She hummed to it, running a broom under her bed. 

She heard three knocks, her mother announced herself, and she walked in. 

"It smells good in here, Lalisa." She walked over to her desk and sat down. "Cleaning?"

Lisa peeked at her over her bed and pulled the broom out.

"Yeah, just making sure no dust or anything has gathered itself underneath here."

Lisa’s mother remained silent, so Lisa continued to clean, this time stripping her bedsheets to put on new ones. 

"Do you need me to do anything?" Lisa asked after she secured the last corner. 

"No, no. Just wanted to sit here." She crossed one leg over the other, giving Lisa a small smile. 

_Weird.._

Lisa raised an eyebrow but ultimately decided to not fight it, instead focusing on finishing her bed. 

"Lalisa..." She began and the latter almost rolled her eyes. 

"Mhm?"

"You’re older now, you know?"

"Yes?"

"You haven’t been spending a lot of time here. I’m not frustrated about it though... I’m glad you’ve found friends with good values." Lisa waited for her to continue. "I don’t know. Your father and I were thinking... Do you want to move out?"

Lisa’s eyes widened. 

Jesus, of course, she did. 

However, she had no job as of now, so she wasn’t sure how they expected her to pay for it. 

"How do you want me to pay for that?" Lisa asked, sitting on the edge of her bed and looking at her mother. 

"Until you get out of school, your father has offered to pay your living costs. I am surprised too, Lalisa. I didn’t want you moving out until after you finished getting a degree."

Lisa was confused, to say the least. 

"Are you saying you’re ready for me to move out or are you both practically kicking me out?" She crossed her arms over her chest, cocking her head to the side slightly. 

Her mother stayed silent, earning a quiet laugh from Lisa. 

She was kind of  _sick_ of how her parents acted like she was some new person- like she needed to move out as soon as possible so her gay germs wouldn’t infect the both of them. Even going to the lengths of paying for an apartment..

Lisa thought it was crazy. 

This was her home. No matter what happened between her and her parents, this is where she had lived for the majority of her life. This is where she was supposed to feel acceptance and peace. 

Yet, it was far from that. 

"I really hope that isn’t attitude."

Lisa shook her head. 

"No, it isn’t."

The last thing she wanted to do was argue. It would do her no good. If they wanted her to move out, she certainly would. 

"Just let your father and I know." Lisa’s mother stood and walked out, her daughter watching her the entire way. 

It was weird. 

Lisa wanted to leave. She did. 

She had longed for freedom ever since she was a teenager, but she suspected that’s how it was with everyone, so she ignored it and didn’t try to move out, even through all her years of schooling. 

She wanted to leave, yet there was a deep feeling in her chest, like someone had dug her heart out and it was now empty. 

She unlocked her phone and went to her contacts. Her thumb hovered above Dahyun and Rosé, her bottom lip between her teeth as she thought about who would be the better one to call. 

Dahyun hadn’t really been told about the situation with her parents. It was danced around. She knew that they had trouble accepting her, but that was about it. 

Dahyun was kind of her girlfriend, so that’s who she should call, wasn’t it?

It would only make sense. 

It was a classic predicament- her head versus her heart. 

She went with who she thought was best and soon it was ringing. 

" _Hello?_ "

"Rosé, can I come over?"

* * *

As expected, Rosé accepted, and Lisa quickly exited her house to go to the other girl's.

Luckily, both of her parents were elsewhere, her father at work and her mother in her bedroom, so she was able to slip out without being noticed.

Admittedly, Lisa sped.

She was ready to plant her feet in a place she felt accepted and to rant for however long Rosé allowed her to, which hopefully was at least for a couple hours.

When she got there, Rosé let her in immediately.

"Are you okay?" She asked, shutting her door behind Lisa, who was clearly frustrated.

"My mom just asked me if I wanted to move out." She paused and sat down. "You know, that would've been fine. It would've been perfectly fine if it felt like she was even giving me a choice. I could just  _feel_  that it truly wasn't an option. They want me out so bad that my stepfather is willing to pay. I just.. I don't get it, Rosie.. I don't."

When Lisa's voice wavered, Rosé immediately joined her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

"Hey, hey, hey.. You're okay Lisa." Rosé's hand dropped to the small of Lisa's back and she rubbed gentle circles over it. "They just don't understand."

"I'm their daughter. Shouldn't they at least try? Shouldn't they attempt to show me love instead of dragging me to fucking church and asking me to leave?"

Rosé nodded as she listened to her.

There wasn't much she could do besides that.

"I know what they did was wrong, but in retrospect, aren't you kind of thankful for it?" Rosé asked and Lisa laughed bitterly.

"Thankful?"

"If they hadn't taken you to the church, you wouldn't have met Jisoo. Then you wouldn't have met everyone else. Seulgi wouldn't have met Joy... It's a bad thing that happened, please don't think I don't understand that, but it brought so much good. Do you understand what I'm trying to say?" Rosé looked at Lisa, trying to meet her eyes.

Lisa looked up and pressed her lips together.

If she had the courage, Rosé wasn't straight, and Dahyun wasn't present in her life, she would've told her right there.

She would've told her that her worries ceased to exist when she looked at her. She would've asked if she could hear her heartbeat from where she was sitting.

Yet, she didn't have the courage, Rosé was straight, and Dahyun was present in her life, so all she could do was nod and accept the tight hug Rosé gave her.

And  _man_ , did Rosé give good hugs.

Lisa felt secure.

Rosé was giving her gentle squeezes and caressing her back.

Lisa could swear nothing was wrong in that moment.

When Rosé pulled back and leaned her forehead against Lisa's, staring straight into her eyes, the peace Lisa felt left her system and was quickly replaced with what felt like adrenaline.

"Lisa, you're amazing, okay? If your parents want you out, you have so many people opening doors for you to let you in, including me. You are loved, Lalisa. You have a home wherever you go."

Lisa nodded slowly and let out a shaky breath.

Rosé, again, proved she wasn't gonna make any of this easy.

At this distance, Lisa could feel her breaths. She could feel loose strands of hair tickling her cheeks.

Most importantly, she could feel how  _red_ her cheeks were, and Rosé wasn't moving.

Lisa cleared her throat and pulled away, her eyes finding anywhere else but Rosé.

"Are you okay?" She asked.

Lisa looked up at her for a moment and she appeared to be a bit frazzled.

Her cheeks were redder than her hair and Lisa hated to admit it, but she looked so cute.

"Yeah. I'm just tired."

"Come on, I remade my bed this morning, new sheets and everything. It's kind of late, so.. If you don't have anywhere to go, you can stay here? I have proper pajama sets and just over-sized t-shirts.. If you want, of course." Rosé rambled on and Lisa smiled.

_God, she was cute._

"That sounds good to me, as long as I'm not intruding."

Rosé shook her head quickly.

"Shut up, don't be silly." Rosé stood up and grabbed Lisa's hand.

She tugged her to her bedroom, turning off the living room and kitchen lights as she exited.

When Lisa walked in, she almost laughed because of how  _Rosé_ Rosé's room was.

She had an Australian flag hung behind her headboard, a string of lights against one of her walls, with pictures clipped onto them, and numerous paintings and quotes on the more empty spaces.

Lisa walked up to the pictures and ran her finger over them slowly, smiling as she studied them.

Pictured in front of her was a younger Rosé and Jisoo, arms wrapped around each other and wide smiles on their faces. Lisa assumed they were both around 16 or 17 in them.

"Yah, Lisa. Some of those are ugly." Rosé joined her and Lisa shook her head.

"Shut up. Nothing with you in it is ugly." She responded and Rosé laughed shyly, her head dipping down in response to the compliment.

Lisa continued to look along the pictures, letting audible 'awe's' fall out every time she saw baby Rosé pictures.

She was surprised to see a picture of herself on there- the ones they took the night of the dinner and the park with Jennie and Jisoo.

"Oh.. That's.. I told you I liked them." Rosé settled herself on the bed. "I have all of the people I care about up there.. My parents, Jisoo, Jennie, the people from the choir, people back home in Australia, and well, now you."

Lisa couldn't use another word besides warm to describe how she felt.

Rosé was so naturally good.

She believed there was no way anyone could be taught to be like her.

She was sweet, genuine, and constantly had the best intentions.

Lisa turned around to face her and gave her cheeks a light squeeze.

"Thank you, Rosé. I care about you too."

Rosé leaned into Lisa's hand and smiled.

"Do you want me to draw you a bath? Or a shower? I take showers in the morning, so it can be all yours for tonight. Maybe the hot water can make you feel better?" Rosé suggested and stood, gesturing towards a closed door.

"Would a shower be okay? You're already doing a lot for me, Rosie. I feel like I'm asking too much."

"Lalisa Manoban, be quiet. I'm turning on that shower right now and you're gonna have the best shower of your life."

Rosé did exactly as she was told and began the shower. Lisa could hear her rumbling around and she assumed she was getting together towels for her.

Lisa's phone buzzed and when she looked at it, she saw she had a few texts from her mother and one from Dahyun.

Regretfully, she opened her mother's first.

_Lisa, where did you go?_

_Answer quickly._

She sighed.

At least she wasn't yelled at.

_i'm staying the night at rosé's_

_couldn't find you so i just left._

Lisa hoped her passive aggressive tone couldn't be noticed through text.

After all, she did use a period.

Dahyun's text was much more mellow and Lisa wished she had just opened that one and ignored her mother's all together.

_hey, you. are you okay? you haven't texted in awhile, i'm a bit worried. call me later, ya?_

Lisa typed a quick response, Rosé coming back in and rummaging through her drawers for clothes Lisa could sleep in for the night.

_i'm good :) mom annoyed me so i'm staying the night with rosie. i'll call you in like 20 mins_

Lisa put her phone down on Rosé's bed and accepted the clothes she got from her.

Rosé settled on giving her a big shirt instead of a pajama set and she was so thankful she shaved her legs the night before.

She thanked her again and excused herself to shower.

Rosé was right. The hot water did make her feel better, plus the water pressure was almost like she was getting a massage. 

Lisa felt apologetic, considering she was almost positive that she used up all the hot water.

Once she finished, she grabbed a towel and dried herself off, folding it and placing it on top of the counter.

She changed into the clothes Rosé gave her and took a deep breath.

The large shirt almost went to her knees and it smelled just like Rosé, which relaxed her even further.

She noticed a hair-tie on the bathroom counter so she picked it up and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

By the time she was out, Rosé had changed into a shirt similar to the one Lisa was wearing and was laying on top of her bed. She had her phone up to her face but when she heard the familiar squeak of her bathroom door, she looked up at Lisa and smiled.

"Feel better?" She asked and patted the spot next to her. "Come on, I found an extra charger and plugged your phone in. Hope you didn't mind."

"Jesus, Rosie. I feel like I'm staying at a five star hotel." Lisa teased her playfully and joined her on the bed. "But really, thank you. It's probably hard to understand where I'm coming from because what my mother said doesn't seem malevolent, but I just know where she's coming from, you know?"

Rosé nodded and gave Lisa's bare knee a soft squeeze.

"Don't worry about it."

Lisa did as she promised and called Dahyun, who bombarded her with questions about what happened and if she was sure she was okay.

"It's fine, I promise."

" _Are you sure? Do you want to come over?_ "

"No, no. It's okay. Rosé is taking care of me."

She who was named looked at Lisa and smiled, giving her a small wink.

" _Oh, okay._ _It's late so I'm gonna go to sleep._ "

Lisa raised her eyebrows at the sudden goodbye.

"Okay. Goodnight, Dahyun. Thank you for calling."

The three tones signaled she hung up and Lisa let out a soft 'hm.'

Lisa opened Snapchat and took a picture of her forehead, the Australian flag in the background with the caption ' _u see this'_ and sent it to Jisoo and Seulgi.

"Are you making fun of me?" Rosé asked and Lisa laughed shaking her head.

"Me? Making fun of you? Never Rosiebear."

Rosé responded by making an audible gagging noise.

"For the sake of my stomach, please never call me that again."

_k1mjisoo is typing..._

_Snapchat from k1mjisoo!_

_are you at chaeyoung's????????_

Lisa double-tapped her screen to open the camera and took a picture with Rosé in the background, aimlessly scrolling through Instagram.

_who else do we know that has a flag like that in their bedroom? :p_

"Stop taking pictures of me, loser. Or at least tell me so I can make my hair look better."

Lisa rolled her eyes.

_k1mjisoo is typing..._

_Snapchat from k1mjisoo!_

_what about dahyun?_

Lisa furrowed her eyebrows together.

_Snapchat to k1mjisoo!_

_what do u mean?_

Jisoo opened it almost immediately.

_k1mjisoo is typing..._

_Snapchat from k1mjisoo!_

_idk. i just thought you would go to her. i thought u were over it_

Lisa loved Jisoo.

She really did.

But,  _God_ , nothing would be more beautiful than her minding her business.

_Snapchat to k1mjisoo!_

_over what_

She knew what she was talking about, but it was easier playing dumb than getting another lecture from Jisoo about how straight Rosé was and how inconvenient her feelings were for her.

_k1mjisoo is typing..._

_Snapchat from k1mjisoo!_

_i'm just saying lisa.. i thought you liked dahyun now? you and chaeyoung haven't even been talking as much_

Lisa clenched her jaw.

_Snapchat to k1mjisoo!_

_omg_

_rosie is still my friend_

_and i'm sure you know how good she is at comforting people. i called dahyun while i was over here and assured her that i was ok. so what's the big deal? rosie and me are fine. we're about to go to sleep_

Probably not, but she didn't feel like talking with Jisoo about it anymore.

Lisa found it odd that Rosé's phone was buzzing in between her texts with Jisoo, but she decided to ignore it and pull the covers back so she could get underneath them.

"I was gonna watch Titanic tonight, but if you don't like that movie we can try something else?" Rosé suggested, picking up the remote and turning her TV on.

"I'm fine with that. I probably will fall asleep in the next hour or so."

Lisa couldn't have been more wrong.

Titanic is a fairly long movie and Lisa made it to the end, her eyes red from crying.

Rosé was nestled into her shoulder, sniffling as well.

"Why couldn't they have taken turns?" Rosé wiped her eyes on the material of the shirt Lisa was wearing. "So freaking stupid."

Rosé turned the television off and tossed the remote, clearly frustrated.

Lisa laughed through her tears.

"Rosie, it's just a movie. It's okay."

"This movie is lucky I'm tired. Otherwise, I would've left a strongly worded review on that tomatoes thing."

"Isn't that for critics only? Even if it wasn't, this movie is old, so.. Would it even count?"

"You're crushing my dreams, Lisa!" Rosé whined and cuddled further into Lisa's shoulder. "I'm sorry if I leech onto you in the middle of the night. I usually sleep with a body pillow because I like cuddling but I didn't want to put it between us and make you feel like there was supposed to be a line between us. Plus, why a body pillow when there's like.. literally a body?"

Lisa cleared her throat nervously.

Rosé cuddling with her would surely be a death sentence.

But, what was she gonna do? Say no?

Lisa leaned over and turned the last remaining light off before snuggling into Rosé's bed and making herself comfortable.

Rosé lazily draped her hand over Lisa's waist and scooted closer to her, her nose gently pressing against the back of her neck.

Lisa felt goosebumps rise on her skin, but she closed her eyes and hoped Rosé couldn't tell how nervous she was making her.

"Goodnight, Lisa." Rosé spoke quietly.

"Goodnight, Rosie." Lisa returned, but she could tell Rosé was soon off to sleep.

Momentarily, Lisa allowed herself to think.

She almost felt dirty- like she was doing Dahyun wrong. Rosé didn't think anything of it, so it surely didn't matter to her, but Lisa wanted to be closer.

Lisa wanted to do this more often.

She could hear Jisoo lecturing her in the back of her head, like the better version of her mother, if she found out about Rosé cuddling her.

_Why not Dahyun, Lisa? Chaeyoung is straight, Lisa. You're gonna get hurt, Lisa. What if Rosé is actually gay, Lisa? She's lying to me, Lisa._

This couldn't be that big of a deal.

Rosé was like this to everyone.

She was naturally touchy and Lisa was no different, so she really wished her heart would mind its business.

With one last deep breath, Lisa allowed herself to sleep and dream of a world where this was only normal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> there were a lot of breaks in this chapter, sorry lol... but double update. surprise!


	10. Chapter 10

Waking up next to Rosé was something Lisa never thought could happen. Yet, here she was, more than comfortable, as she felt Rosé's chest rise and fall against her back.

They had stayed in the same position all night, much to Lisa's surprise, because she was usually restless.

She didn't want to wake her, so she gently reached over for her phone to check if she had gotten any messages.

_Snapchat (3):_

_Snapchat from k1mjisoo!_

_Snapchat from kangseulgi!_

_Snapchat from dahyunkm!_

She gently face-palmed and sighed, trying to keep her movement minimal, because Rosé was clearly comfortable.

And, well, so was she.

Lisa clicked on Seulgi's first.

_bro_

_are you at rosé's????_

_you're so stupid hahahahahahaha_

Lisa almost scoffed, but quickly remembered where she was.

She took a quick picture of her shoulder, which Rosé was nuzzled into.

_Snapchat to kangseulgi!_

_[Image attached] sry i'm stupid, i literally cannot escape her_

She didn't think Dahyun suspected that she had feelings for Rosé, so she decided to open hers next.

_hi, love. sorry i hung up so quickly_

Lisa breathed a sigh of relief and quickly typed a reply, leaving the picture responses for Seulgi, assuming that sending a picture of Rosé cuddled up to her to Dahyun wouldn't be the smartest idea.

_Snapchat to dahyunkm!_

_you're fine :) i'm sure you were tired_

Jisoo's message, however, she wasn't necessarily looking forward to, but tomorrow was a quick rehearsal before church and if she hadn't talked to her about it now, she knew Jisoo would want to in person. As Lisa has proved time and time again, talking about her feelings in person was not her strong suit.

_i'm concerned about you, lisa. i know i'm probably coming off as an asshole, but i'm worried. i know how easy it is to like chaeyoung. i've seen many people do it, even girls like you. she flirts without knowing it and clings onto people like she would do if she was dating them. i'm her best friend and along with everyone else, of course i'm questioning if she has feelings for you or not. i'm sure you are too. dahyun didn't want me saying anything, but she even asked me if rosé felt for you. it's confusing for all of us, but i can't even imagine what it's like for her if she's feeling that way. i care about her. please be careful. i'd request the same thing from her if i even had a clue about how she'd respond_

Lisa chewed the side of her cheek.

She really didn't know how to respond, so she didn't.

She carefully slipped out of Rosé's hold and made her way to the bathroom, pulling the over-sized shirt down on the way.

Closing the door quietly behind her, she began to run warm water. She grabbed a handful and splashed it on her face, hoping to both wake herself up and clean her pores. She used the towel from her shower yesterday to dry her face and walked back in Rosé's bedroom.

When she did so, she was met with Rosé's eyes.

"Good morning." Rosé greeted her and stretched her arms above her head, yawning slightly.

Lisa bit her lip, ignoring the raging butterflies fluttering in the pit of her stomach.

"Morning." Lisa responded and walked back over to the bed to get her phone.

"Sleep well?"

Lisa nodded and smiled at her.

"You seemed pretty comfortable, too." She teased, earning a playful eye roll from Rosé.

"I told you, Lalisa. I'm a lover."

"Mhm.” She paused for a moment. "Do you have any clothes I can wear out of here?"

"My style is poor compared to yours." Rosé stood and opened her closet door, pouting slightly. "Of course, though."

She grabbed a loose fitting sweater and handed it to Lisa, along with a pair of slightly acid washed jeans. 

"Thanks." Lisa took them from her and put the jeans on first, looking around cautiously for any mirrors before she pulled her shirt off. 

Rosé cleared her throat. 

"Do you, um, do you want a bra? I didn’t get one for you originally because of how big the sweatshirt is, but.." 

Lisa turned her head around, her back still to Rosé.

"I’m good. I’m already stealing your clothes, so I don’t wanna take anymore." Lisa responded and turned back around, pulling the sweater over her head and pulling her long blonde hair out of it. "Mind if I clean myself up a little bit?"

Rosé blinked and shook her head after a few seconds. 

"Sorry, I don’t mind." Rosé laughed sheepishly and rubbed the back of her neck. 

Lisa raised her eyebrows at the other girl, who for the first time that she had seen, looked a little bit shy.

Instead of teasing her about it, Lisa went into the bathroom and hoped that Rosé had everything to make her  _not_ look like she had just woken up.

She did it quickly, Rosé luckily laying out everything Lisa could've used, including a new toothbrush.

Lisa knew Rosé was good, but she couldn't believe that she had done all of this just so she was comfortable.

She could've made her sleep on the couch with the clothes she wore over and she would've still been happy.

But, no, Rosé dug up a never before used toothbrush. She gave her clothes. She allowed her to sleep in her bed. Her hands were ready to wipe Lisa's tears, if any had fallen.

"Rosie?" Lisa called for her quietly when she entered the room.

Rosé looked up at her curiously from where she was standing, waiting for her to speak.

"I really appreciate all of this.. You have no idea." Lisa stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her shoulders, enveloping her in a secure hug, which Rosé quickly reciprocated.

"Anytime you need me, I'm here." Rosé spoke against her sweater and Lisa gave her one last squeeze before pulling away.

"I'm gonna go home. Thank you again."

Rosé walked Lisa out, making sure that, even if it was close, she got to her car safely.

Lisa's trip home was filled with a racing heart and clammy hands.

 _God_ , she didn't understand.

She didn't get why the universe made her meet Rosé and feel the things she felt for her. She didn't get why Jisoo couldn't leave it alone and let Lisa fall into Rosé, no matter how much she would probably live to regret it later on. She didn't get why her heart didn't clench at the thought of being mentally unfaithful to Dahyun, even if they weren't officially together and she was positive that the only time she didn't talk to Momo was when Lisa was near her.

It was incredibly frustrating.

She wanted her feelings for Rosé gone.

She wanted to just see her has a friend, but the way Rosé insisted on cuddling with her and Lisa didn't even think to argue told her it was likely it would be a long time before that happened, if at all.

Lisa felt like she was cheating and it was  _so fucking stupid_ , because all her and Dahyun had done was go on a few dates and kiss.

No commitment was mentioned.

And truthfully, Lisa was glad for it.

Dahyun was great. Lisa knew that, but her heart didn't long to be in her arms.

She didn't smell like safety and home.

She was stretching herself much too thin and it was a matter of time before she broke completely.

Lisa could put her feelings to the side as much as she wanted. She could stick what she wanted to say to the back of her tongue and leave it there, but it wouldn't change anything. Jisoo would still know and watch Rosé and Lisa's interactions, continuously questioning if her best friend was lying to her or not. Seulgi would continue to be upset that Lisa had trouble letting her in. And who knew what Jennie knew? Her secret runaways to talk to Rosé hadn't been unnoticed by Lisa. They had grown closer when her and Lisa grew further apart. 

Throughout her life, whenever she was incredibly frustrated, the only thing Lisa knew to do was blow off steam.

So when she took a sharp left instead of turning into her neighborhood, her body began to twitch in anticipation.

* * *

The boxing gym had always been a safe space for Lisa.

As an Aries, probably the most temperamental of the fire signs, she sought out ways to handle her anger healthily, and this was what had worked best.

Running on a treadmill was okay. Doing exercises like push-ups and burpees made her feel pain and it reminded her that she was alive, but the grunt that came with swinging at a bag and the satisfaction that came with the trainer struggling to keep the bag still always worked best.

She was lucky enough that sometime ago, she thought ahead. A bag of gym clothes were stuffed in her backseat floorboard and she changed as quickly as possible.

As she walked up to the glass doors, she could hear her pulse in her ears, and she thanked God for some alone time to work out her feelings.

After paying a fee for a two hour training period, she was matched up with a trainer and taken to the open area to first warm-up on a hanging bag.

"You been here before?" He asked and Lisa nodded in response, tightening her ponytail and slipping on the gloves she received. "Got something on your mind, hm?"

Lisa looked at him.

"Ah, two kinds of people come in here. Those who box for habit and sport and those who need to punch the hell out of something. You have the face of the latter."

She nodded slowly and tightened the hook and loop.

Her trainer placed himself behind the bag.

"Done this before?"

Lisa nodded.

"Get in stance- one foot in front of the other, back foot angled. Bend your knees a bit."

Lisa did what she was told and brought her fists up to her face.

"Lower them a little bit, Lisa. You need peripheral vision. Whatever hand is your dominant one, have it higher."

Lisa positioned herself correctly and looked at him for further direction.

"Left jab."

_Bang._

"Left jab, again."

_Bang._

"Left jab. When it's halfway back, use your right, full force."

Now, Lisa was getting into it.

_Bang, bang._

"Again. A few one, two's."

_Bang._

_Bang._

_Bang, bang._

_Bang, bang._

Lisa continued getting basic punches in until sweat dripped down her face and her trainer decided she could handle it.

"Pad work, let's go." He gestured for Lisa to follow him and she did it closely behind, wiping the sweat off of her forehead during her short break.

Her trainer, who she learned was named Mingyu, slipped on pads and held them up, letting Lisa get a few swings in before he began alternating.

"Watch closely."

If Lisa could choose a favorite part, this would be it.

Over the next hour, Mingyu switched from bringing the pads up and down while calling out when Lisa was to swing to not calling out at all, allowing her do think for herself. He then moved onto teaching her to dodge punches and,  _God_ , it got her blood pumping.

Her bangs began to stick to her forehead and her tank-top clung to her back. 

The strength of Lisa's punches never faulted and Lisa couldn't tell if the man in front of her was impressed or usually had clients with high energy that he pushed harder.

After twenty minutes or so of dodging and throwing punches, Mingyu suggested a water break and Lisa happily obliged.

He jogged over to the large fridge and grabbed two waters, tossing one to Lisa while he was a couple feet in front of her.

"You excel in this. Ever thought of doing it more often?" Mingyu asked after he took a small sip of water.

"Not really. I enjoy it a lot, but it's just a way to relieve stress." Lisa responded and took a deep breath.

"Ah, she speaks." Mingyu grabbed a towel from a nearby rack and handed it to Lisa so she was able to wipe her sweat.

Lisa shrugged.

She was kind of apologetic she hadn't said a word the past hour and a half, but she had other things on her mind than small talk.

"I'm sorry if I came across as rude." She offered anyway and the trainer waved his hand to dismiss her. 

"Don't worry about it. Some people come here and don’t shut up at all.. Like they paid money to chat instead of box." Mingyu grabbed a towel from a nearby rack and handed it to Lisa so she could wipe her sweat off. 

Lisa thanked him with a nod of her head and dried off what she could, though not sure why, considering they still had half an hour remaining. 

Lisa assumed it was because Mingyu was a nice guy that wanted to make her comfortable in an atmosphere like this. 

"Feel like going for a round in the ring?" He asked and Lisa nodded enthusiastically. Though she had been here before, she had never had Mingyu, and no one ever offered her to fight one on one in the ring. 

Lisa dropped the towel in the same place Mingyu dropped his pad work gloves and watched as he replaced them with gloves similar to those she was wearing. He led her up to the small ring and a few eyes lingered on the both of them. 

It was most likely because all they did was see Lisa as a small-waisted girl who could  _absolutely not_ beat a muscular guy like Mingyu.

Lisa really had a desire to prove them wrong. 

So, she stood in one corner of the ring until Mingyu signaled for her to move towards him, the 'fight' beginning. 

"Whatever you want to fight, it's me. I'm that person- that thing. Whatever it is. Don't be afraid to use your force. You won't hurt me."

Whatever frustration was felt, Lisa punched it out of her. 

Mingyu got her a couple of times, but the padding on the glove didn't allow it to actually hurt her, so she wasn't too concerned. She successfully dodged many punches from Mingyu and landed successful ones in return over the next half hour, and she was regretful to have to leave, as their time had run up and Mingyu had another client to attend to in the next few minutes. 

"Enjoyed it, Lisa. Request me next time, it's nice to have someone in here serious about learning. I had fun." Mingyu offered a polite bow and Lisa returning it, smiling gently at him. 

"Thank you. I feel a lot better now." Lisa left it at that, giving the trainer one last wave before turning around and heading back out the door. 

The slightly chilly air felt wonderful against her glistening skin and she stood outside of her car for a moment to bathe it in.

When she was cooled off, she returned to her car and picked up her phone which she had left in the glovebox to avoid distraction. 

Surprisingly, she didn't have many notifications. 

Just a few from her mother and father, asking her where she was, and Rosé wondering if she had gotten home safely.

She assured them all that she was fine and apologized for forgetting her phone.

She almost started driving, that is, until Seulgi's contact name popped up on her phone, and her phone began buzzing relentlessly. 

"Hello?" Lisa held her phone between her ear and shoulder, keeping it safe while she began the short drive home. 

" _How was last night?_ " Seulgi asked and Lisa pressed her lips together. 

"Good." She answered simply, focusing most of her attention on the road.

" _Only good?_ " 

Lisa raised her eyebrows and responded with a quiet "Mhm."

" _Are you feeling okay?_ " She continued to prod and Lisa sighed quietly, hoping she wasn't heard. 

"Yeah, why?"

" _Well, I lurked on your Snapchat location._ "

Lisa laughed as she pulled into her driveway. 

"I'm good. I just got home so I have to deal with my parents and then I'll text you, okay?" Lisa spoke and pulled her keys out of the ignition, grabbing her clothes, well, Rosé’s clothes, and bringing them inside. 

Seulgi said her goodbyes and hung up before Lisa's parents could say anything.

"How was your night?" Lisa's stepfather asked, Lisa walking into the kitchen to get a water. 

"Good." Lisa cracked it open and took a sip. "How was yours?"

"Cooked dinner for your mother. Didn't know you'd be gone so there's leftovers when you're hungry."

Lisa nodded and excused herself, her water in one hand and the extra clothes in the other. 

When she got to her room, she hung the clothes up and cleaned up, making sure she wasn't completely disgusting before she crawled in her clean bed. 

Lisa truly did feel better. 

It didn't make it go away, of course. She didn't think anything or anyone would, but it was good for her.

With her feelings for Rosé growing each second of the day, whether she was around or not, she couldn't just fight it. She could keep ignoring it and spending her time with Dahyun, but it would soon grow unfair to the both of them, even if Dahyun wasn't over Momo either. 

It was like they had an unspoken deal- her and Dahyun. 

Lisa could forget Rosé and Dahyun could forget Momo. 

Lisa’s feelings for Rosé weren't close to what Dahyun felt for Momo, obviously. Dahyun had years worth of feelings built up. Lisa had months. 

It still didn't make it any easier and it still didn't make her feel any better that when she was without Dahyun, she missed Rosé.

Lisa just hoped it would get better. 

The feelings Rosé gave her were wonderful. They made her light up, but then she was reminded by either Jisoo or her brain that Rosé just  _wasn’t_ going to want her the way Lisa did. 

She shook her head. 

There was no use in getting herself worked up again. She couldn't afford multiple training sessions a week, much less a day. 

So, Lisa tried to forget by keeping herself busy. 

It was the only thing she could do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what’s wrong with me and the constant updates


	11. Chapter 11

Lisa was so nervous. 

It was finally time for her first performance in the church choir, and although multiple Sundays had passed since she had been accepted, Jisoo excused her from performing so she could learn the music properly, and not just be there to be there. 

Dahyun made a point to tell her that she was going to be there to support her, and Lisa thought that was sweet. 

She knew Rosé had a solo, but she hadn't heard it. She learned that Rosé had a thing about practicing her solos in private where she could do her best work.

Her parents were also gonna be there, which was nice, she guessed. 

Walking through the large church doors, Lisa took a deep breath. 

She met Jisoo's eyes immediately, and the other girl rushed towards her.

"Lisa! How are you feeling? Are you nervous? Excited?" Jisoo spoke quickly, placing a hand on Lisa’s upper arm. 

"A bit nervous, to be honest, but it should be fine, right?" Lisa played with her fingers and Jisoo gave her a gentle squeeze. 

"It should be great." Jisoo nodded to reassure her, walking away afterwards to set everything up. 

Lisa simply stood, waiting for instruction by Jisoo. 

Her eyes wandered and she was a bit disappointed to see that Rosé was nowhere to be found. She knew she’d be here eventually, but it would have been nice to hear her wish her good luck. 

Coincidentally, Rosé came through a small set of doors, her eyes on the floor. 

She waited for her to look up so she should greet her, but she never did. 

"Oh, Rosé's got secrets, huh?" She turned to her left at the familiar voice and saw Dahyun. 

"What?" Lisa asked, looking at her, confused. 

"Ah, I forget you haven't really had any experience with the Catholic church. Have you ever seen the booth looking thing in movies in a church where they confess to their sins? The whole 'Bless me Father, for I have sinned' thing?" Dahyun looked at her to see if she was paying attention and Lisa nodded. "There's one through those doors. She went to a confession."

Lisa's mouth made an 'O' shape as she put together what Dahyun said.

"You ever had to do it?" Lisa teased, bumping shoulders with Dahyun as she began to walk towards the stage, Jisoo calling for everyone to come up for a 15 minute rehearsal before mass. 

"Duh." Dahyun winked and let her go, choosing a seat close to the front, right in front of the choir. 

Lisa found her spot on the stage, which was in the alto section, further to the sopranos because she was in the higher range of altos. 

Rosé stood next to Lisa, the sopranos on one side of them and the tenors on the other, the basses even further away. 

"Hey, how are you?" Lisa leaned over to Rosé and whispered and the other girl jumped slightly. 

"Shoot, sorry. I'm good." Rosé laughed quietly, trying her hardest not to disrupt anyone as they were getting ready. 

"Dahyun saw you walk out of confessionals and explained to me what it was. You got secrets, huh?" Lisa teased and expected Rosé to laugh, but the small smile on her face faded. 

"Dahyun shouldn't be talking about me." She responded and Lisa furrowed her eyebrows together. 

"Hey, I was with her. She could tell I was looking at you and wondering where you were." Lisa watched Rosé, looking for her classic puppy face, but Rosé continued to look forward, her plump lips almost pressed into a line.

"Hm." Rosé opened her binder full of music and ran through it quickly, studying her solo during the extra time given.

Lisa had never seen her irritated, so she was a bit confused, but she decided to let it go. It probably wouldn't be the most appropriate thing to try and discuss it with her onstage in front of everyone in the choir, along with Dahyun in the crowd. 

Once Jisoo worked everything out, rehearsal began and every few minutes, Lisa would glance at Rosé, who was fully immersed in her music.

Lisa tried, she did, but she had never experienced Rosé being almost hostile, so it was giving her a bit of whiplash.

Maybe she just woke up in a bad mood. That's the only sense she could make out of it. 

After the short rehearsal, churchgoers began entering the building, and the choir sat down, waiting for their turn. 

As mass went on, Jisoo’s dad preached as expected and everyone paid close attention. 

Lisa felt like she blinked and it was already over- the last part being the choir singing. 

They all stood and placed their music to the side. 

It was a four part piece, sopranos and tenors breaking into two parts every once in awhile. Lisa actually liked it. She thought it was gorgeous, and she couldn't wait to hear what Rosé did with the solo. 

" _Who breaks the power of sin and darkness?_  
_Whose love is mighty and so much stronger?_  
_The King of Glory, the King above all kings_."

Lisa breathed in. 

It wasn't too bad. 

" _Who shakes the whole earth with holy thunder_  
_And leaves us breathless in awe and wonder?_  
_The King of Glory, the King above all kings_."

Really, not too bad. 

But she knew it was about to get even better, because the chorus belonged to Rosé, who she looked at as she moved through the choir and to the front of the stage. 

" _This is amazing grace_  
_This is unfailing love_  
_That You would take my place_  
_That You would bear my cross_  
_You laid down Your life_  
_That I would be set free_  
_Oh, Jesus, I sing for all that You’ve done for me_."

Lisa felt an overwhelming sense of déjà vu.

All she could think about was seeing Rosé for the first time, the way the choir parted to let her through, and the way she was so _infatuated_ with her. 

It was the same way she felt now, except her heart was beating much faster and her head was racing much more than the first time around. 

Her voice made her freeze every time. 

Yet, Rosé's solo had finished, and she had to come back to reality, following through with the rest of the song. 

Once it was over, the group of people seated in front of them stood, and Lisa finally looked up. 

She spotted her parents, who were actually smiling, and Lisa had to clench her jaw to keep from crying, which was horribly humiliating. 

Rosé must've noticed, because in the middle of the choir, she grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers, giving it a soft squeeze. 

Lisa looked at her and it felt like the noise of the room dulled. All she could pay attention to was Rosé. Rosé. Rosé. Rosé.

 _God_ , she didn't want to let go. 

But, she had to, because mass was over and Dahyun and her parents were making their way over to her.

Lisa broke the gaze her and Rosé were sharing and let go of her hand slowly, their pinkies grasping onto one another until they separated. 

Lisa caught one more look before she walked off of the stage. 

"Ah, my Lalisa. You did so well." Her mother opened her arms and Lisa's eyes widened. She felt odd for accepting it, but she didn't know what else to do, so she hugged her mother. 

The maternal warmth she had been missing for so long was odd, but her heart clenched, and she held on for all the days she felt mistreated and unloved. 

Her stepfather congratulated her, too, which also was weird. He wasn't a hugging person, but his level of happiness with Lisa’s achievements was the same as her mother’s from what she could tell. 

"See you at home. I'll let you chat with your friends." Her stepfather spoke and both of her parents waved goodbye, leaving her with only Dahyun. 

"Do you think I just don't notice?" Dahyun questioned and Lisa's eyes narrowed. 

"Excuse me?" Lisa responded, her tone a bit defensive. 

"The way you and Rosé look at each other.. Do you think I'm stupid?"

Lisa swallowed, literally feeling her face get pale. She looked around her for anyone that could've heard. 

"I don't understand what you're trying to say." Lisa picked at her cuticles nervously, her eyes darting from Dahyun to the hundreds of people passing them, exiting the church. 

"You know, I asked Jisoo if you and Rosé had been a thing, which was odd, considering Rosé is straight." Dahyun began and shook her head. "Now, I just think... Maybe, just  _maybe_ , I wasn't being overdramatic. I wasn't looking too far into it."

"Dahyun." Lisa warned and shook her head, practically begging her to stop. 

"You like her, don't you?"

The hostile energy had clearly got a few people’s attention, and Lisa looked around nervously. 

"Are you guys okay?" Jisoo asked, walking up to them, almost like she was standing between them. 

"Yes." Lisa responded.

"To what?" Dahyun butted in and Lisa looked at her again. 

"What?" She croaked out.

Her mouth was getting incredibly dry. 

"Were you answering my question or Jisoo's?"

Incredibly fucking dry. 

Lisa didn't know what the hell to say. She had no earthly idea.

"I know you're still in love with Momo, so why are you assuming anything about me? Can't you worry about that?"

Lisa regretted it as soon as it came out of her mouth. 

"Seriously?!" Dahyun raised her voice and Lisa cringed. 

She heard the clicking of heels behind her and she soon saw a flash of wavy, strawberry blonde hair next to her. 

"I'm still in love with Momo? So the hell what? I was with her for years, Lisa.  _Years_. Years and I still tried to offer you my full attention. You're too busy thinking about _her_ to even notice." Dahyun was almost yelling and Lisa’s heart was about to beat out of her fucking chest. 

"Dahyun, stop." Jisoo stepped between them completely and placed a hand on her chest, her face cold. 

Lisa was scared. 

Lisa was terrified her feelings were gonna be outed. She couldn't even look at Rosé, who was standing right beside her.

"I trusted you to tell me the truth, Jisoo." Dahyun shook her head bitterly. 

"I did." Jisoo stepped towards her. "Calm down or leave, Dahyun."

"If you did, you would've told me Rosé had feelings for her. You would've told me about Lisa, too. You would've at least warned me."

There it was. 

"Don't talk about things you don't know about, Dahyun. I'm serious." Jisoo continued and Lisa's eyes began to water. 

Rosé was still beside her.

She couldn't believe Dahyun had the nerve to say that. 

It didn't even sound like the Dahyun she knew. 

Dahyun looked like she was going to begin another sentence but was quickly shut up. 

"Get out." A voice from beside her spoke. 

Lisa looked up at Rosé, who was giving Dahyun the most intense look she had ever seen from her. 

"You out of all peo-"

"I don't know if you think I'm kidding or what." Rosé stepped in front of Lisa and Jisoo slowly moved out of the way. "Jisoo told you to leave and she owns this building. That means leave."

Dahyun looked at her for a few seconds and Lisa used the few moments of silence to get the  _hell_ away from all of them. 

Lisa rushed off to the bathroom and shut the door behind her. 

"What the  _fuck_?" She mumbled under her breath and made a quick movement to lock the door. 

Lisa didn't know what the hell Dahyun was thinking. 

Even if, somehow, Lisa gave away her feelings, what gives Dahyun the right to call her out in front of God knows how many people?

What gives her the right to out her to Rosé, the one she aches for?

God, Lisa couldn't even look at Rosé. 

She hoped Rosé didn't understand what Dahyun was saying. She wanted to get on her knees and pray that Rosé misunderstood. But, Rosé was smart. She was intelligent and beautiful and must have known the way Lisa felt about her now. 

Rosé would probably never talk to Lisa again and it destroyed her. 

It didn't matter what Jisoo, Jennie, Seulgi, Dahyun, or anyone thought. 

Lisa knew Rosé didn't feel the way she felt about her. 

She just didn't expect it to hurt this bad. Now that reality had set in and she had to face it, she couldn't run any longer. 

She couldn't blow it off when Seulgi brought it up. She couldn't go train with Mingyu.

It was there. 

And Rosé  _knew_.

_Knock, knock._

Lisa jumped. 

"Lisa, are you in here?" Jisoo asked and Lisa sniffled, walking over to the door and carefully unlocking it. 

Jisoo quickly opened it and looked at Lisa, heavily concerned. 

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I even pushed you guys together knowing how you felt about Rosie. I'm so sorry, Lisa." Jisoo stepped towards her and hugged her.

Lisa took a deep breath and hugged her back, giving her a soft squeeze to let her know it was okay. 

"Where's.." Lisa stopped herself and cleared her throat. 

"She left." Jisoo sighed and pulled away, placing a hand on Lisa's cheek. "She made sure Dahyun was gone and then she left."

Lisa rubbed two fingers over her temple and shook her head. 

"Shit." She mumbled, a small tear escaping her eye. 

"I called Seulgi and explained everything. She should be here any minute. Come on. Everyone outside is really concerned for you." Jisoo offered her hand and Lisa looked at it hesitantly. "They're here for you, Lisa."

The other girl nodded and followed Jisoo out, her eyes widening on the crowd gathered outside. 

It was the entire choir, all of them but Rosé, and Seulgi, who dragged Joy along with her. 

Seulgi broke apart from the group of people and went towards Lisa, eyeing her carefully.

"Are you okay?" She asked quietly. 

Lisa nodded. 

She might as well get used to the fact that Rosé would never want to talk to her after this, and lying was the first step. 

Seulgi didn't believe that. Why would she? Lisa was her best friend that should've known lying to Seulgi was of no use. 

Seulgi pressed her lips together and wrapped her arms around Lisa anyway, who closed her eyes at the contact and returned it gratefully. 

Soon, she felt a lot of warmth and she opened her eyes to see practically nothing, considering she was surrounded by everyone that was once a few feet from her in a large group hug. 

Lisa's chest felt tight. 

There were so many people around her, showing their love towards her, but Lisa saw it as pity. 

And all she wanted was Rosé's arms. 

* * *

 

Lisa was humiliated. 

Over the next few weeks, Rosé didn't reach out to her. 

Not once. 

She tried to act like it didn't bother her, especially when she was around her at rehearsals or Sundays when they would actually sing, but she couldn't. 

Rosé wouldn't even look at her and Lisa just _knew_ she fucked everything up. 

Lisa didn't even want to go to rehearsals anymore. 

She spent a lot of time at Seulgi's, because she knew if her parents asked her what was wrong, all of her feelings would spill out and she'd definitely be asked to leave the house then. 

Dahyun texted her multiple times and apologized for being so out of line.

She also texted her to let her know her and Momo were back together and she was sorry if it hurt her. 

It didn't.

Lisa ignored her. 

After a particularly long rehearsal, Lisa had enough. Her and Rosé's arms kept touching and it _crushed_ her. 

She resulted in excusing herself to go to the bathroom. 

Jisoo looked at her sadly and decided to leave her alone, quietly letting everyone know to do the same. 

Lisa locked the door behind her, as per usual and turned the faucet on, sighing as she began to wash her hands quickly. 

She missed the feeling of Rosé brushing against her, but, _fuck_ , she wanted it off. 

_Knock, knock, knock._

"Jisoo... I'm fine. Just washing my hands." Lisa walked to the door and unlocked it, opening it to reassure Jisoo she was fine. 

She blinked a few times once she realized it was in fact, not Jisoo. 

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." Rosé breathed out and Lisa furrowed her eyebrows together. 

"Rosie, wh-"

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned." She repeated, a bit more intense this time. 

Lisa looked at her, dumbstruck. 

"Please forgive me, for I am.." Rosé sucked in a breath through her teeth. 

"I don't know what you're doing, but, please, if you're trying to tell me in some weird Catholic way that you don't want me around anymore, that's f-"

"Lisa, please. Please shut the hell up."

Lisa’s eyes widened and she pressed her lips together. 

"Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. Months ago, I showed up to the Sunday church service like normal. I had the same solo I had for awhile. I was getting bored. I wanted to stop going. Then, I looked in the crowd and saw someone that made me come back in hopes I'd see them again. Then, they were around often, and it made me so happy. I wanted to be their friend so bad. So, I talked to them more. But, Father, I wanted so much more. I wanted to... I wanted to touch them. I wanted their hand in mine and I even had the balls at one point to hold them in the night. That night, I got no sleep. I was so glad her head wasn't on my chest, because my heart was beating so fast. Bless me, Father, for I have sinned, because I am falling in love with the girl who I thought was unattainable. I am falling in love with Lalisa Manoban, and I have no idea how to stop it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \- goodnight n go by ariana grande  
> \- spell by niki  
> \- i see you by missio  
> \- saw you in a dream by the japanese house  
> thank me being sick for the last FOUR updates in less than a week lmao wtf


	12. Chapter 12

"Sorry, but what?" Lisa's mouth was left wide open and she blinked slowly.

_What the fuck?_

"Um.." Rosé shifted nervously. "Was that too much?"

Lisa stood there for a few seconds, her jaw still practically to the floor, as she tried to process what just came out of Rosé's mouth. She tried her hardest to speak again, but she just  _couldn’t_.

Her brain was having a difficult time processing what Rosé had just told her. She couldn't figure out whether or not she had just imagined it or it had really happened, and truthfully, the idea that she had imagined it was much more realistic.

"Shit, oh my God.. I wasn't even sure if you felt the same way or if Dahyun was bluffing.." Rosé's face reflected panic and Lisa's face softened. "But clearly she was bluffing and.."

"Rosé.." Lisa spoke quietly but Rosé continued on, ranting about how stupid she was to confess when she had no idea how Lisa would react. 

"What the hell am I gonna do? How am I going to-"

"Rosé." Lisa said a little firmer and Rosé ceased her rant, looking straight at the other girl while she waited for her to speak.

Lisa took a deep breath and cleared her throat. 

How she was nervous when Rosé confessed first, she had no idea. 

"Of course I feel the same way." She began and Rosé visibly relaxed. "I just... I don't know. I can't understand it."

Rosé's eyebrows furrowed together.

"Understand what?" She stepped towards Lisa hesitantly.

"You liking me, I guess. When Jisoo or Seulgi would tell me you did and there was no way you didn't, it's like I would laugh in their face. Someone like you liking me is crazy. You're so beautiful, Rosie. Every single part of you is beautiful. When I first saw you, I was just... Shocked. So, you have to have some understanding why I'm surprised, don't you?" Lisa watched Rosé as she moved towards her and swallowed quietly, slightly intimidated, considering Rosé was wearing heels and Lisa was wearing flats. 

"I don't." Rosé's eyes locked with Lisa's and she reached out to her, hooking one of her fingers with hers. 

Lisa's stomach flipped at the contact. 

"Lisa.. You are _everything_ someone could ask for. How are you not able to see that? Why do you insist on minimizing how wonderful you are?" Rosé grabbed Lisa's hand completely and her breath hitched in the back of her throat. 

Lisa had held Rosé's hand before, of course, but this felt much different. She looked at their intertwined fingers before looking back at the girl in front of her.

She used her free hand to pinch her own hip, knowing _damn_ _well_ this had to be some sort of dream. 

"I, um.." Lisa unconsciously dropped her gaze to Rosé's lips, the other girl pulling the bottom one between her teeth in response. "I forgot what, um.. I forgot what to say."

Rosé laughed quietly and shook her head. 

"Do you have to say anything?" Rosé responded, releasing her bottom lip before she spoke and running her tongue over it gently. 

For the millionth time in the past few minutes, Lisa's heart skipped a beat. 

It was like with every passing second, they got closer and it got harder for her to breathe.

They were _so_ close and if Lisa's body wasn't buzzing, she swore she could've felt their lips brush, but the swift knock on the door separated them quickly.

"Is everything okay in here?" A familiar voice questioned and Jisoo's head peeked through the door, looking at them curiously. 

"Mhm." Rosé coughed out and eyed Lisa, who seemed a bit stiff from the sudden interruption. 

 _Fucking_ _Jisoo_ , she thought bitterly, but smiled at her sweetly. 

"We're good." Lisa got up off of the counter and stepped towards the bathroom door, looking back at Rosé for a second. "Ready?"

Rosé nodded and followed her out, Lisa hearing a shaky breath coming from the lips she was _so_ close to just moments before. 

A couple people from the choir had stayed behind, Lisa assuming that they had remained in the church to make sure she was okay. 

She assured them all that she was fine and they filed out, leaving only her, Rosé, and Jisoo.

"Did I walk in on something?" Jisoo looked at the both of them and Rosé shifted uncomfortably. 

"What do you mean?" Rosé answered and leaned back against the rows of seats provided for the mass. 

"Rosé." Jisoo looked at her intently.

"Jisoo." She retaliated.

Jisoo blinked a few times as she debated what to say. Lisa looked at her, practically pleading with her not to say anything. 

"Why are you pretending like you don't know?" Jisoo sat directly across from her and Lisa suddenly felt extremely uncomfortable.

"I'm gonna go." She gestured towards the large doors leading out but Jisoo raised her hand. 

"No, stay." Jisoo pointed towards the row behind Rosé and Lisa hesitantly walked towards it to sit down. 

Jisoo was a bit intimidating when she wanted to be, especially when her classic smile wasn't on her smooth lips. 

"Jisoo.." Rosé began but Jisoo laughed bitterly before she could continue. 

"I told you _everything_." Jisoo's tone had a certain bite to it and Lisa pressed her lips together, playing with her fingers nervously. "No matter what I believed your reaction to be. No matter what I expected from you, I told you anyway. And what, Chaeyoung? This is how I get repaid? You keeping secrets from me even though you knew how I'd react? You _knew_ the amount of unwavering support I'd offer you."

"I wasn't ready."

"You weren't-" Jisoo interrupted herself to laugh and shake her head. "You weren't ready? But when you were, the first person you told was Lisa? Bullshit, Rosé. Bullshit."

Jisoo stood up and excused herself.

If this was a cartoon from the 70's, Lisa would have been able to see the steam coming from Jisoo's ears. 

Rosé stood up and turned to Lisa. 

"I'll call you, okay?" Rosé hesitantly placed a hand on the back of Lisa's neck and leaned down, placing a soft kiss on her bang-covered forehead. 

Lisa gasped quietly, but had enough sense in her to nod. 

Rosé ran after Jisoo, calling her name, as she walked out the doors of the church. 

Lisa knew this was a conversation she could not intrude upon. It was better for her to just wait as patiently as she could.

After a few minutes, enough time for Rosé and Jisoo to wander off somewhere to talk, Lisa left the church and got into her car. 

Her first instinct was to dial Seulgi's number, so she did exactly that, and her best friend picked up quickly. 

" _Hey, what's up?_ " Seulgi answered and she heard slight shuffling in the background, like she was looking for something. 

"Seulgi, holy shit." Lisa began to go on and she started her car, allowing the AC to keep her cool amongst her quickly beating heart and heating up body. 

" _Huh?_ "

"Rosé.. She told me she had feelings for me."

The shuffling on the other line stopped and Lisa was faced with an intense silence for a few seconds. 

" _Excuse me?_ " Seulgi laughed in disbelief and Lisa heard her bed creak, leading her to assume she had sat down. " _I told you, Lisa. I don't know how many times I told your oblivious, stubborn, and insecure little ass._ "

Lisa rolled her eyes. 

"Please, I don't need you to tell me you told me so. Come on, Seulgi, I mean really. How likely is it that someone who I was told was straight really wasn't and was falling in love with me? Me?" Lisa went on and Seulgi let out a frustrated sigh. 

" _Lisa, how many times do I have to remind you? It's no wonder Rosé is falling for you. Hell, most of the people we've met have looked to me to see if you had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Stop doubting yourself and go see Rosé. She is waiting for you, Lisa. She is waiting for you and I know you've been waiting for her._ "

Lisa nodded slowly and looked at herself in the rear-view mirror.

"Okay." Lisa responded. It was all she could say before she hung up and took a deep breath. 

She, of course, didn't want to intrude in Jisoo and Rosé's important conversation, so she settled on waiting in the church parking lot, staring at her phone.

It felt like hours had gone by and her own thoughts began to run wild. 

What if she has changed her mind? What if Jisoo convinced her to not pursue her?

No, that was crazy. 

Jisoo would never. 

Lisa knew that, but her insecurities and her anxieties were the worst mix ever.

Lisa jumped when her phone started ringing and Rosé's contact name popped up on the screen. She stared at it for a few seconds and took a deep breath.

"Hello?" She held her phone up to her ear and leaned her head back against her seat. 

" _Hi, Lalisa."_ Rosé responded and _,_ as unbearably cheesy as it sounded _,_ Lisa smiled at the sound of her voice _._  " _Jisoo_ _and I talked it out. She's upset that I kept everything from her, but I understood that. I think we're both relieved that we aren't hiding anything from one another anymore._ "

"I'm glad. I hated that you two had to hide anything from each other in the first place." There was a few seconds of silence on both ends before Rosé cleared her throat and spoke hesitantly. 

" _Do you.. Wanna come over or something?_ "

Lisa blinked a few times. 

She felt bad, because she literally couldn't speak. 

" _Was that too much? Shit, I’m sorry. You don't have to. It’s fine._ "

"Rosie." Lisa cursed herself for losing her ability to speak. "Yes, of course I do."

Lisa heard Rosé laugh nervously on the other end. 

" _I’ll see you soon then_."

"You will."

Lisa inhaled deeply once she hung up the phone. 

This was fine. She was fine.

Lisa had to remind herself of that as she got closer to Rosé's house. 

She had been there before. She knew that. She had been in Rosé's arms before in that bed. She knew that, too. Yet, this time, it was all so different. 

It was hard for her to grasp where she was going and what she was doing. It all seemed like a dream to her. 

Her heart fluttered once she pulled up to Rosé's place. 

_Pinch me now._

It seemed Rosé was waiting on her, because as soon as Lisa pulled the keys out of her ignition, Rosé's front door open and there she stood. 

Her smile filled her plump cheeks and in return Lisa's heart.

"Hi." Rosé spoke as Lisa walked up the steps to her. 

"Hello." She responded, holding her hands together shyly. 

"Come in." Rosé smiled again and separated Lisa's hands with her own, grabbing one of hers and pulling her inside. 

Once the door closed, Rosé pulled Lisa to the couch. 

"So.." Rosé rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand and scrunched her nose up.

"If it means anything, I've been falling for you since the day I saw you." Lisa blurted and inwardly cringed at what came out of her mouth. 

It was true, of course. But it was just unbearably _soft_. 

"Really?" Rosé dropped the hand that was on the back of her neck to her lap and Lisa swallowed her fear, placing her hand on top of the other girls. 

"Really." Lisa began and squeezed Rosé's hand. "The moment you came out.. The moment you sang.. I just, I don't know. I felt like I knew that maybe, just maybe, my parents dragging me to church wasn't the worst thing in the world."

Rosé smiled widely and Lisa's heart fluttered in return. 

"I asked Jisoo who you were as soon as I could.. She didn't see it as, you know, me wanting to _know_ you. She probably assumed I was just confused over a new face.." Rosé looked down at their intertwined fingers. "Lisa, I... I think a part of me always knew I wasn't straight, I guess. I never did anything with girls. I never acted on the crushes or the lust. Then, I saw you. And I just knew I couldn't leave it alone anymore. I knew I couldn't push it to the back of my mind and push everything I wanted to say to you to the back of my mouth. This is crazy. It's all so fucking crazy, Lalisa."

Lisa felt like her entire body was buzzing again. She figured that, possibly, it was a common occurrence whenever she was around the other girl. Her hands ached to be cupping Rosé's face. Her forehead ached to be in the crook of Rosé's neck. Her lips ached to be on Rosé's. 

She just ached for _her_.

"Yeah, crazy." Was all Lisa could get out without her voice shaking. 

Rosé turned her body so she was sat on the couch facing Lisa, her legs crossed in front of her.

"I don't want to scare you. I don't want to move too fast for you.." Rosé let go of Lisa's hand and placed both of hers on her thighs. "But, I do want to be honest with you."

Lisa nodded as she listened to her. 

There wasn't much else she could do. 

She was speechless. 

"Is that okay with you?" Rosé spoke quietly and scooted closer to Lisa, who nodded again. 

Lisa wished she could say something, _anything_ , but the only thing that was running through her mind at the moment was how badly she wanted to kiss Rosé.

She felt like she had been waiting for it for God knows how long.

So, when her eyes found Rosé's lips again, it was like everything around her became a blur. She could tell Rosé was eyeing her, but she couldn't read her face because all she could do was just _stare_.

"I don't want to move too fast for you.." Rosé repeated and Lisa looked up at her eyes, almost jumping at how close they had gotten in the last few seconds.

"You're not."

It was all Lisa had to say before Rosé crawled on her lap and wrapped her arms around her neck. 

Lisa truly felt like her lungs were about to fail her.

This had to be the most wonderful, yet cruel dream, she had ever had. 

Lisa felt Rosé's hands tangle in her hair and she closed her eyes, marveling at the feeling of how wonderfully close she was to her. 

After a few seconds, she opened them again to see Rosé looking directly at her. 

"You're beautiful, Lalisa.." She slowly ran her fingers through her hair and Lisa took a deep breath. 

Hell, she couldn't take this anymore. She couldn't wait another second. 

Lisa blocked out every nerve and negative feeling and just acted on what her heart was begging her to. 

Lisa kissed Rosé.

And she didn't think there wasn’t anything more beautiful. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone! i just wanted to make clear that this fic is not based off of the joke that rosé is some church girl that is often made fun of. this was just an idea i thought of and i felt more comfortable writing from lisa’s point of view because i am more similar to her and how her parents reacted really hit home with me. i love rosie and i know how important her faith is to her and i’d never poke fun at it :) thanks guys  
> btw!!!! sorry for not updating for a little bit. i was going through a pretty rough breakup. buuuut on the plus side, i saw bp in fort worth!!!! and i got barricade + a selfie with jisoo. PERIOD!


	13. Chapter 13

Lisa was losing her absolute _shit_.

There was no way any of this could have actually been happening.

Rosé wasn't kissing her right now. It wasn't possible.

Yet, when Rosé grasped Lisa's hair between her nimble fingers to pull her closer, her mind and her heart allowed her to believe it for a moment.

Lisa pulled away to look at her, their foreheads touching and their cheeks hot, and laughed nervously.

"Shit, Rosé.." She breathed.

She slowly placed a few of her fingers on her own arm to give herself a small pinch.

Just a precaution, that's all.

"Chaeyoung."

"Huh?" Lisa looked at her, slightly confused.

"I don't let people call me Chaeyoung unless I know them well enough." Rosé tucked a piece of Lisa's hair behind her ear. "So, call me Chaeyoung."

"Thank you." Lisa cringed at how soft her tone came across.

"For what?"

"I don't know.. I've just never met anyone like you. I haven't been so excited to go places and see someone there in a very long time. Jisoo and Seulgi teased me everyday, warned me, even. But, I just couldn't believe them." Lisa laughed sheepishly and Rosé cupped her cheeks, pulling her face forward and giving her a soft kiss on her forehead.

"Lisa, I'm sorry you felt that way." Rosé sighed. "I'm sorry if I'm moving fast, but I want this, you know? It's a lot for me, so I know it must be a lot for you."

"My parents.. I have no idea how I'm gonna tell them." Lisa groaned and leaned back against the cushions of Rosé's couch.

"Imagine their surprise when they find out that instead of being reborn through Jesus into a straight girl you fell for me." Rosé laughed and did the same, her and Lisa's shoulders leaned against each other.

Lisa snorted and shook her head.

"I think they'll actually shit themselves, if we're being honest."

Rosé scooted down and leaned her head against Lisa's shoulder.

"I can be there with you." Rosé cleared her throat. "If that's something you want."

Lisa looked over at her.

"Whenever I tell them, you'll be there."

It was silent for a moment and they took the time to look at each other, to  _really_ look at each other.

Lisa didn't know what Rosé was thinking, but what was running through her mind was clearer than anything she had ever thought in years.

She  _loved_   Rosé.

She wasn't going to tell her now, of course. They were just beginning to figure this out and there was no way in  _hell_ she was going to scare Rosé off by word-vomiting everywhere. Rosé was on a roll, anyway, with confessing feelings and whatnot.

Instead, Lisa settled on leaning in and kissing her, hoping that she could convey what she wanted to say through the movement of her lips.

She imagined that Rosé was telling her the same thing.

* * *

It was subtle—their relationship.

Well, they weren't really in a _relationship_. Not yet, at least.

Taking it painfully slow was the easiest thing for the both of them. Rosé jumping from openly talking about dating boys all of the time to falling for Lisa was a big move. Lisa's 'unrequited' pining was over and she really didn't feel like hearing "I told you so," from everyone and their mothers. Hearing it from Seulgi was enough.

They didn't know who knew, besides Jisoo, Seulgi, and probably Jennie.

They assumed Jisoo felt like it wasn't her business to tell people, so they left it at that until their minds and their hearts were able to make the connection that _this_ was really happening.

So, for now, their "relationship" consisted of kissing and holding hands in the privacy of Rosé's place. 

It was beautiful, really. 

Rosé smelled like peaches and tasted like spearmint, all of which Lisa enjoyed.

Every time Rosé was within five feet of her, Lisa was overwhelmed. Her common sense fleed her and all she could think of was kissing her, touching her, word-vomiting _everywhere._

_She loved her, she loved her, she loved her._

It was all she could think about.

It was on the tip of her tongue every minute she spent with the other girl. Whether they were laughing over take-out or strolling through an empty park late at night, all she wanted to do was tell her she loved her. 

Yet, her fear that Rosé would run at such a blunt confession overruled every want and need she had to spill her feelings all over the place. 

It was okay, though.

She went back and forth between biting her tongue to keep herself from saying anything and taking the much more relaxing route, which was finding it in Rosé's mouth at 2 in the morning instead.

Currently, that was where Lisa was finding herself—on Rosé's _extremely_ comfortable bed, on top of, well, Rosé. 

Lisa's hips kept Rosé's body pinned down, her hands practically itching to be _somewhere_ other than resting flatly on the bed to hold herself up. 

She allowed her arms to fall and her complete bodyweight to rest on top of Rosé once she felt her legs wrap around her back, tugging her closer to her. 

With their chests pressed closely together, Lisa prayed Rosé couldn't feel how fast her heart was beating. 

That clearly wasn't a thing on her mind, Lisa realized, when she felt Rosé grab the back of her shirt in a tight knot, using her grip to pull it upwards. 

The thing was, whatever they started always ended right about here.

Either Lisa or Rosé put a halt on their..  _activities_.

It was fine.

Lisa wasn't bothered by it, really.

Rosé was just painfully attractive and it stressed her out.

"Hey, you okay?" Rosé pulled away slightly, practically panting against Lisa's lips.

"Yeah. I just," Lisa sighed. "I don't know."

Rosé gently pushed Lisa back so she could sit up straight and once she did, she grabbed Lisa's hands.

"What's bothering you?" Rosé asked, gently running her fingers over Lisa's palms.

"You don't have a right to do stuff, you know? Like, with me. Do you just not want to? Is it me?" Lisa spoke quickly and Rosé sat there, her mouth slightly open.

"Lisa, no. No, no, no." Rosé squeezed Lisa's hands tightly. "You're perfect. You are and you make me nervous. I want us to do things. I really do, more than anything. I've never been with anyone, not like that and I definitely don't know anything about being with a girl. I'm sorry that I m-"

Lisa immediately leaned forward and practically melted into her.

Her hands immediately found her hair and tugged on it towards her, which Rosé quickly obliged to, their lips moving together in the most delicate yet passionate endeavor they had ever experienced.

After a minute or so, Rosé pulled away and Lisa expected her to put another stop to it, but was shocked at what came next.

Rosé pulled her own shirt off and tossed it to the floor, Lisa swallowing at the sight in front of her.

Far from expected, but greatly appreciated.

And when Rosé whispered, "Take me," it was all Lisa could do.

* * *

Lisa woke up mid-afternoon the next day, one of her arms draped over Rosé's bare back.

A thin white sheet was laid across their naked bodies, the top of it barely up to their mid-back.

Rosé remained asleep, small snores escaping her pouty lips.

Lisa's heart fluttered at the sight.

Thinking about last night sent her mind in a frenzy.

Rosé's bare skin against Lisa's. Rosé's warmth against her fingers. Her whines and her moans. How it felt for Rosé's nails and teeth to dig into her shoulders.

Lisa blinked a few times before quickly snapping out of it, her cheeks a bit hot.

She leaned towards Rosé and kissed her bare shoulder gently, Rosé shifting in the bed in response.

"Lisa.." She whined and dug herself deeper into her pillow.

"Mhm?" She mumbled against her skin, pulling the sheet up so she could settle herself on top of Rosé's back.

"What are you doing?" Rosé laughed to herself, Lisa's lips continuing to leave feather light kisses down her shoulders and spine.

Lisa didn't bother to answer, her lips too busy leaving kisses along her skin to do something as _trivial_ as responding.

Rosé made an effort to flip over so she was on her back and Lisa allowed her to do so, lifting her weight for a moment until she got comfortable.

She noticed Rosé's gaze fall down to her bare chest and she laughed quietly when her cheeks flushed.

"Oh, shut up." She mumbled.

Lisa couldn't deny Rosé, so she did. Her lips found her neck and Rosé inhaled sharply at the contact.

"Do you wanna..?" Lisa began but stopped speaking when Rosé nodded quickly, using her arms to pull her closer to her neck.

A few seconds.

Just a few was how long Lisa and Rosé were given before a phone rang obnoxiously on her bedside table.

Lisa cursed and pulled away from Rosé, grabbing the phone off of the table and accepting the call, which was,  _of course_ , from Jisoo.

Lisa only allowed her forehead to be seen, because she wasn't interested in explaining to Jisoo why she had no clothes on.

" _Hey, Lisa?_ " Jisoo spoke onscreen and Lisa raised her eyebrows at her confused expression.

"Hey?"

" _Why are you answering Rosé's phone?_ "

Lisa internally cursed before taking a closer look at the phone in her hand, which was in fact, not hers.

" _Where's she at, huh?_ "

Lisa looked beneath her to a silently giggling Rosé and glared at her playfully.

"She's, um, right here." Lisa slowly gave Rosé's phone to her and Rosé smiled widely at the screen.

" _Oh shit! Park Chaeyoung and Lalisa Manoban!_ "

Lisa fell to Rosé's side and covered her face with her hands.

She could already  _feel_ the teasing she was about to endure and she wasn't ready for it.

" _I cannot believe you two! Avoiding hangout out with everyone because you were just 'adjusting to being with each other,' but in reality, you guys were literally screwing. Oh my, God. Wait until... Jennie! Come here!_ " Jisoo shuffled and it seemed like she got up and around, looking for Jennie.

"Stop her!" Lisa whispered to Rosé, but the other girl shrugged.

"If I could, I would've done it a long time ago. Trust me." Rosé stood up, careful to not place her phone in a place where Lisa or Rosé would flash the girl on the other line.

Rosé threw Lisa clothes, which she put on quickly so she could hold the phone properly.

" _No, Jennie. Seriously. They've gone crazy and all they're doing is having sex. I was lucky to have any contact with them. They've forbidden communication from the outside._ "

Lisa rolled her eyes at Jisoo's dramatics.

"We've only done it- you know, never mind. It's not your business, stupid." Lisa glared at Jisoo, who was continuing to tell Jennie everything she knew, well, assumed.

" _Maybe you should tell Chaeyoung to hide the fact that she's naked better and it won't be my business._ " Jisoo responded, her tone teasing. " _Anyway, me and Jennie are going to an art museum pretty soon. Stop being mushrooms and come with us._ "

Lisa looked at Rosé to see what she thought and the other girl nodded, a soft smile on her face.

Lisa kept her eyes on her for a few more seconds, taking in the beauty of her bare face. In that moment, she was the luckiest person on the planet. At least, she believed that, because looking at Rosé smiling at her like she was the only person in the world meant everything to her. There wasn't a single place she would rather be.

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, of course. Give us 20 minutes?" Lisa asked and Jisoo agreed, before saying her goodbyes and hanging up the phone.

Lisa and Rosé shared a few more innocent kisses between cleaning themselves up.

Lisa realized that going out in public with Rosé came unbelievably naturally. 

It made her a bit nervous, walking hand in hand with another girl, side by side with two other girls holding hands. If asked, Lisa wouldn't be able to remember how many dirty looks the four of them received strolling through the large museum, but in that moment, they didn't care. They were all there together. That's what mattered. 

"Lisa! Take a picture of me!" Rosé departed from Lisa's grip excitedly and headed over to a rather famous Renaissance style painting, tucking her hair behind her ear before she stood in a position well enough for Lisa to take a picture.

Lisa raised her camera to her eye, squinting slightly, and snapped a picture.

Then another.

Then another.

"When can I see them?" Rosé asked, walking back over to Lisa with a happy skip.

Lisa almost forgot to answer, because, _God_ , was Rosé cute.

"As soon as I get them developed." Lisa linked her arm with Rosé's and they followed behind Jennie and Jisoo, who were talking quietly to themselves. "Do you want a filter on them?"

Rosé hummed for a moment, as to think.

"A little bit. Not too much."

Lisa nodded.

"Chaeyoung! Look, it's that painting you have on your wall! Well, the fake version of it." Jisoo called out ahead of them and both girls looked up to see her pointing towards their right.

Sure enough, a real-life replica of Rosé's mock painting was propped up on a wall, protected by two guards on either side of it. 

"Wow.." Lisa whispered under her breath. Partly because it really was a beautiful painting. She could see why Rosé had it hanging above her bed. Also, she had many fond memories of rolling around beneath it with Rosé, so the nostalgia she was experiencing was like no other.

Rosé seemed to read her mind, so she leaned over and gave Lisa a soft kiss on her lips.

"Yuck, guys. Get a room." Jisoo feigned disgust, but Jennie gave her a quick shove on her shoulder.

It was hard for Lisa to believe, still, if she was being honest.

She was here, out in public, with people she could confidently call her best friends. She wasn't used to that. She never had more than one. Seulgi was always enough for her and she was the only person she could ever rely on. But now, she had Jisoo. She had Jennie. She had Rosé. She had a constant support system that she knew would be there for her twenty four hours a day, seven days a week, if needed. 

Had she known her parents taking her to church would result in this, she would've saved the anger. She would've saved the resentment, because now, even though they'd probably hate the reason behind it, she wanted to thank them a thousand times over. She found friends, real lifelong friends, and she found someone who she could love for a very long time.

Looking at Rosé for the millionth time in the past hour, the urge to word-vomit appeared again. It bubbled in the bottom of her stomach and made her tongue tingle. It brought goosebumps to her lengthy arms and made her weak at the knees.

"Are you okay?" Rosé whispered in her ear and Lisa almost jumped, but she managed to stand still.

_Say it. Say it. Say it. Say it._

"Hm, I," Lisa choked out and cleared her throat, physically feeling her cheeks get hot.

"Lisa? What is it? What's wrong?"

"I, oh my God," Lisa groaned and nervously picked at her bangs, a habit she had picked up ever since she got them a few years back.

Rosé stopped walking and cocked her head to the side, the look of pure concern on her face prompting Lisa to say it even more.

Jennie and Jisoo stopped in their tracks as well and were watching them from a safe distance, careful to not involve themselves in their conversation but close enough to eye them and make sure they were okay.

"I love you."

Rosé froze.

Lisa's mouth was wide open, stuck on the last consonant of the last word.

"Lisa... We sure have a pattern for confessing to one another in the oddest of places, don't we?" Rosé gave one of Lisa's cheeks a quick kiss. "I tell you I'm falling for you in a bathroom and you tell me you love me in the middle of an art museum, a good thousand people around us."

Lisa laughed nervously, Rosé responding by standing in front of her and grabbing both of her hands.

"Lisa, I have loved you before I could even think of admitting it to myself." Rosé smiled and gave Lisa's hands a quick squeeze. "So, yeah, of course, I love you too, dummy."

Lisa breathed out a sigh of relief and let go of one of Rosé's hands to place it on her own heart.

" _Shit_ , you could've gotten to that quicker."

Rosé's head fell back and she laughed loudly, and all Lisa could do was watch her.

She was falling for this girl headfirst.

Who in their right mind wouldn't?

She wasn't perfect, Lisa knew that. No one on this Earth was, but if anyone was close to it, it had to be Rosé. It had to be the angel sent to her months and months ago. It had to be the girl that was the reason to stay at that church, against the voices in her head telling her to run as quickly as possible. Telling her to just say 'fuck it' and move in with Seulgi, leaving her homophobic parents behind to think about what they had done.

Thank God she had stayed. Thank God her parents sent her. And thank God she met the girl named Park Chaeyoung, pink hair, her velvet voice, and all, that long Sunday morning.

So, she cupped Rosé's face with her hands and pulled her in for a kiss, ignoring the scoffs from passerby's around them.

She could only hope she'd stay in her life forever, no matter what they were, but she would really appreciate to have her as her lover, don't get her wrong. She _loved_ her after all. They loved each other.

"What was that for?" Rosé breathed out when they parted and Lisa shrugged. 

"I don't know. Just you being you."

" _Hey_ , that was so cheesy." Rosé whined, pushing her playfully.

"But you liked it."

"Hm, I did."

"Hey, are you guys gonna continue staring at each other or are we going to keep walking around?" Jisoo teased and Lisa rolled her eyes playfully.

"Ready?" Rosé asked and Lisa gave her one last quick kiss.

"I am for anything with you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve had no clue where to take this honestly... so the chapter is kind of short but! chaelisa endgame. all that matters  
> also  
> idk if this would bother anyone but im sorry for not writing smut???? ksjsjjsjsjs i just don't feel comfortable writing about them in that way, but if someone else does, that's totally cool too :) don't kill me lol  
> but, this is the end. thank you so much for reading. i've loved hearing how you guys connect with lisa's character so much and i know that my writing may seem pre-mature, but i'm learning each time i write. my next fic 'Will You Be There In The Morning?' has the first chapter up! hope i can see your support there, too! and i have a one shot up as well, titled 'Dreadnoughts and Fenders'  
> thank you again from the bottom of my heart

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic so please be patient with me. i'm also not religious so if i get anything pertaining to christianity wrong, i'm sorry. as this goes on, i'm planning to make the chapters much longer. i'm just getting used to writing on archive. thank you SO much for reading :) also chaelisa is the best ship in blackpink


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